Power of Attorney - Can my sister be granted POA against my wishes.

[redshifter]

My DM has dementia.
I have just found out that my sister has applied for POA. I tried to get my DM to give me LPOA for years but she never would, she didn't understand the need.
The one thing she was adamant about though was that she never wanted my 2 sisters to have any say in her care or financial affairs. She had seen them a few times in 25 years and that was to borrow thousands of pound from her (which was never repaid)
I have just found out ( but I can't day how I found out) that my sister is going for POA.
Even 6 months ago when DM was not confused all the time and my sister kept harassing DM to give POA my DM was insistent that she would never do this.
DM was very private and secretive about her finances, she let me help her with them but make me promise not to tell my sister's anything.
A few months ago I found out that my sister had just gone online to Royal Mail website and arranged for all my DMs mail to be redirected to sisters address. Bank statements, pension statements everything. My DM was unaware of this.

Can my sister now get POA without me having a say in it?
Surely I should be contacted to be made aware of this.
I have no way of contacting my sisters.
They say that they have no way of contacting me but I know they do, they know where I live, where I work, where my DC live but they are saying they don't.

Is this legal?

You really need legal advice. Your mother will need to be assessed to determine her level of mental acuity. If she isn’t deemed capable of making decisions for herself and their is no indication of her wishes then she might become a ‘ward of the state’. Your sister can’t just act unilaterally.

You should contact the Office of the Public Guardian to let them know about your concerns.

www.gov.uk/report-concern-about-attorney-deputy

Thank you both for your advice.
I will look at OPG link.
It's complicated. A very long story.
I don't even no where my DM is.
I have both been bullied and isolated from each other.
Until a few weeks ago I thought my DM had been shipped off to Ireland by my sister's while I was away.
Turns out she had a bad fall and was in hospital for a month just round the corner from me and was then put into a nursing home. Broke my heart thinking of her in there wondering why I am not coming to see her. I was in Ireland searching for her.

It hurt even more over Xmas.
I have phoned social services and police no one will tell me anything.
Phoned care home after care home they all tell me that they are not allowed to say if she is in their home. Though most whispered "she's not here" ro me at end of call.
I only know about hospital and she is still in this country and now the POA from information given to me in confidence by a friend. Who coUlf lose their job if found out.
Don't know how to approach O of PG without betraying friends confidence.
I feel that as her child I should be contacted about this before it goes ahead to see if I have a case
I thought legally I had to be. Unless I couldn't be found.
Will go straight to Public Guardian link now anyway.
Thanks again

When my mum and sdad wanted me and DH to have their POA the person doing it wrote to both my brother and sdads daughter to tell them we were doing it and to ask if they had any objections.
So if that’s the norm then you should be contacted as well, however I think contacting the OPG is the right thing to do

She will have to be assessed as having capacity prior to someone being granted Power of Attorney- if she lacks capacity a Guardianship will be required which would require assessment and you should be contacted as part of this.

How can do the person doing it contact me if they don't know where I am? Will they properly search for me?
Public Guardian seems to say contact them if POA has already been granted and you syspect abuse of POA. If not granted yet to contact Social Services.

I have put in a couple of safeguarding requests with social services previously when DM was being pushed off to Ireland.
DM would ring me crying saying she didn't want to go.
Soc Serv didn't get back to me. Second time I kept on at them and they told me she has Mental capacity to decide whether to go to Ireland or not. I disagreed. Because I know what DM was like. I lived and looked after her on my own for the last 6 years. I knew she didn't understand.
She couldn't even remember who she was going to stay with in Ireland, forgot that she never liked the person's wife and that this person's wife had vowed years ago to make her life he'll if she ever got the chance.
Person she was meant to be staying with has spent half his life in prison for armed robbery and worse and has in the past conned and stolen money and property from close family.
Told all this to SS they just said "she has capacity" after a few minutes speaking to her. I cannot agree with this.
But there is more to this. I suspect incompetence and possibly corruption. Can't go into reasons why. But I honestly believe it could be the case.
Will try another solicitors again ASAP.

