Father not paying maintanance

[Tills85]

Sadly, I think I know the answer to the question I am about to ask, but I just want to know anyone has been in a similar situation & how you dealt with it / sorted it? Is there ANYTHING I that can be done? My DS is in primary school, I have been bringing him up on my own since he was few months old. His dad sees him twice a week and that is when his responsibility ends, which is fine by me, it is his choice not to have him / see him more than that. His dad is let’s say very work shy and always struggled to keep a job. Even when he had one The contributions he was making weren’t more than £20 per week, which again is not amazing but fine, by law and according to his earnings that is all he had to pay. Few months ago, he decided he didn’t like working, was tired and stressed and quit. So for few months I have not seen a penny from him. I work long full time hours therefore I am not entitled to benefits. I also pay for my DS’s childcare before and after school. Few people suggested I should cancel the school clubs, save money that way and let my ex take DS to and from school now he is not working but unfortunately his father is not responsible enough to that. We had this arrangement in the past and due to his poor time keeping I was late for work on many occasions.

My ex is a healthy young man in his early 30’s and lives with his mother who is more than happy to provide for him. I know for a fact he is still going out, smokes, manages to keep his car and his mobile phone. He walked from his job therefore is not entitled to benefits.

Is there really nothing that can be done in this situation?

thanks

There is little you can do. Just as there would be little you could do to make him work if you were still together.

There is actually nothing you can do about this.

This is one of those situations where you need to change your thinking as you cannot change it, leave it or live with it as is.

Make peace with the fact he is a lazy arse, and concentrate on doing the best you can for you and your son.

Its just crazy that the law in this country is so crap when it comes to this. It should not be ok for a young healthy man to nit pay for his child just because he doesnt like it. The law in other countries is so much tougher. People go to proson for it ir in cases like this maintanance is collected from grandparents. His mother is funding his lifestyle, and just because it is not an official income from a work place it shouldnt matter. He has an income, he can afford to drink, smoke, go out...

Its unfair and immoral but sadly not illegal. You can only hope that your ex will grow up one day and realise that he has been financially abusive and step up. My daughter receives £13 a week from her childs father who this year has managed holidays in Japan and Russia from the bank of his mum and dad. There is nothing that can be done but that doesn't stop me from feeling anger on my daughter's behalf.

In cases like this it is my view arrears should accrue that NRP has to pay when they resume work or become eligible for benefits. However, if the bank of mother is in good health, has pension, savings, assets, etc., that may never happen?

Bank of his mother is healthy. She has income that is enough for both of them and whats worse is that she is happy to do it because that way she's got him there with her