threats to discredit me and lose me my job

[abitworriedbythreats]

I've been very foolish, and recently got out of what I do understand was an abusive relationship.

When it ended (very badly) I got drunk and sent some truly horrible texts. I am not proud of this, and nothing defends it.

Now this man has sent me a message saying that,, if I talk about anything he has done him with my friends, or tell anybody what he has happened, he will send my boss these texts. I work in a school, and am so ashamed of myself.

Is he doing anything illegal? I suspect this is an empty threat, but can't help worrying.

Hi
I guess it depends on whether what you put in the text messages was illegal?? Also how would he send them to your boss - does he have his contact details??
Assuming it was nothing illegal a decent boss even if he did get sent something would see it for what it is - Someone being Malicious and trying to sabotage your life x

What kind of messages did you send? We’re you threatening violence/claiming you will carry out an illegal activity?

If it was just horrible in the sense of a relationship breakdown (criticising his sexual prowess or something) then he’s threatening harassment. Well, he’s threatening that anyway really by saying he’d show your workplace and not the police.

I very much doubt the school would dismiss you on the basis of texts you have sent to someone else. Unless the texts were in some way relevant to your work, it would be unfair dismissal. Don't let him bully you. And report his message to the police.

Thank you for replying! There was certainly nothing illegal or threatening in the texts I sent him, they were just unnecessarily bitter and undignified, and would make me look very stupid (not least for being involved with him in the first place).

Should I really report this to the police??

Yes, take away all of his power over you. And block him.

Probably, he would claim that the texts I sent him also constitute harassment? I know that he will make trouble for me if he can. I'm tempted mostly just to walk away now, and assume that he is just making empty threats.

Tell your boss. Be honest with them that he is threatening you then tell him your boss is fully aware and if he contacts you again you will seek police advice.

He is a controlling prick.

So he was abusive. You left and sent some texts that you regret. He’s now saying you can’t discuss that abuse with anyone or he’ll send the texts to your boss?

Sounds like he’s admitted the abuse in writing. I’d ask the police to have a quiet word with him.

Ignore him. Block him. Take away his power entirely by forgetting about him and putting him in the past. Well done for getting out & recognising he was abusive.

The easiest solution is to tell your head teacher ASAP. Any threats then immediately lose their power.

You should also screenshot your ex’s threats for when you report him to the police for harassment.