Phoned up several solicitors before. They all were only interested in setting up Wills or POAs.
When I explained the case they all said that they can't deal with it. I need a someone who specialises in this type of thing.
One told me to ring Law Society and they could give me details of solicitor who could do it.
Law society gave me 10 phone numbers of local solicitors. All of them I had already contacted and weren't interested.

Just feel stuck now.
So upset.

I think you should mention safeguarding and elder abuse.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this.
Do you have any independent corroboration of your mother's wishes?

Sorry X posted.
That sounds really shocking.

OP, if you know the name of her GP then maybe they can help.

Couldn't you employ a private detective to track her down? It might not take long.....

Never of a detective will look into it.

Sounds shocking, have you spoken to one of the age charities ?

My 2 sisters have barely spoken to my DM for the last 25 years. Except to get money from and borrow thousands and never pay it back. They both moved over a hundred miles away 10 years ago. They would come back to my DMs area to see their children 2 streets away from DM but wouldn't even pop in to see her for an hour. Myself and my DP and my DC were always in DMs life. Rang her several times a day, saw her nearly everyday, every Xmas with us, holidays with us, days out, meals out, My DCs birthdays, school events etc. Took DM to hospital appointments, only one to visit her in hospital etc.
I moved in with her 5 years ago. Was doing everthing. Shopping, cooking, washing, cleaning, organising and paying for new boiler washing machine, gardener etc.
I have a ft manual job. It was getting to much. Got professional carers in. Which I paid for even though she received attendance allowance. DM became very tight about mmoney. She wouldn't pay for anything. She was always a very difficult woman but getting worse. I only found out recently that my sister's were getting in touch with her by phone and putting things in her mind. Making her suspicious of me.
In hindsight I can see this was a reason DM was treating me in a certain way.
Both sisters had never worked a day in their lives. One sister had 7 children by her early 30s. When youngest was 12 she realised her benefits were going down.
Went to college to become a social worker.
When qualified she got a job in Newcastle (we are in London) and went there with her young boyfriend. She got £20,000 from council to give up her 5 bed council house and for relocation costs. Then bought a house outright in Newcastle. Her children were homeless. Most of them became thieves and heroin addicts, 2 with heroin addicted babies.
I found out sister been sending some of these children round while I was at work to get information and "get into" DM. These children had broken into DMs house and stolen from her in the past.
They intimidated her carers. I didn't realise this. But now know why it was hard to keep hold of the good carers that my mum liked.
They made my DM distrustful of carers and she was abusive to them.
When I was away for weekend in June my sister's came down a took over. Went through all my and my DMs personal paperwork bank details etc.
They had also stolen from me before so it was very worrying. I couldn't stay there any more as that was my home but I had people doing that. I moved out and said to DM that if she wanted to be with me she would have to move into a place with me that was in my name.
This played into sisters hands. They took over. Next time I went round all the locks had been changed and neighbours had been told to call the police if I came round.
They were isolating me and DM from each other.
Turns out that for years there had been A very clever campaign to make me look bad.
Accusations of abuse to SS, GP, bank etc.
I now see why hospitals and GP were acting strange with me and not telling me anything.
DM broke her hip. We were the only ones visiting her. I got her home ready for her and adapted and got equipment for when she got home. Hospital rang sister in Newcastle when DM was being discharged.
I was not informed. No one there when DM got home. I complained. Hospital said that sister had rang them to say not to tell me as I was abusive and neglectful and that sister was NOK. How could they do that with just a phone call ? Could have been anyone.
I know now that sister has history for this. Did same with her MIL when SIL was caring for her.
Anyway years of little and big accusations
Aurhourities have to take these seriously but now I feel that everyone believes them. There is not that much smoke without fire.
They got my DMs address book. Got into the heads of all DM s friends and family. Turned them against me.
Those who really knew us and knew the truth and didn't fall for, well they were removed from DMs address/phone book.

