Should I use cafcass? I need some advice

[isaterror]

Hi
I need a legally binding contact agreement put in place as my ex is unreasonable about contact arrangements, and it reached tipping point this Christmas spoiling everything. He was really disinterested in making arrangements for Christmas access and then rang up shouting on Xmas eve after I’d emailed him with a suggested plan after not responding about anything for weeks. I no longer want to have to speak to him or communicate with him anymore as he is such a bully. Thing is I can’t afford mediation or solicitors and am not eligible for legal aid.

I’ve heard people talk about cafcass but don’t know what the threshold is for them becoming involved? Does anyone know or can recommend a route forward that might give me some free legal help in getting a court order?

He is emotionally abusive towards me (even 4 years after splitting up) returns me DD unwashed, smelling of BO, dirty and in torn clothes even though I’ve asked him to keep her clean and use deodorant now that she needs it. He never responds on anything if I ask for information about something, leaving everything til the 11th hour causing awful and unnecessary upset.

Any help appreciated
Thanks

CAFCASS cannot put a legally binding contact agreement in place nor can they help you get a court order. You need to either get a lawyer or represent yourself in court.

CAFCASS only become involved once you’ve applied to court. Their role is to advise the court on the child’s welfare.

Lucy Reed has a great book on using the Family Court without a Lawyer. She has also made several videos on YouTube that you may find help. Also The Custody Minefield is a good resource (I don’t think it’s updated any longer but its still helpful).

It’s not that complicated to represent yourself. The court fee is £215. You apply using form C100 (google it, download it, fill it in). State your child focused position and what you want the court to do.

cAFCAS automatically become involved when you go to court; they’ll talk to you and your ex and give advice to the courts about what is best for your DD.
How old is your DD?
You could have a very strict order in place with specific times and days that he sees DD so you don’t have to speak although it’d be easier if it could be agreed that you’ll email.
Do you keep a diary of everything that happens?

Thank you both for the really useful advice. I’ll look the book up and put an application in directly when I’ve got the submission fee. He earns lots of money and has been threatening to take me to court and saying how they’ll laugh at me if I go to court. But I’ll look the C100 up tonight.
My daughter is 8 yo, and yes I have kept a record of the worst instances of things that have happened. At one point he used to ask her to undress in my hallway when he bought her home so that he could take “his” clothes home with him. Now that I’ve told him to stop that he sends her back in stuff that is in a bad state or too small. Summer dresses in November were a regular occurrence too. Sorry to go off track.
I had just wondered whether there were any charity organisations who might’ve been able to help, but I’ll get onto it myself. Thank you

8 year olds don't need deodorant, just regular washing and clean clothes.

All relevant comments welcomed regarding my original post MrsChollySawcutt!!!

I think you will have to bite the bullet and go to court. They will also want to know what your DD thinks. Don’t coach her but she is now old enough to have an opinion and also to wash herself - unless prevented from doing so of course. What does she say about coming home unwashed and messy?

Thanks BubblesBuddy. I didn’t say too much to her about it, apart from that she should ask him to let her shower etc and for clean clothes. Youre right about biting the bullet. Dreading it, but thank you.