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Original poster

can a husband stop ex wife moving from scotland to wales

17 replies

jakurrpa · 03/01/2019 20:33

my daughters husband has just left her. he is in the military. we are all in wales. his mother lives in Scotland. My daughter will end up in homeless accommodation if she stays in Scotland. He is violent and abusive. He is now threatening to take my daughter to court if she try's to return to wales. He only wants the baby and not the older child and he wants to let his mother have the baby. he intends leaving the army and living with his mother. My daughter does not want to stop access but wants to go where she can receive family help

OP posts:

Collaborate · 03/01/2019 21:03

Most of the lawyers on here are practising in E&W and not Scotland, but assuming the law there is the same (and I’m 99.9% sure it is) she’d not be leaving the jurisdiction (which for abduction cases is removal from the UK) but the court does have the power to stop her changing a child’s school and can transfer residence.

Having said that, and subject to the caveat that I know next to nothing about the case, I’d say she should just move ASAP.

littlemeitslyn · 03/01/2019 21:08

My ex stopped me moving to Scotland from England

settmenu · 03/01/2019 21:10

Can you travel up and help her move with as much as you can fit in the car. Get her to Wales and then let it be fought over from there ?

Jon65 · 03/01/2019 21:16

Move, put the children in school in wales and then its up to him to apply for an order. If she has some evidence of the abuse it would be helpful as a court would be reluctant to give residence to a person who is violent and abusive and it might mean supervised contact only. Courts also like maintaining continuity for children, so in her shoes, i would just move. I guess she needs to get away from the area due to his abuse and fear he will continue if he shes stays local to him? I am not familiar with scottish law.

Notwiththeseknees · 03/01/2019 21:20

As he has left her and she is/will be homeless, surely it must be considered reasonable for her to move to a home and support. I second doing it sooner rather than later.
Perhaps she could 'apply for housing' from Wales and have a letter from the Scottish Councils Authority confirming they have nothing to offer her.

ChiaraRimini · 03/01/2019 21:38

Bring your daughter home to you with her kids.
Report him to his Commanding Officer and the police for his behaviour towards her.
He won't have a leg to stand on. The military take a dim view of this type of behaviour.

RandomMess · 03/01/2019 21:42

I honestly think she should go to a refuge where she will get protection and advice, I would also advise her to go to one in Wales...

Ozziewozzie · 03/01/2019 21:49

10 years ago I went through the court system with aggressive e ex. The court focus in child’s well being. They also take the view that if the mother is happy and supported, the children will be better off. They also apply this when deciding to grant permission to take kids abroad to live against fathers wishes. The father would have to demonstrate he can provide for kids better emotionally, in a nurturing way with NO signs of aggression to counteract this, but even so, the courts will favour mother if she has been main carer.

PersonaNonGarter · 03/01/2019 21:51

Yes, he can stop her. But, it takes a long time to get this through the courts. Move and deal with it - that’s the best chance. And try to raise the divorce proceedings outside Scotland as soon as possible.

westendgirlx · 03/01/2019 22:00

I moved from Scotland back to England as soon as I heard my ex wanted to stop me moving by asking the court for 50/50 access. By then I had her enrolled in a school in England, and I had found a house to rent.

I ended up in court, the sheriff (the name of a judge in Scotland) gave me hell for moving my daughter away from Scotland. I had only moved to Carlisle!

I insisted in court that my 11 year old had the right to have a say. Everyone was interviewed...me, him, his parents, the Scottish school, the English school, my daughter. In the end, my daughter stayed with me.

Not a fantastic experience, but in your circumstances you have very good reasons to move. I don't have family, but it still worked out in court.

MrsBertBibby · 04/01/2019 02:00

If you move the child out of one part of the UK without consent to another part, any proceedings issued within 12 months must be in the jurisdiction you left. So in this case Scottish courts would retain jurisdiction.

Has he put these plans in writing?

Original poster

jakurrpa · 04/01/2019 08:53

my daughter will go to army welfare on Monday. The youngest is not a year old so there is no question of schools and he doesn´t want the eldest child. what he wants is my daughter where he can have access to the baby every weekend and not to pay much in the way of maintenance, he has said he´ll pay 100 a month. his mother agrees that smacking a child is good but he was reported to social services by the school for hitting the eldest child. my daughter was ill and he had control. it is his mother who is behind all this. she has the money and the mouth. my daughter is frightened of losing her baby but is willing to leave her in order to protect her other child. I think this is wrong. as far as I'm concerned her husband and his mother are just bullies.
We are all willing to make room in wales but we are all squashed in ourselves so my daughter would have to go into temp accommodation here too. I think we need army welfare to help and then look for a good solicitor

OP posts:

RandomMess · 04/01/2019 08:58

Moving into a women's refuge is a clear sign to the courts that the relationship is abusive and it also means he will need to go to court for contact. I strongly recommend this because they are the experts in supporting women and DC in this situation.

It's probably best she stays in Scotland but ask the refuge, the DC should be under child protection or equivalent due to his violence toward the eldest.

PersonaNonGarter · 04/01/2019 09:02

Write a recorded delivery letter listing his abusive behaviour. Send it to him and keep a copy. Leave Scotland as soon as possible.

Mummyshark2018 · 04/01/2019 09:03

I agree that a women's refuge would prob be the best option. Given that social care have been involved regarding physical abuse allegations against child I would say that there is already documentation to his character.

MrsBertBibby · 04/01/2019 12:00

Send it to him and keep a copy.

Why?

Elephantscantfly · 05/01/2019 17:33

10 years ago I left Scotland with just my son and an overnight bag on the advice from my Scottish solicitor. I travelled to Wales & went straight to a Welsh solicitor and obtained a residency order the next day. The laws are different and had I stayed in Scotland and filed for divorce there I’d have had to stay there until it was finalised, which in my case took over 4 years. Instead I spent those 4 years bringing up our son in Wales with my family support network and our son is very happy here. My ex refused to agree to schooling in Wales but was threatened with court action by the La so had to agree. It’s been tough, not a decision taken lightly and financially and emotionally has taken its toll. He now has a fantastic relationship with our son, phone calls, FaceTime and regular visits but this has required a lot of work on both sides and is not always easy, especially as we both have new partners and step children. It’s a big decision but one I knew I had to do. We’d have been isolated and financially and emotionally under his control forever had we not left, our lives would have been totally different and I have no regrets. I wish your daughter well whatever she decides.

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