Changing surname

[Whataknobhead]

I have 2 children with my ex. The children were given my surname at birth, I wanted to have the same name as them. My ex has asked before in the past about double barrelling their surname which I have no objection to but he didn't progress with putting anything into action.

I am getting married this year and we're thinking about names. My partner has a child whose surname will be double barrelled taking both his and his ex partners name.

Ideally, I'd like to change my name to my partners name on marriage and have the children's surname changed to include my ex partners name and my new married name. But I doubt he would accept that. Has anyone done this before? Trying to think of best way to approach.

If he's dead against it then myself and my partner would both double barrel our names to include mine and his surname as a last resort. I expect my ex to wait for this to happen and then request his name be added to their surname so my maiden name is maintained in their surname with his added.

The court is unlikely to be persuaded by your reasoning.

You need yourcexs permission to do it.

As pp as said, if he says no I very much doubt a court would agree to the change.

It sounds very messy to me not trying to rain on your parade but what happens if you have any new husbands or wives after this? The poor kids will have form filling nightmares forever. Simplest solution leave it as they are until your ex brings it up again and then change it to yours and his only.

I understand why you feel the way you do, and agree with the others. It’s highly unlikely a court would agree to give your children another man’s name.

Courts are generally reluctant to change children’s names. Your ex could potentially be successful if he applied on the basis that adding his name gives the children a further link to their paternal heritage, and that you’d previously agreed.

I suppose it’s worth asking your ex whether he would agree to what you want. He may agree on the basis he gets his name added too. It is seriously worth considering what happens if you separate from your new husband however. My personal opinion is that your children having links to you (by your maiden name) and your ex is the most sensible.

I'd stick to adding your married name to your existing name in a double barrelled name, therefore you share a name with both your new H and your dcs because I highly doubt that the court will grant your request over their fathers objection.

I highly doubt your ex would agree to this. My son took my name at birth as I left his dad when pregnant and it didn’t feel right to give him his name. DD has my other half’s name. If we get married in the future, I would have the same name as my husband and daughter but not my son. 😰

The only plus side is that he will have my maiden name, not my ex’s. We have all considered changing to my surname as OH doesn’t really have any loyalty to his surname (not seen his dad in 20 years) but that would been changing everything of DD’s, which might be a faff!! 🤔

I have my mothers maiden name. She is married, changed name and same name as her husband my younger siblings. It didn’t really bother me that I had a different surname 😊

Have you considered having a double barrelled name yourself? So you still partly have your child’s name! Your husband can just keep his name as it is?

Modern day families aye. My D.C. will be going school with different surnames.

I suggest you just keep your own name. Any future DC can be double barrelled if you want then to have the names of both parents.

Ideally, I'd like to change my name to my partners name on marriage

Why?

If we get married in the future, I would have the same name as my husband and daughter but not my son.

Not necessary to do this.

Have you considered having a double barrelled name yourself? So you still partly have your child’s name! Your husband can just keep his name as it is?

Oh yes. Menfolk shouldn’t be expected to be inconvenienced at all by fripperies such as their identities. It only matters that the world knows who then women belong to.

I would suggest that you and your new DH each double barrel with each other's names.

Then double your DCs' names with your ex.
Then you will share a name with your kids, your ne DH and your kids will have a name in common with their new step dad too.
and your new step kids will have a name in common with you, and their new step siblings.

Everyone happy!

But I have issues with women ditching their own name and changing their names and their kids' names to men's names every time they get married.

Your children have your maioden name now. It would be a lot simpler if you keep that same maiden name and your children keep it too. However much you love husband number 2 I don't think at this life stage there is much to be gained by changing everyone's names over.