Does a child need both parents consent for a counsellor?

[nothanksmate]

What if a child needs a counsellor but doesn't want one parent to know? To be more specific, the child doesn't want his Mum to know.

Age of the child?

12

I had a counsellor at 12..neither parents knew... Still don't 25 yrs later.

Anyone?

I’d be surprised if they needed either parent’s consent at 12.

Surely it’s like any medical treatment - if one parent organises they don’t check with/mention it to the other parent? DSD’s mum told DH (with DSD’s permission) that she is having counselling, but we never would have found out if DSD hadn’t wanted us to know.

If through school, no consent is sought.

No consent required from 12 onwards

Counselling isn’t medical so it’s not the same. Different counsellors/agencies will have different rules on the consent required.

What a relief that is to read, thank you.

And if the DM was to find out what can she demand to know? She would see this as something against her and not for the sake of DSS.

Again it will depend on the counsellor/agency and what they are willing to disclose. All of this should be made clear to you before any work commences. I would strongly recommend advising them of the circumstances as it sounds like it has potential to be very upsetting for the child.

The counsellor and DSS have already met, had a few chats and they get on really well and DSS is happy to met the counsellor here but we know as soon as Mum finds out she will want it at her house.
The counsellor confirmed today that there is no intentions to speak with Mum at all. She is the cause of the problems.

Interesting. This has not been my recent experience at all (ie during last year for a very similar age child). My ex and his partner blocked our DC seeing a counselor, facilitated through school. The counselor would only proceed if both parents agreed. So that was that. Both the counselor and the school were prepared to see a child not receive help rather than deal with a bully.

Whereas the medical professional who treated my DC without my knowledge (and therefore my consent) was perfectly OK with the fact that I had no knowledge about it until afterwards.

The law in the UK really needs to be enforced to deal with this type of situation. Haircut fine, new school clothing fine, medical treatment - not fine (clearly unless emergency)

Sorry I should have mentioned, it's not through school.

I dont think that matters whether it is through school or not. Some things are trivial and one parent can deal with it; others are more important. If my child is having any form of medical intervention (and counseling is mental health) I want to know. FULL STOP. Nothing more to say.

Please dont be that parent who decides unilaterally that your views are more important than the other parent. That is poor parenting.

My ds had counselling in y7 (age 11) and they had my consent (I'm mum) and they didn't pursue consent from Dad even though he has Parental Responsibility and they had his contact details.

Gilick competency may also apply depending on the service the counsellor works in.

My DC had counselling (not through school) and ex found out about it (DC must have mentioned it) and he called the organisation and "denied consent". The organisation policy was to cease counselling if one parent objected. Through the family court process I was able to get it reinstated, but it took 8 months. My child was younger.

I would expect if your DC is determined that mum doesn't know, it might go under the radar. But it might be worth asking the organisation (perhaps ask a friend to call so it isn't linked to you) what their policy is if one parent objects.

I believe both parents should know in a normal world but Mum is causing stress and mentally abusing DSS, he won't talk to anyone at school as they always call Mum which makes things worse for him with her.

I think the views of DSS are more important than what Mum wants. This is important for DSS and he's 12, he can't be expected to mentally deal with what's happening on his own. He needs a third person to offload on and hopefully learn how to deal with it, not just now but in the future too.

My DD was 8 when she first saw a counsellor as her choice, everything was confidential between her and the counsellor unless there were safeguarding issues - which there were. These were about Dad ( who would of objected to counselling) without it DD would not have been protected.