Ex Boyfriend

[MummyTaylor97]

Hello I put a post on yesterday about my ex boyfriend too. There has been domestic violence involved since my son was little, I left him and we tried mediation since. He's now tried mediation since, I have since messaged and asked if there's any chance he can sign my sons passport as I have booked a holiday for his 3rd birthday. He's refusing, what can I do about this?

Um, what does it matter which airport? I travel alone a lot with the dc internationally. Have been asked for permission a handful of times, but that was the only time I was stopped from travelling (every other time I had the letter, but can't say if it would have been required. Other times the officials were satisfied with birth certs).

I am British. So are the dc and DH. And no, it's not only British law that matters if you are travelling ABROAD.

I don’t believe any British person has been prevented from flying from the UK or entering the UK on these grounds.

Simple.

So I’ll leave you all now

My DD was held up at immigration going back into UK, aged 16, as we hadn’t given her a letter of consent to fly with family friends. She was asked to prove she hadn’t been to Syria (she’d been on a walking holiday in Turkey with the family) and the immigration officer gave her a really hard time. He refused to contact DH who was waiting to meet her, or to talk to the family she was with. She was held up for nearly three hours and was very distressed by the whole thing. Slightly different, I know, but who is to say that she wasn’t traveling with a parent who had remarried and had a different surname? The airline confirmed that they were happy for her to travel without a parent or consent letter at 16. We hadn’t bargained for a jobsworth immigration officer refusing to land a British Citizen (which I think is illegal).

@Mmmmbrekkie I’m just going to mention this once, and not for your benefit as you obviously know it all, but it’s not the responsibility of sodding BA to make sure that you have the right to clear immigration at both departing and arriving airports. Why the hell you’re contacting them to check if they’ll allow you on the flight is beyond me.

I have to get a letter signed from my ex every time I take my son abroad as he has his fathers surname. Going to get the residency order thing soon hopefully and then I won't need ex's permission. Have been asked for the letter every time we travelled, each way.

What Am I supposed to do in my situation where he is point blank refusing to give any permission and I Can't afford to get a residency order as I'm on benefits due to having a little one and no support to go back to work. He hasn't seen our son in over 17 months

If you are on benefits you are likely to be eligible for reduced court fees - indeed, you may not have to pay court fees at all. You can represent yourself for this - it should be straightforward.

In any event, we are talking about the UK law

We are, but this also relates to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, which is why some parents are refused entry at their destination if they cannot show they are complying with the relevant UK law.

I am a single parent, so it’s in my interest I know!

So you might want to listen to the lawyers and others on this thread who are telling you what the law says. You might also want to listen to what the government says on the subject (see the link I posted).

@Mmmmbrekkie I was asked for proof that my ExH had provided permission for me to take DD to Florida at border control in Gatwick. Virgin had already checked me in etc. Fortunately I had my signed letter ( on the advice of @prh47bridge and @Collaborate ) and we were allowed to travel. I was again asked at immigration in Orlando. Who knows why we were picked maybe because I had allowed our passports to lapse and then renewed and travel relatively quickly.
Thank goodness I listened to the advice here otherwise our holiday would have been ruined.

I would just like to see ONE example where a single parent with parental responsibility travelling abroad with children has been prevented from travelling because they don’t have written permission

I didn't have my ex's permission to travel abroad with my DD. I was queried about different surname to DC at a Spanish aiport...I handed over her birth cert, they had a look and never mentioned exes name, just waved me on. I've never heard of anyone not being allowed to travel.

The law on this is very clear, it's a pain in the ass, but it's clear.

I've never been asked, but DD (same surname) has been questioned both on arrival in the USA, departing USA and most times on returning to UK, I wouldn't risk the potential delays (missing transfers or excess parking charges) or the possibility of ExH being contacted.

It's only a couple of hundred quid to apply for a specific issue order and you can represent yourself if you can't afford to pay for a solicitor. I did pay for a solicitor but really I didn't need to as it was such a straightforward issue.

This is the LEGAL forum, so prh47bridge and collaborate have kindly provided the legal requirements. If you want to discuss anecdotes about whether you should/shouldn't bother to get written permission, there are other forums where people will be happy to offer advice and horror stories. If you want the legal position, you have it

Well my 'anecdote' is relevant given that I have been in an identical situation. And it also mirrors the legal advice given by @prh47bridge

I've always been asked
Upon return to England to provide
North certificate. As I never changed name. I asked once how come
I never get asked anywhere else and they said it's up to the country point of entry. However they only want birth certificate noting else

*birth

So what happens if your not in touch with your Ex who has PR and is unaware of where he is?

What happens when the DF walls out on their kids never to see them again and leaves mum to bring them up? Why the hell should she need his consent to take his kids away when he can't be bothered to be in their life full stop?

So what happens if your not in touch with your Ex who has PR and is unaware of where he is

If you can show that you have taken all reasonable steps to communicate with your ex but have been unable to do so you are ok. However, to be safe you should get a Child Arrangements Order stating that the child lives with you. That allows you to take your child out of the country for up to one month without needing your ex's consent.

Why the hell should she need his consent to take his kids away when he can't be bothered to be in their life full stop

I'm afraid that is the law. It is designed to stop one parent skipping the country with their child in order to cut the other parent out of their child's life.