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Making a complaint about a funeral director...and dealing with solicitors.

7 replies

GDJJ · 21/04/2019 00:04

So my father passed unexpectedly and suddenly two months ago and had to be repatriated home at the expensive of the company he worked for. We chose a funeral director to arrange the funeral and myself and my half-brother organised it together. It must be noted however that my mother's side of the family do not get along with my father's side. My mother and father were divorced but still considered themselves a couple and I was the closest one to him so losing him hit me horrendously.

We also employed a solicitor to deal with his estate and life insurance policy and will-searching. However it has been over a month and she is seriously dragging her heels. She still doesn't know if the policy will be going to myself and my half brother or if it will be swallowed by his estate and debts etc.

However, the funeral director we used was rude, disrespectful, unsympathetic, unkind and is now scare mongering me into paying for my father's funeral. We had the bill sent straight to the solicitor who informed the FD that there were funds in my father's account but that they would not cover the cost of the funeral however the life insurcance policy will but it will take a while longer to pay out.

The FD then went on a forty minute disgusting rant about how she has paid for the funeral and how could I let her pay for it when I have explained multiple times that the policy will pay her. I have told her to go to the solicitor but she is insistent she wants payment. When I told her I Didn't have ££££ to pay upfront she told me to go to a loan shark and get a credit card to put it on. She told me she went to see my father's plot and that there was a stone on it and all she could think of was how she's paid for that plot. My father would be disgusted with how she has treated us.

I'm making a formal complaint about the multiple things she has done and the way she has been with bereaved relatives and grieving children. Question is, should I make the complaint now to the National association of funeral directors or wait until the policy pays out/ bill is settled?

my poor father took out his policy after an accident deliberately so we wouldn't be going through this type of thing after his passing. He would be so upset and it has upset me greatly. To feel victimised and targeted by a stern lady with no sympathy. What would you do?

Make complaint now or after bill has settled? and would you go with another solicitor as the one we have chosen is very very slow with getting things done.

OP posts:
Weenurse · 21/04/2019 00:13

I am in Australia.
When my Uncle passed away it took nearly a year to settle things, and I had his will in my possession.
Here, we had to advertise for 6 months to see if anyone had a claim on his estate. He pre paid his funeral, so that was not an issue. I do think insurance companies are slow to pay out though.
The solicitor then had to present everything to the courts, after waiting to get a court date.
We then had to wait for the probate courts decision, that took another 6-8 weeks.
So Uncle passed away in March and it was the following February that I got possession of his estate. We then had to sell his flat, so another 6 months before everything was final.
Good luck

notangelinajolie · 21/04/2019 00:34

If this has gone to probate and is a complicated estate which is going through a solicitor it could take many months. A funeral director would know this. I suggest you contact your father's bank - they will pay out funeral expenses direct to the funeral director before probate is granted. Even if there are insufficient funds to cover the whole of the funeral they will release whatever is available.

If you and your brother are the only beneficiaries it would be much simpler and quicker to apply for probate yourselves. Solicitors will typically take longer because they need to ensure there are no other beneficiaries to the estate before they pay out. They also charge a considerable sum for doing this. If you can possibly sort this out between yourselves then I would recommend you do this. Look on the gov.uk website for information/help.

titchy · 21/04/2019 11:00

Life assurance policies normally sit outside someone's estate so shouldn't be in the equation at all (I think....). Definitely report the rudeness of the funeral director, but at the same time yes as a pp said pay what you can from the estate now. Personally I'd be doing everything I could to pay in full though.

Solicitor timescale dealing with a life policy seems pretty standard tbh - they can take months.

wigglypiggly · 21/04/2019 12:21

Our probate took 18months, a month is nothing. Like pp suggests his bank will probably release the money for the funeral and if you are employing a solicitor they will find the policy and get it reimbursed. Could you ring the life assurance company yourself.. with the fd behaviours make a complaint to their governing body.what does mean there is a stone on his plot, this doesn't happen for awhile in the UK.

GDJJ · 21/04/2019 12:41

He was cremated so we had the stone/tablet in about a month. Seems as though the time scales quoted by the solicitor are right then. There’s not enough funds in his bank account to even cover half of the funeral which is an issue. I will definitely try ringing the life insurance policy people myself once Easter is over. Thank you x

OP posts:
wigglypiggly · 21/04/2019 13:09

At difficult times all you want is help. The fd must have agreed to the funeral without checking there was enough money to pay for it, ours wanted money up front and we were given a quote before the actual bill. Sorry you are having to go through thisFlowers

wigglypiggly · 21/04/2019 13:13

You may be able to claim for funeral expenses if you are receiving benefits, look up the gov.uk website.

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