Emergency legal advice what do I need to do?

[Olieoca]

Brief background, verbal child arrangement order for a number of years. Collapsed a few months back due to ex’s life imploding.

He has a new partner who is a drug addict and has had her own children removed from her. I have evidence he is also now in the throes of a prescription drug addiction. He hasn’t been to work for weeks.

I have stopped contact with him as he wouldn’t agree to seeing DD at his mothers away from this woman who SS have advised me should not be around DD without safeguarding checks.

Today his mother had DD and handed her over to ex and his partner for the day.

I have now collected DD from his mother who refuses to believe anything is wrong with her son.

I initiated mediation last week and he has his appointment with them this week. I think it has now gone beyond mediation as there have been more disclosures about his drug use etc.

Should I see a solicitor in the morning? Contact SS again? Or just leave things be and tell the mediator I won’t be mediating and if he wants to see DD he will have to make an application to the court?

My head is spinning

I would suspend contact, perhaps offer indirect.

I would go to meditation to discuss it, and communicate with a referee present and someone to document the conversation with a hope of discuss his drug use and his gfs.

I would not make any moves to court, let him do that. Social services will say if he is not having contact with your child that he is not a threat and they won't get involved.

I would tell the school about his drug use and ask them if they've noticed any change in your child, perhaps request a councillor to discuss if and how it has affected DC.

Then it will be down to him to take you to court, where he can be ordered to do a drug test and to look into his living arrangements and supervised contact.

Make notes and gather all evidence about the agreement you had with grandmother about supervision. If it goes to court you will need it to evidence that she went against your agreement.

Contact has been suspended for 4 weeks, yesterday was the first chance he had to see her and he went against my wishes and took her from his DM and out with his partner.

I don’t see how we can mediate when he is adamant he will do what he wants. I started the mediation process so if I stop now does that mean he will be given the court form? Or does he have to start his own process?

Thank you for your reply

You must attend mediation before applying to court unless there is domestic abuse or he or you refuse. If you refuse this will not look favourably on you.
I would go, get the evidence from it and open dialogue. No one else will be allowed to be there, so you will get his opinion, not his mothers and gfs.

Keep it child focused in there, its about DC safety, relationship and emotional security not her relationship with a woman who is unfit to be a mother to her own. Make it clear that he has to prove she is safe now and that he is clean.

What he says in the best of the moment will be completely different when supervised and minuted/ documented by a referee without his gf and mother egging him on. It is important to talk to him.

Heat of*

So you think attend mediation and then go from there? Although I don’t have anything to actually take him to court for. If he wants to see DD it would need to be him taking me to court which I doubt very much would ever happen.

Thanks again

Attend the mediation, as others have said this is the first steps but be absolutely clear during that what you will and will not compromise on. I would also let your social worker know so that they're kept in the loop that you're having these difficulties. Parenting capabilities and access is fundamentally underpinned by the ability to keep the child safe, if you are not convinced of his ability to do this and that's your reason for stopping contact then you have a strong case to argue

Family solicitor here.

Mediation is not compulsory and it sounds pointless in your case. If you want to make an application then you do generally have to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting ( MIAM) but that is it. If you tell the mediator it's not for you you will get your form.

Mediation is not a means of collecting evidence! What happens in mediation is confidential and privileged, so the court is not allowed to know about any of it.

Go see a solicitor OP and sit tight.

Thank you for your replies.

I have spoken with social services today and they have advised against mediation or ongoing contact until CAFCASS have investigated. I spoke to the mediator who decided that mediation would not work in our case and she is posting the court form out to me.

I presume the next move will be a child arrangements order and fact finding etc? Luckily I have been provided with evidence of his drug use athough he is denying this and saying I have fabricated it.

I have also blocked him on my phone although he is capable of emailing me. I’m not sure this is the right thing to do as it will look like I am blocking him from speaking to DD?

I’ve had numerous messages today from him and his mother about how ridiculous I am being. He isn’t a danger to DD and that I am making a mountain out of a fabricated molehill. So I’ve blocked them both!