Would it be adultery?

[sarahl2691]

My husband and I are currently going through a divorce. We are going down the 2 years separation route. We are almost half way through and things are amicable between us as we have a son together. I have met someone I am interested in dating but worried will this effect the divorce? Could this be used against me even if it didn’t start while we were together? Is this ok to do or should I hold out until the legal side is sorted?

Your separated anyway so why does it matter?

Yes technically it could be adultery. Your ex would be advised not to go down that route unless you agreed to it as if you didn’t, he would have to prove it. If you agreed it’s unlikely to have any impact on the financial settlement.

It makes no difference whatsoever to financial settlements.
If things are amicable it would be polite thing to tell your ex.

Legally it can't be used against you.
Emotionally? Whole 'nother ballgame.

A 2 year separation with consent is the best and least contentious way of getting the divorce. And yes, it would be adultery but not really relevant. I wouldn't tell him though.

Why wait two years and just use unreasonable behaviour and cite the new relationship amongst other things i.e. that you've lived separate lives for a year. It's a legal box ticking exercise at the end of the day, not a school report

Yes, but only on a technicality.

wobytide Op cannot use her own adultery as grounds for divorce, nor can she petition on grounds of separation for a year.

The husband could take charge of the divorce and speed it up by petitioning for adultery. He might also be a bit cross.

It sounds like the petition has been issued already on 2 years separation with consent though so I doubt the husband would try to get that changed.

In some religions that would also be a sin ( adultery) but that is not usually uppermost in people's minds these days - extramarital sex, mortal sins, sex outside wedlock etc.

Have you got a record (emails or whatever) of the fact that you both agreed to the 2 year separation route?

I would be careful because you may find that whilst your h is amicable whilst no one else is on the scene, this could change drastically if someone else is on the scene. Even if your h has given consent, he may have an emotional response that he didn’t anticipate. This applies regardless of who initiated the divorce and why. Is your h seeing someone else?

To OP

Your ex might change his views if another person appears on the scene. Look at what happened in the Owens case.

The Wife and Husband had lived apart for 2 years and Wife has new partner. The Husband objected to her petition on grounds of unreasonable behaviour and so she had to provide evidence. She was unable to do so and the Courts rejected her application all be it recorded in the Judgement they were uneasy with the decision, but it was the correct application of the law taking into the circumstances.

So now she has to wait till 5 years have passed before the Divorce happens. Why exactly the husband objected is not clear, but I would not be surprised if it was his dislike of another person appearing on the scene?

Be careful