Divorce..money issues advice

[Los77]

Hello
I found out recently that my husband was having an affair. I have no proof that it was a full blown affair but it was definitely an emotional affair, i've seen the texts. He has lied saying its over but he was still texting her 'as friends' and now he wants me to forget and forgive and give the relationship another go. He has said that he no longer finds me sexually attractive but will try and work on our relationship.
I have spoken to lots of people who think the marriage is dead...I need advice where I stand with regards to a divorce/separation financially.
We have a son who is 9 and if we separate he will be living with me and my husband is happy with that. We have a house together. I earn much more than him. He has a bit of debts (credit card loan and car) and I do not have much other than a small credit card.
Where do I stand with regards to the house / child maintenance etc if we separate. As it stands he doesn't want a divorce.
Thank you.

You need to see a solicitor to get proper advice. All anyone can say on here is that you will be entitled to a fair slice of the assets and you will be entitled to child maintenance. His affair (emotional or otherwise) is not relevant to the financial settlement.

I would not want to unsettle my son and would like to keep him in the same house/school etc but I cant afford to pay the mortgage on my own, although I've always paid more than him towards the mortgage/bills as I earn more.

Checkout the CSA to work out maintenance. It natural not to want to move house or schools but it may have to happen: the startpoint for the split of your equity/assets wil be 50:50 although this will be discussed and explored by you in mediation. Get legal advice asap, solicitor’s fees are pretty unavoidable in divorces with children and assets.

the startpoint for the split of your equity/assets wil be 50:50

The assets will be split fairly. That is not necessarily 50/50. There are a range of factors taken into account in determining what a fair split looks like.

I have spoken to lots of people who think the marriage is dead.

Surely this your decision, not other people's?

It's really hard making a decision. I want to believe theres a way out of this where we work things out, not just for DS but for me too as we've been together since I can remember but then I think again and think it's all over isn't it?

OP, if you aren't sure the marriage is done, then you need to think about relationship counselling. That may give you a way forward, or it may help you to decide you want out.

And you should also see a solicitor for advice on the likely outcome if you split. That may affect your decision. Or it may not.

Agree with MrsBertBibby. There may be a way forward for your marriage if he really wants to work on it and has genuinely given up the other woman. But if he wants to keep her "as a friend" that should be a red flag in my view. And, whatever you decide, you should get advice so that you know where you stand if it doesn't work out.