Financial Hearing. Really confused - do I have to attend court?

[namechangedforthisqu]

After a very long time I’m trying to sort out the financial side of my divorce which has proved impossible so far thanks to my ex who was emotionally and then physically abusive and who is now trying to make things as difficult as possible. He now claims he can’t get the Form E done in time and has applied for the FDA to be adjourned. What I can’t work out is if I have to be there for the hearing. Apparently he will have a barrister representing him as he works abroad, but he will be available by phone. I’m representing myself, and I am really struggling. I literally haven’t a clue what I’m doing. (Please don’t shout at me. I’m finding this all incredibly hard, so if it’s glaringly obvious I apologise.)

Yes you have to attend. Looks like it is to hear his application to adjourn the hearing. You should take with you details of lost earnings and travel costs and ask that he be ordered to reimburse you.

If you don't have a lawyer to ask, I think the best thing to do would be to call the particular court which is mentioned in your letter and ask them if it's a hearing you need to be present for. Good luck with it all. I hope you receive the outcome you're hoping for.

I've since spoken to the PSU (personal support unit) at the court who have said that yes, I have to attend. They have said that if they have someone free they will accompany me which is a bit of a relief, but even so it's pretty terrifying. What's difficult is that my ex is an expert in gaslighting and emotional abuse and in making himself seem smoothly charming and reasonable. His statement of issues manages to make it sound as if it's my fault that I said no to his delivering the form E a week before the first hearing (three weeks late) because there was no way I could go through all his paperwork in that time. Thank you for the tip about lost earnings, Collaborate - that's helpful.

The horrible thing is that he's such an expert gaslighter that I feel as if he's just going to use the same charm that he used to persuade a policeman that he was "a very sorry for himself young man and that he'd like to come home" after he'd attacked me, smashed up my computer, and spat at me in front of the children.