Contact Centre stopped contact

[mommabear007]

I'll try to keep this short and simple.

Dd and ds were having supported contact with their grandparent at a contact centre once a fortnight ordered by the court, but I received a letter saying that the contact centre themselves have stopped contact due to several reasons such as the grandparent was only paying attention to dd and ds would end up wandering off to play elsewhere, bad mouthing about myself in front of the staff members and my children, teasing dd with a toy to the point she was in tears because they wouldn't give her back the toy and whenever staff would try to tell grandparent about said issues they were met with abuse and arguments from grandparent.

Because of this they have stopped all future contacts at their centre.

We've tried mediation to see if there was a way to resolve our issues for the kids but it didn't go well as grandparent wouldn't let me get a word in, dismissed me if I had a different opinion from them and now they blame me for contact stopping.

We have court next month to discuss the issues, but I really don't know what to expect.

Has anything like this happened to anyone else before?

Do you actually want contact to continue?

I'm not really sure, I want what's best for my children but I'm not sure if it's in their best interests if contact does continue or not.

It doesn’t sound like contact is particularly beneficial for them.

I agree - it's sounds like you've bern mote than reasonable in facilitating the relationship so far, but it sounds like it's doing your children more harm than good now.

If the contact center staff were so concerned about the gp’s conduct during contact that they stopped facilitating it, this is a very clear indication that this relationship is not in the interests of your children. I am not sure how you can be considered to be stopping contact when the cc has made that call. I don’t think I would want my children exposed to this type of behaviour.

Do the CC get their views heard in court?

In legal cases it is essential to build a paper trail. I would ask the cc to put everything in writing to you by letter or email.
And then submit that via your lawyer to court.

I would stop pushing for contact. It's highly unlikely that court will rule in their favour given what happened at the contract centre.

You have a letter from the contact centre explaining their reasons for stopping contact. Clearly they dont feel contact was in the interests of your children.

You dont mention how old they are and if they are old enough to express a view themselves.

The court is unlikely to enforce an order for contact if the contact centre feel it is not in the children's interests.

I want what's best for my children but I'm not sure if it's in their best interests if contact does continue or not.

From what you have described, why would you want such nasty people to have contact?

I’d ask for contact to be stopped; what the contact centre describe is not in any child’s best interests and I don’t really understand why you’re not sure when there’s clear evidence of them causing emotional distress to your children.
Also if the contact centre are saying they are stopping it for those reasons then that’s very clear evidence for the courts. Knowing they acted like that in front of someone shows that you couldn’t risk them on their own with their grandparents.
Are you worried about the fallout from it?

Contact was supervised for a reason. If they behave like the centre reported there is nowhere else for contact to go. A judge is highly likely to think that the grandparents have blown it, and that direct contact should cease.

Thank you all for getting back to me.

My children are 2 and 3 years old.

The reason I'm not sure is because I don't know if the court would stop contact all together or if they would just move it to supervised.

Isn't it already supervised? Since the contact centre aw what was going on and reacted to it?

They fell at the first hurdle. Why would they get supervised contact when they have showed the contact centre their true colours?
Seriously fight to keep them away from your dc.

For god sake! They are of no benefit to your dc whatsoever!

End the contact ASAP, they are abusive and will harm your children both physically and mentally if they are allowed unsupervised contact

Your children need you to protect them,

For a contact centre to end this contact arrangement it has to be utterly awful and beyond their skill set to manage.

Wake up call here!

Was it supported contact rather than supervised?
Either way I think the Gp are on dodgy grounds.
Have the contact centre put their concerns in writing?

Hi all, id like to thank all of you for reading my question and taking the time to answer, I appreciate it all.

Just an update on what's happened

An emergency court hearing was held Monday, organised by grandparent and their lawyer. When speaking to my lawyer about stopping contact they said that because the contact centre recommended supervised visit, that will be the most likely outcome. During the hearing the judge read through the report that the contact centre wrote up about grandparent and how they behaved, grandparent lied and said that non of it was true and was all taken out of context, then complained about me being in the waiting room of the contact centre because my children come in to visit me. I tried to explain that they do that because they're either upset over something that's happened or just need reassurance that I'm still there then they'll go back out to play with grandparent but grandparent denied all of this and says I'm a problem and blocking them from having a relationship with the children. The judge said for now I'm still allowed to be in the waiting room and contact will start again this time supervised and another report will be written in 3 months . So now I'm worried that it'll come to being that I'll end up being ordered to drop my children at the contact centre then wander the streets for 2 hours in an area I'm not familiar with.

If there is a supervisor then they should be able to provide more detailed notes of what is happening during contact. If DCs are initiating contact with you by coming to find you then that isn't your fault. Do you have your own lawyer? The grandparent sounds shit and would clearly rather blame you than their own behaviour. They will find this a lot harder when they have a supervisor there to.

As much as it hurts do what the courts say, by the book, don’t try anything else

All contact centres are supervised so your interactions, whether at a door will have been noted for court