Should I go to court? Should I change my solicitor?

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Currently in mediation and the issue is not being resolved. My ex husband seems to be using mediation as a way to bully/ridicule me in front of the mediator and skirt around the actual issues. I have seen my solicitor twice at a very high cost and I have come away feeling rather deflated each time.

She has given me suggestions for mediation but I think these are pretty weak - for example, giving him a written document so the information in front of him is clear. I understand her approach but my ex is a controlling narcissist who is well aware of what he is doing. He has had all the information in front of him for years. My solicitor has told me if I go to court I don't have a great chance and I should try to reach a solution at mediation.

Given that my ex husband is a very controlling person I really do not see a solution in mediation. He has thrown many false accusations and lies at me during our sessions and seems more intent on making me look bad. I feel stuck as to what to do next because it seems my only chance is taking him to court to resolve these issues, which I can't seem him ever agreeing to.

My questions are: should I change my solicitor. I feel I need someone more aggressive/assertive with better advice. She has many years of experience but not in the matter I am dealing with it seems.

She has said my chances at court are not wonderful (50%) and I should try to settle in mediation. Given that my ex will not budge and given the advice from my solicitor should I go to court in any case?

I would look for a different solicitor for further advice. Is it money where there is a difference of opinion? Which areas are subject to disagreement? You could ask for further guidance on what you want and whether it’s achievable in court. If you need to amend your requests, then be guided.

If ExDH is throwing allegations about, courts don’t like that. They want facts. Try and find a solicitor with a good barrister contact to help you. Often exDHs are more amenable when counsel is on the scene.

Is their another solicitor in the firm who is more adversarial. Initially I had a solicitor who was less adversarial, however, when it became clear that that was not going to work in my case the firm switched me to a more adversarial solicitor. He was very experienced with emotionally abusive men and was very much on my side.

Thank you BubblesBuddy I was told my best outcome was achievable in court although only at 50%. Thank you for confirming. I think the fact he is insulting me in mediation is because he knows if it went to court he would ultimately lose case. However, court will cost so much and I barely have the money.

Thanks Lonecatwithkitten My solicitor is one of the partners. I think the only other solicitor is the other partner with less experience. I have spoken to another solicitor who seemed more determined so would probably swap to her. Sounds like I need someone like your solicitor!

Your firm seems too small with a lack of choice and experience. Go to a larger one with a track record of dealing with difficult men!

Also barristers don’t have to be expensive. Some recently qualified ones can be excellent and not that expensive in the overall scheme of things. Again a larger firm of specialist solicitors will have options for you. I think a frank discussion about what your likely/realistic outcome will be is vital and how to tackle your exDH needs another strategy. Also amend your requirements if everyone says it’s not winnable. Getting an amended wish list is better than nothing.

Good luck.