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Original poster

Contact order

21 replies

Cat846 · 29/04/2019 20:10

Hi, anyone have any experience of how a contact order works? Baby’s father has had next to no involvement in child’s 9 months of life and has now sought a contact order. Contact has never been denied, he’s simply chosen not to see his daughter. How does the process work? Will he automatically be granted unsupervised contact with her? Thanks

OP posts:

Doyoumind · 29/04/2019 23:50

Was mediation suggested to you or has he proceeded with an application without requesting mediation?

He won't automatically be granted unsupervised access but he may be granted unsupervised access. The order will be made in the child's best interests and that's usually seen as some kind of contact unless there are serious safeguarding concerns. Have you received a date for a hearing?

Original poster

Cat846 · 30/04/2019 01:10

Mediation was discussed but we were told our situation was ‘unsuitable’ for meditation.
I’m more than happy for some sort of access I’m just concerned that it’ll go straight to unsupervised when he has no clue how to take care of a child

OP posts:

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 30/04/2019 07:11

What are the reasons mediation didn't work? This is significant.

Original poster

Cat846 · 30/04/2019 07:59

We never attended mediation, we went to separate assessment appointments and were told it was deemed unsuitable for mediation at this time. No reason was provided as to why

OP posts:

MissMalice · 30/04/2019 08:39

I’m just concerned that it’ll go straight to unsupervised when he has no clue how to take care of a child

Lots of people become parents without knowing how to care for a child. They learn quickly. If you haven’t denied contact and you’re not happy with unsupervised, what contact have you proposed?

Original poster

Cat846 · 30/04/2019 09:12

As baby is so young I’d proposed contact take place with me present until baby felt comfortable and he had learnt some basic parenting skills

OP posts:

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 30/04/2019 09:26

So, did the Mediator sign section 4a of form C100?

You must know why they seemed you unsuitable?

Mediation was unsuitable for both my divorce and CAO and I know exactly why.

I'm just trying to get a more complete picture as to why contact with the baby's father should be supervised or whatever.

MissMalice · 30/04/2019 09:43

Any safeguarding risks that you know of?

Original poster

Cat846 · 30/04/2019 10:57

Honestly I’m not sure? My mediation appointment was over the phone and after answering a bunch of questions she said I’d be emailed a decision and a few weeks later I got an email saying we feel mediation is unsuitable. I don’t know if it’s because of anything I said or if it’s because of anything my ex said? It wasn’t court ordered mediation it was private mediation.

And no safeguarding concerns

OP posts:

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 30/04/2019 11:22

It sounds quite odd. So do you have section 4a? I guess so or your ex would not be able to apply to the Court.

Original poster

Cat846 · 30/04/2019 11:40

No? No section 4a whatever that is

OP posts:

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 30/04/2019 12:05

Section 4a is part of form C100 (The child arrangement order) form. The Court need to see that both parties have attended a MIAM (the initial mediator assessment meeting) and either that they've tried mediation or are exempt from it. The mediator needs to sign that form (4a).

Do you a Court hearing date?

What prompted you to go to your initial mediation assessment?
I've only been on the side of the one initiating proceedings so I don't know how it works from the other side, sorry.

shallichangemyname · 30/04/2019 12:15

Court will make an order which is in the best interests of the child. That is the overriding legal "test".
So your job is to propose something that you believe is workable and is in DC's best interests.
It is normal where there has been no/little contact for it to start slowly and build up. However, with a baby little and often is seen as better.
Your desire to be comforted about his baby skills is reasonable and also to start off with visits to you at home.
However, he will say this is awkward for him to be "policed" by you, especially if you have a poor relationship. If this is the case, is there anyone else who might supervise initially?

Original poster

Cat846 · 30/04/2019 12:25

I received a letter asking me to attend a mediation assessment because my ex requested it.
I’ve received a court date for two weeks from now but definitely don’t have that 4a form so maybe court will ask us to attend mediation at our court date? Which I’m more than happy to do. So if we come to an agreement in mediation is a court order still created?

Thankyou shallichangemyname so I can propose what I feel suits DC and the court will consider that? I wasn’t sure if they’d just look at DC age and say she should see dad for x hours per week etc

I had suggested someone who would supervise but he didn’t agree and wanted someone who I didn’t agree with so we were at a catch 22 situation.

One of my main concerns is the fact DC is breastfed and still relies a lot on milk feeds and feeds frequently/on demand. We’ve been weaning for a few months but DC just isn’t taking to it yet (HV isn’t concerned and thinks DC is doing great and is more than happy that nutrition is all from breastmilk still) I am unable to express for health reasons so providing milk isn’t an option

OP posts:

MissMalice · 30/04/2019 12:43

Section 4a of the C100 is only relevant for you if you have applied to court. If it’s his application, the mediator will have signed it for him.

Some hearings are thorough, some really aren’t. If there are no safeguarding concerns, I can’t see why he needs to be supervised at all.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 30/04/2019 14:12

Malice Thank you for clarifying the form issue, as I said to the OP I've only experienced this as the applicant. OP, I'm sorry if I confused matters.

Luke280288 · 30/04/2019 14:23

Hi can anybody help.
I have currently gone through a spit with my ex and have move out of the area, but my ex is apparently got a solictor involved which I dont know is true or not, but saying my current partner isnt allowed near our kids, my two eldest kids live with ex and I have the two youngest, can my ex stop my current partner been around our kids at all and saying his wants a contract agreement saying I'll keep my current partner away from kids but where due to move into gether end of this week.

prh47bridge · 30/04/2019 14:28

Luke280288 - You would be better starting your own thread rather than hijacking someone else's. However, unless your ex can show genuine safeguarding concerns he will not be able to stop your current partner seeing your children. He may not like it but he cannot control who the children see or what they do while they are with you.

TeacupDrama · 30/04/2019 14:32

Hi Luke
you should maybe start your own thread
I do not believe contact orders can specify certain people can't be there unless there are safeguarding concerns if you are living with your current partner your ex can't require him to leave his own home, neither can access be denied because you don't like new partner, you have not been told there is a partner; you have not met new partner

If someone is deemed suitable for unsupervised access ( almost all cases) who they met on this visits is up to the parent at the time you can't forbid them meeting cousins grandparents friends from work next door neighbours and indeed new partners , if you need to work during your access time you can arrange childcare with whom you like, you mum your new partner or a childminder

if you have already moved it might be OK but if someone moves a long way away so access is difficult a parent can try and stop the move

TooTrusting · 30/04/2019 14:54

OP yes the court will take into account the specific facts of the case. There is no "standard".
The court has the power to make you mediate and do things like go on a parenting course. Say you are mystified why mediation was deemed inappropriate, you were happy to give it a go.

Doyoumind · 30/04/2019 17:59

OP if you aren't getting any legal advice, make sure you go to the hearing with a detailed proposal regarding contact and be ready to negotiate. Suggest starting with supervised contact little and often and then increasing from there.

Don't feel you have to be the one supervising contact. If things are not good between you and your ex that might not be a healthy environment for your baby.

From my experience, the matter won't be resolved there and then and there will be another hearing. The court wants to see parents that are willing to cooperate with each other. If it looks like you are and he is not it will work in your favour.

There's quite a lot to read online to prepare you if you are representing yourself. You can't take a friend in with you, by the way.

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