See my grandkids

[leigh39]

My son is 22 and he has new GF has recently given birth to a set a of twins born early so are in neo natal ... my son and I had a fall last year over trivial stuff and we haven't spoke even though I have tried to reach out to him on numerous occasions .. he has another son to someone else who is 4 years old and I have contact with my grandson however his new Gf sent me a picture of the twins when they were born on the 1st of March and I asked could I see them and wanted to be in there life ... she said she would ask my son ... he later sent me a big message stating he hasn't got the energy to build bridges and does not want me on his life and not to message him back ... I'm heart broke and don't know what to do ... I've been trying best a mum can be and give my kids everything through life single handled and yeah we had q stupid fall out which was not my fault but to stop me seeing the twins

Any advice please I'm what to do

He's not using them against you. He has 3 week old premature twins that have been unwell, this situation is not about you. And if you're estranged and hassling him he's probably becoming more stressed with every message.

If he wants to see you he'll let you know. In the meantime you're probably pushing him away by repeatedly texting him.

Your explanation about why you fell out doesn't explain anything, so nobody can comment on whether it was your fault or not.

You aren't taking any responsibility for the falling out. Which is fine if you want to be right. But if you want contact, you need to work out why your son doesn't want contact. And actually deal with the issues.

But you don't sound like you want to do that.

Oh OP. My MIL was exactly the same as you. My baby spent a few months in NICU (fighting for her life). It was traumatic to say the least. All we heard from MIL was 'me me me me me'. She made no effort or consideration as to how me and DP felt after going through what was one of the hardest times of our lives. It was all about HER. We were exhausted and once our little girl was home we just wanted to enjoy her by ourselves for a little while and come to terms with what had happened. Again, MIL was all me me me me and started to demand to see her Granddaughter. We asked for a little more time and she then accused us of using our daughter as a 'pawn'. It didn't stop there. What followed were personal insults to me and DP because she couldn't get her own way. 10 months on we are now NC with MIL. We will never forgive her for making that time even harder for us. She should have been a support but instead she was a hinderance. Please take this as advice. Your actions now can and will affect your future relationships.

Actually I really wish my MIL could read some of these comments. She still can't comprehend that she has done wrong

I haven't been pestering my son I've sent three messages in the last 24 days to his now partner which are closing messages which don't need a reply ..... baring in mind she message me initially asking me for photos of my son and sending me pictures of the babies

My son was with his first GF and cheated on her with his new partner and to my
Knowledge I believe he has them both going at the same time

His previous GF was close to me ( through no fault of my own as he use to bring her to my house when he went to the gym because he had trust issues

I feel he is keeping distance as he does not want to mix the two together

Also me and my new partner had rows over certain behaviors on the house hold how my sons were and they got wind of it and came and jumped my partner in my garden in front of my son and ultimately hit him with a bar .... yes my partner had a gob on him and shouldn't interfere but he didn't deserve that

So basically I feel it's a combination of given an ultimatum by my grown up son who don't even live with me ...

However he is my son who I love dearly and I have tried to reach out with no response

But you don't stop caring as a mother ...

I see my other grandson often

And I have never taken sides and don't get involved with either partner but comfort when upset ...

So like I said feel free to advise or offer constructive comments

In terms of the three messages sent they were no more than "
Hello I hope your all well and babies are doing ok ,

No insults or nastiness nothing of that sort I'm not like that

Oh yikes, it all sounds a bit Jeremy Kyle.
You don’t sound like you like him very much though he may well be a product of his environment?

It sounds messy though

Yogawannabe

Do you deliberately stir and aggravate others by your crappy comments ... " a product of his enviourment .. and I don't like my own son much ...

If I didn't I wouldn't be reaching out ...

But this isn’t about your son. It’s all about seeing your grandchildren. Who happen to be poorly premature twins whose parents are protecting - and themselves - from additional stress.

You aren’t a source of support for them. You’re a stressor. Leave them the fuck alone.