Advice on time with dad.

[Cassie85]

Hey guys, I am just wondering if there is any kind of standard view of what is suitable re: time with non-resident parent?

My DS is 5 months, I have been his sole care provider since he was born. I never lived with ex, I travelled back and forwards between his place and mine until I ended the relationship. Ex has had DS for one day alone and one night alone since he was born.other times, I have been there.

I now feel thatone day a week is enough, but obviously will work up to overnights, once DSis more used to dad caring for him.

I feel that is what’s right for my DS. I want to be fair and willing though. Does anyone have any idea what a court would suggest? Just so I know I’m doing the right thing,

I am under quite a lot of pressure from ex about having DS more, for overnights, and even suggested four days! I’m just looking for a bit of reassurance to give me confidence to stand my ground with this.

I should also add that apart from the one overnight with dad, I have had no support whatsoever with night time duties, it was never shared. Dad slept in a separate room when I stayed overnight at his and I dealt with DS on my own. Which is why I feel overnights at this stage is too much.

At this stage contact should be little and often. I wouldn't expect overnights for a 5 month old child.

Thanks prh. Do you think one day a week is enough? Or would two afternoons be better? I wouldn’t mind that but I don’t think dad would go for it.

My DS also goes to grandparents (dads side) for one day a week too which is feel is fair and good for him in building a relationship with them.

I really do have the best interests of my DS at heart. He is my first child though and I’m under pressure from my ex so it’s hard to listen to my instinct sometimes.

Continuity of care is important for children.
If the child's father reliably builds up trust with the child by learning to care for him during the short but regular contact sessions then as the child grows the time and regularity can be increased slowly. Agree to a 'parenting plan' which schedules the agreed parenting style, methods of care of the child, acceptable discipline and the times dates of contact and places of handover, also include methods of communication and what subjects are acceptable (avoids non child related spam between parents) This way there is less chance of distress to the child and less chance of conflict between a worried resident parent who is being harangued by an insistent demanding non resident parent.