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Indirect contact order

5 replies

catarratto · 02/05/2019 18:15

Hi.
There has been an indirect contact order in place since Dec 2016 with cards to be sent Xmas, birthdays and Easter to my child. The order states I should 'assist and promote' replies which I have done with no problems. However, at xmas 2018 after receiving a card and money, my child was reluctant to reply and then point blank refused. I continued to press the matter and she agreed to reply at Easter. At Easter 2019, nothing arrived from the father. I still suggested she send a card but she is still refusing and I am becoming increasingly concerned I will be hauled back to court for breaking the order. I have not heard anything from the father's side but now feel this is possible. He has a history of being very quiet and then suddenly sending solicitors letters which usually end in more proceedings.I phoned my solicitor but because I've used them previously I cannot have another free consultation so I'm going to look elsewhere. In the meantime though I am still trying to get my child to send a card. I feel now I'm going to have to be really stern with her but I don't feel comfortable doing this given what she's been through already. The judge at the last hearing was severe with me and selfish as it may sound, I do not want to have to face him again.

OP posts:
Beachbodynowayready · 02/05/2019 18:21

Your ex should have maintained the Easter contact - imo not up to your dc to send the first card... Not perry but if ex has decided against contact then a non reply could be upsetting for the dc..
Prob not but in the eyes of the judge deeming him worth missing!

prh47bridge · 02/05/2019 18:21

How old is your daughter?

catarratto · 02/05/2019 18:30

She's 12

OP posts:
Xenia · 02/05/2019 19:49

Couldn't you just send the card as if from her as families who are not divorced do all the time when thanking Auntie Bettie for the lovely vase the teenager has dumped in the bin in a temper and refuses to thank her for? Would the father even know? You could get the child to sign there name at the bottom or order a moonpig card by post or something like that and just tell the child you were doing that - try to get them involved in it.

BlackeyedGruesome · 02/05/2019 20:00

just 12 or nearly 13 12?

assist and promote?

would making a record of when you have asked and dd's responses?
would buying a card and stamp each time she is supposed to send them and keeping them as proof that you are trying to promote replies? (what I would do as a lay person)

not sure what the legal definition of assist and promote is?

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