Social services

[myexisanasshole]

I am in a custody battle with my ex who lied/ exaggerated on a court order and removed them from my care. I am not coping well at all and the solicitor has said it isn't looking great as i tool and overdose at Xmas (not to kill myself) and had a breakdown in January to do with a reduction on meds. Since then i had a bbq with a guy I had met and his friends at the weekend. This ended up with me asking one of his friend who was being extremely rude to leave. He wouldn't go so he was forcibly removed by the guys there, they needed up putting him in a choke hold and he passed out, when he woke up he got a knife and tried to stab people. I called the police and he was arrested. They are now saying as I have kids (even tho they weren't here and dont live here) they have to refer to social services! If they do this I will never get my kids back. I kicked everyone out after it happened, I did t realise they were 'bad news' as the police told me. I just seem to have terrible judgement at the moment, am lonely as scared of what is going to happen. I want to kill myself, I've had enough, I k ow the children will never come back now, I'll loose my house, I'll have no money and worst of all the children I have raised alone from birth will be taken from me. I am so depressed I can't face them, I'm only allowed supervised visits as it is, it's all such a mess I can't deal with anymore 😢

Do you have mental health support in place?

Please look after yourself and be careful of who you might class as friends. You're very vulnerable at the moment and people will take advantage of you. First step for today, blocking this guy and his friends out of your life.

This sounds awfully difficult for you, I'm so sorry you're going through this :(

I think the best option now is to look forward in a more proactive way. Can you move to a flatshare (not ideal, but not homeless) perhaps? Or a studio flat? Can you try to improve the view SS have of you, so that in time you can be allowed unsupervised visits? Keep seeing the children, no matter how hard it is. They need to see you. Speak to a doctor to get some help, and accept everything they offer. You can pull through this.

I have lots of support in place, have blocked this guy out and any friend associated with him. I have CAFCASS involved already so this is not what I need and makes me look like I can't make decision about suitable people. How can they report me of the kids weren't here and don't live here, I'm upset enough as it is and am having another breakdown, I can't get off the sofa, the kids want to go home because I'm so miserable. I know I'm making it worse but I'm really struggling, I feel I should send them back to their dads as they are suffering at my emotional outbursts. I just don't want to live anymore m. They are better of with my ex and his new gf.

I'll never get another place as I'm on benefits and I was very lucky to get this house. I'll have to go on the council list and I'll only get a one bed while the kids arent with me. My life is at rock bottom and I'm so so depressed I can't get up x

Will they really call social services when the children weren't here and don't live here? I'm already been looked at less than favourably because of my mental health issues that included a breakdown and an accidental overdose in January. I was perfectly stable until he took them away from me, now I'm in self destruct and feel like just handing them over and leaving and never coming back. They deserve better than me, I'm a failure as a mother my parents hate me, I picked stupid people as friends and I don't know where to start to make it better. Anything I say about not coping will mean less time seeing my kids and it being more likely that my ex gets full custody.

Yes they will make as aware. I do it frequently at work where there has been disorder or violence.

It is highly likely that they will contact social services.
You need to focus on getting yourself as well and stable as possible. This will be the best thing possible for your dc in the long run.

OP for your children's sake you need to focus on your own health and wellbeing for a little bit. You cant care for the young uns if you're struggling with yourself. It seems like a dark time now but you will get through this, engage with every service you can. I'm sorry you're going through this and hope things get better.

Sorry could I ask what your ex lied / exaggerated about in court , it’s just my ex who was abusive is now trying to get a change of residence 3 years after I left and I’m fearful of what he will do to try and achieve this x

You need support. The fact that you allowed dangerous people into your life shows that you are struggling now and need support. From their perspective, what if your children had been there? They have to protect them and by letting strange men into your life, it suggests you are not able to. Contact SS yourself, explain everything and tell them you need and want their help to create a best situation for your children and show them you can do it. You can do it.

You made a mistake. Own it. Your children only have one mum. They love you and need you. Call SS yourself.

OP you need to think about what is best for your kids. If you are inviting people like this into your home, taking accidental overdoses, and being so self destructive then can you honestly say that the best and safest place for them at the moment is living with you?

Focus on getting yourself better, and then once you are emotionally in a better place then you can try to get your children back. I know how hard it is, I struggle very badly with mental health problems too, but ultimately the kids wellbeing is the priority at the moment, and so is yours.

It was a mistake, I didn't invite the guy someone else's did and when he was rude I asked him to leave and then this all happened. I've lost everything, I've been taken advantage of and used. How can I loose my kids over this. I've blocked them all out of my life and am trying to get better. I need to speak to my solicitor tomorrow and see what she says before I contact social services myself. I'm utterly disgusted with myself x

You are putting yourself in these positions time after time.

I can recommend this website - survivingsafeguarding.co.uk/

It sounds overwhelming for you right now. This website should help you begin to focus on the small, manageable steps you need to be taking to keep yourself safe so that you can keep your children safe.