Sister comes across well. Can put a very concerned attitude and quite intelligent and caring sound posh voice.
She is a social worker. I am a common sounding manual worker who comes across a bit dim.
Sister was a mature student. Most of her friends at college are local social workers. Some quite senior.
I know they all believe sister. I have heard of stuff she is telling them off the record.
I understand more now why they would not listened to my concerns and told me nothing and talked to me the way they did.
Banging my head against a brick wall.
I gave up 3 weeks ago. But xmas just mafe me so unhappy thinking of my DM. And then I heard about the POA thing.
I have a message on my phone voicemail from my DM it was left in June. Last thing I heard from DM.
"I miss you Redshift, I love you. Please help me. I don't want to go to Ireland. Please come and see me"

I dont think There is anything I can do.
Feel like giving up.
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Oh God. Sorry
That was so long.
Was meant to be just a legal question.

This is the legal forum.
Not the place for this sort of thing.
Just was feeling upset and let it all out.

I will ask to get thread moved or deleted or something.
Sorry. Feel so embarrassed.

It's not clear from your posts whether you have established whether your mother has an LPOA in place. You can do a request for the OPG to search their register via there website using a form called OPG100, there's no data protection issues as its a public register.
If there is a LPOA in force contact the OPG and raise your concerns with them. I have professional dealings with them and they are very helpful - call them, they are more than happy to take a report of concerns over the phone. If there is no LPOA then you need to report to her local social service adult safeguarding team.

When you apply for an LPA you are supposed to give the addresses of interested parties (eg other siblings). I would think you could register some sort of objection somewhere. Try Citizens Advice or Professor Google. If you find the website that deals with LPAs I'd think it would explain how to object.

Try the pova team at the social services department relating to her last known address. State your mother is a vulnerable elderly person at risk of / or being financially abused, that poa has been / is being applied for out with proper procedures.

There is no LPOA in place.
Social Services don't really want to know.
Won't talk to me.
So I put in 2 safeguarding requests which they have to follow up within 48 hours.
They said they would let me know the outcome which I thought they had to do but apparently not. They didn't get back to me.
Will try CAB again.
Years ago I organised Dial-a-Ride to take DM to Age UK twice a week. Where she played bingo and talked to people while I was at work. The person in charge of the local Age UK was lovely and very helpful to DM and went out of her way in her personal time to help Me DM with things.
18 months ago I noticed a change in her behaviour towards me. Very cold. Secretive whispers between her and DM
Hard to explain
I know now that my sister's had been in contact with her. It makes me sick what she was thinking of me.
She has retired now so I could try Age UK again but I just feel everything is on record now (as any accusation of abuse should be, even with no evidence) and people just don't trust and believe me.
I feel I am no one is listening me or believing me. Looking at me and treating me strangely. Sometimes it is probably me being paranoid but most times I think it is true.
Even friends I have discussed this with find it so shocking and hard to believe.
Feel I have no Where left to go with it.

I repeat. Soc Serb will not help me at all, will not tell me anything and will barely talk to me.
I know they are in contact with my sister's regularly.

When you apply for an LPA you are supposed to give the addresses of interested parties (eg other siblings).

My sisters will not give my address. They will claim that my last known address was at my mother's house before I "walked out and abandoned her"
I know for sure that they know where I am living now. They know where my DC are living, where my best friends are living where I work.
They could easily get in contact with me.
They say they don't know where I am.

red are you saying that an entire local authority social work team is colluding with your sister to stop you having contact with you mother? If so l would definitely as pp have suggested contact the OPG and her area safeguarding team. Do you feel it is solely for financial gain?

Your mum would have had to sign the power of attorney papers for anyone to try and register it, do you know if she did this. As far as I know mail cannot be redirected without proof of p.o.a. we couldn't get it done. Perhaps you could call her g.p. with your concerns, they might be able to help. The surgery may have someone in charge of safeguarding.

You need specialist advice. I'd suggest you start with Action on Elder Abuse - they have a helpline:

www.elderabuse.org.uk/helpline

Action on Elder Abuse may be able to help you.