Moving away.

[Teddybear84]

Hi all.

I'd like to move away from my ex. Only an hour away by car as I've got more chance of work and my new partner whom I've been with for a year and am engaged to is from that town.

My ex is behaving as though I'm taking my son to Mars!

Have any of you been through this? I can't afford to live in the town I'm in anymore.

I feel trapped because my ex has threatened me to go back to court and this time take my son off me for good. He has access 60/40.

Thanks

Do you mean he has your son 60% of the time? Sounds like shared residence to me.

How old is your son?

@Collaborate Yes we have a court order. My son is 4. He has him every other weekend and two nights in between and half half terms and 3 weeks in the summer.

@Collaborate He forced me into court as he repeatedly wouldn't give my son back when he had access.

How do you envisage your DS maintaining that 40% contact if you move away?
Have you considered how much it will cost you to do all the travelling?
Do you have a job offer? Does your son have a school place? What’s changed that you could afford to live in your current town but now you can’t?

It is possible that the court may decide that it’s better for your son to live with his father and spend time with you if you decided to move away. You need to show very clearly how it is in your child’s (not yours) best interests to move and how those benefits outweigh any loss of time spent with Dad.

If he's in school you will need the consent of the father to change the school.

Moving so far away will effectively subvert the court order. Before you move away you will have to either agree with the father the new arrangements or, if he refuses to agree, you will have to apply to court for a variation.

Your partner knows you have a child surely? It seems unfair to move your child in these circumstances where you have shared care.

It seems unfair to move your child in these circumstances where you have shared care.

Often not the case. The court frequently allows a resident parent to move away. Each case is different.

Why should a parent not be allowed to live wherever they wish? That would be unfair too.

I wax thinking of the child.

It's too long a story to explain. I put up with my ex being abusive and a cheat for 14 yrs. Yes I agreed to have my son thinking he would change. I'm now being supported by a DV charity and the police. Now I'm a loving relationship with someone who really cares and loves me. My ex is still trying to control me but has no direct contact with me. He's not allowed to come do my home or be present at handovers. I've always encouraged the contact. He's started neglecting my son though and won't deal with any medical issues. I've been to the Gp twice now after he's come home to me. One for his eczema and he currently has a bad case on impetigo. I just want to start over with my new partner whom I've been with a year. He has kids and he meets his ex halfway for hand overs with no issues so I don't see why moving away would be an issue when I am only thinking of my sons welfare. Ok changing school isn't ideal but longer term I think it would pay off. Yes I've had job offers and my fiancé has family/friends in the new town. He moved up here to be with me but apart from my sons dad there's nothing here for me. It's only an hour away and I'd meet him halfway but he can't drive which he seems to blame me for. I'll speak to my solicitor I think.

You can give it a go, but it’s not certain at all that you’d get permission from the court. This may be one of those cases that is finely balanced.

You’ve not said how old your son is.

OPs son is 4, see message at 28/02/2019 13:54.

Ah, so she did. My apologies.