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Original poster

Can child hild services get involved with my second baby?

33 replies

Thecolourgrey · 27/04/2019 12:48

Hi guys please no judgement here as I'm confused about what's going to happen in my current situ.
Background - I have a 2 year old on a child in need plan, she has previously been on a child protection plan due to domestic abuse from her father towards myself (but the child herself has not been at risk of abuse, her dad is great with her). They've stepped her down to a child in need plan now with a view to being discharged within the next six months due to an adequate plan in place which has been working well (her dad collects her from my mum once a week, we no longer have contact).

Now I've found out that I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my second, different father but not in a relationship and the father will not be having anything to do with the child, his choice. I'm prepared to raise the new baby alone but this brings about the question - will social services be able to intervene with my second child as it is not at all at risk? Will they even be able to find out I'm pregnant at all? Can they check my medical records and will they be notified? My child is only on a child in need plan and by the time my second is born I assume I will no longer be under child services anyway. Experiences and advice will be greatly appreciated!
Thank you

OP posts:
PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 27/04/2019 12:51

I don’t know about in other areas, but my MW at my booking appointment with both dc asked if I’d ever had ANY involvement with social services.

Littlefish · 27/04/2019 12:54

You need to be honest with your social worker and tell her that you are pregnant. Pregnancy, childbirth and early childhood are all stressful times, as you know, and children's services will want to be sure that your first child and you are safe.

Original poster
Thecolourgrey · 27/04/2019 12:54

Well to be honest I was just going to wing it and tell the midwife I haven't had any involvement with them, in my area we have that too I remember from my first baby but obviously I had never been seen by SS at that point

OP posts:
IVEgottheDECAF · 27/04/2019 12:55

Your mw will likely ask about any SS involvement and it is in your best interests to be honest

Mintandthyme · 27/04/2019 12:56

Honesty is the best policy.

Megan2018 · 27/04/2019 12:57

@Thecolourgrey
Lying to the midwife is the worst thing to do-when you get found out it shows you to be a liar and completely irresponsible, so more likely to have SS involvement than not.
You need to own your responsibilities not hide from them. Are you sure you should be having this child?!

Original poster
Thecolourgrey · 27/04/2019 12:58

I know that it is best to be honest, and I know I've done nothing wrong and me and my child are safe 100% but I think this will just give them a reason to hang around me when they have no reason to, I do understand their intentions however it does get draining having them visiting me often and also the stigma, my child is due to start nursery soon and I find it very embarrassing

OP posts:
Coffeeandcrumpet · 27/04/2019 13:00

Please tell the truth, yes they will ask, but they are clearly happy with your parenting if they are going to step down your dds plan, so why lie?

stucknoue · 27/04/2019 13:00

If you lie you could get into big trouble, they will question why! Be honest and accept that they will take an interest, also despite you saying the father doesn't want to be involved they will ask questions of him. They are very experienced in this and don't want to take kids off people yet they have to ensure you are ok to parent two little ones

Original poster
Thecolourgrey · 27/04/2019 13:01

Also does anyone have the answer to the questions of can they find out and are they able to intervene such as a pre birth assessment when there's not any risk to the second child, just based on the fact that my first has been involved with them (but like I said is on the lowest form of involvement - a child in need plan)

OP posts:
IVEgottheDECAF · 27/04/2019 13:02

Honestly they are not going to hang around you for no reason! But if you lie about this then they may wonder what else you lie about.

IVEgottheDECAF · 27/04/2019 13:03

Dont worry about the nursery either they have seen it all before (and much worse)

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 27/04/2019 13:06

A child in need plan is not the same as you being signed off completely; they clearly still have concerns.
If they find out you lied (and they will find out, how could you possibly keep it hidden), they’ll be all over you like a rash.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 27/04/2019 13:07

If you lie about this, you'll have them hanging around for much longer. It'll look like a refusal to engage and that will seem suspicious. They do have the ability to cross check information across services when they need to.

Be open with them. Tell them that it's a different father; you have a plan, and if they want to do the assessment, go through it. If your daughter is about to be discharged anyway, that probably won't be delayed if SS agree with your plan, and it'll all be over by then.

Hiding it would raise massive concerns about whether you are putting your children first, and I expect they'd be concerned that your daughters father is involved; as there's no real reason to be hide it from them otherwise.

All the best Thanks

InceyWinceyette · 27/04/2019 13:09

Being honest will most likely result is a quick sign off, lying will be more likely to result in continued assessment / monitoring.

When things have been difficult, why make them worse?

IceBearRocks · 27/04/2019 13:09

As soon as you are looked up, 5heyll see you have a CIN plan and you'll totally be suspicious for not disclosing it...like you have something to his!

Bluntness100 · 27/04/2019 13:16

Don't you ever want them out your life? Because lying to thr mid wife is going to ensure they stay.

Because at one point a social worker is going to spot youre pregnant. And then they will need to investigate why they weren't informed. And then they will know you lied. And they will wonder why.

Be a grown up about this. Social services are in your child's life to protect them as at some point, for whatever reason, you were unable to do so. The fact you find it embarrassing is irrelevant.

dreichuplands · 27/04/2019 13:18

Covering up your pregnancy is likely to get you much longer social services involvement.
You are likely to be asked if you have had any contact so would have to lie directly and it should cross check when your details are entered on the system.
This will then trigger alarm bells with professionals on the basis that you wouldn't lie unless you had something to hide.
The quickest way to get them out of your life is to tell them what you have told us. Being lied to gets very old very quickly when you a child protection worker.

youarenotkiddingme · 27/04/2019 13:22

Don't lie. That makes it seem like you have something to hide.

I'm surprised though a child on a CIN plan due to domestic abuse has unsupervised visits with the abuser. Why have the plan if they foresee no risk Confused

And anyway - this child has no contact with the abuser who activated the first CP plan.

Be honest. There's less risk to this child but you risk unnecessary probing if you are truthful and they discover facts.

Original poster
Thecolourgrey · 27/04/2019 13:29

youarenotkiddingme - They don't foresee any risk anymore as it was identified that the problem was between myself and the father, we are both absolutely fine on our own so they don't see anything wrong with my child visiting. At first it was "kind" of supervised as he lives with his mother and she was always there, but now he's allowed to collect her and do whatever he wants within reason as long as she's returned on time

OP posts:
Original poster
Thecolourgrey · 27/04/2019 13:30

youarenotkiddingme - the plan is about to be let go, they dropped from CP to CIN just to tail off my case basically and keep an eye on the last couple of months until I actually get discharged

OP posts:
TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 27/04/2019 13:58

You’re on their books (as it were) for the next six months at least, op. That’s a long time for it to be dismissed as a mere formality.
You seem far too sanguine about the whole thing, tbh. You are far from out of the woods regarding your existing child.

youarenotkiddingme · 27/04/2019 14:32

Exactly why you need to be honest. You've engaged with services and worked 'down' a plan as such. Being honest wound raise any concerns.

Lying will.

Good luck with new baby btw. Squishy newborns are great Grin

MidniteScribbler · 27/04/2019 23:25

If you keep making bad choices, they'll be in your life for a lot longer.

MaudeLynne · 27/04/2019 23:28

You might find the birth and raising on dc2 really difficult and want all of the help that you can get. Don't lie, or omit the truth, or anything dishonest. Go in, explain your situation and let them help you if you need it.