Self reply to solicitor letter from Partner’s Ex?

[NoDanger]

I’m looking for advice about replying ourselves to a frivolous solicitor’s letter from my partber’s ex.

A little background:

My partner has a four year old son from a previous relationship which was over before the child was born. The child’s mother seems he’ll bent on making life difficult for my partner and sends ten paragraph WhatsApp messages suggesting all the ways in which he is a bad father every time we have the wee boy over with us.
Since he and I got together this behaviour really ramped up and since she found out I was pregnant last year even more so, she has systematically cut back contact and we now only have him during the days every other weekend.
We wanted to get the situation settled before our DD was born four months ago and so offered to cover the costs of mediation which she refused.
We have now received a solicitor’s letter from her claiming that my partner is abusive towards her and a whole host of other nonsense such as that he fails to give the boy medication and that he becomes distressed when he stays with us. It then seeks to formalise the current arrangement for contact. The wee fella has a great time when he’s with us and absolutely adores his little sister who is his only sibling so it seems a dreadful shame to allow his time here to be cut so short.

That said, we have a four month old, I’m only on statutory mat pay and we’re trying to buy a new home so we’re not in a position to spend a fortune going back and forth with solicitor’s letters before anything else has been tried. Is it a bad idea for my partner to reply himself and say as much?

I was thinking something along the lines of:

I received your letter dated xx on behalf of your client xx the claims contained within which I found to be entirety inaccurate and without merit.
As I have previously extended the offer to cover the costs of mediation to resolve the issues between xx and myself I am not prepared to enter into a legal dispute until such time as this option has been fully explored.
I consider this correspondence closed,
Regards

Any feedback is greatly appreciated as we just want a peaceful life where our daughter and her brother get to enjoy time together as well as with their father

Looks perfect. I'd put the date of when the mediation offer was made and perhaps include that correspondence in the reply.

It’s a bit combative and emotive (understandably), remember you’re trying to de-escalate the situation not make it worse.

I’d change ‘entirely inaccurate and without merit’ to ‘without merit’ and i’d change ‘not prepared to enter’ to ‘will not be entering’ - the second point alters the language from your feelings about the situation to a factual statement, which is much harder to argue with. It’s the difference between ‘I don’t want to’ and ‘this won’t be happening’ if that makes sense.

Finally I’d take a leaf from The Art of War and build her a golden bridge to retreat over —allow her to climb back in her box unaided—, instead of ‘I consider this closed’, id go with ‘please agree to attend mediation (under the original financial agreement) to discuss the matter further; in the absence of agreement to this I consider the correspondence closed’ - you’re putting the ball in her court formally, disallowing her to come back with anything other than a request for mediation and setting out the limitations of contact.

Controlling the discourse is more important right now than flaming up tempers :)

Good advice from 'Norrisskipjack'!