Help needed re. Care order

[Dvh149]

This is an unusual one, but my partners ex for various reasons has stopped him seeing his daughter since she was 3 months old. (She will be 3 in April next year) he made various attempts and was shot down by her and her parents every time. In her eyes if she can't be with him then he can't see his child. He rightly or wrongly accepted this and has always paid CSA and thought it may be easier for everyone if he wasn't involved. I think he was scared to ask as he thought she was being very well looked after and didn't want to rock the boat. The last time he asked for contact was approx Nov 2016 and she agreed and then cancelled the day before. He was contacted by childrens services completely out of the blue about a week ago and informed that the child was in the care of the local authority and was residing with the maternal grandparents. They had struggled to track him down and he was shocked to find that social services had been involved since the end of 2016 and the child had been under the local authority since October. He received a letter stating court dates are already in place and if he wanted to apply to be the child's long term carer then he must do immediately. We have contacted a solicitor for legal advice but due to it being busy over Xmas don't have an appointment until next week. As he has had no contact for 2 years I wondered what the chances of him becoming the child's full time carer are if the maternal grandparents are the only other option. He is on the birth certificate, has no criminal record, is employed and in a good financial position. We are getting married next year and have no other children. He is desperate to be involved in her life and knows he should have made more effort to see his child and sees this as his opportunity to do whatever he can. The grandparents have also applied to be a long term carer as well. Thank you for reading this essay!

Forgot to add that have said they will need to carry out a parenting assessment.

That basically means that you and your partner (who has parental responsibility as on birth certificate) will be assessed over a period of time in order to establish whether you are able to meet the child's needs.
Have you contacted the social worker and asked for contact?

He was initially contacted on Wednesday last week and the social worker wouldn't discuss on the phone but said they were sending court documents out in the post and to read them and call back. He left 3-4 messages Friday when he received the paperwork then the same Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday, then called yesterday and explained it was urgent again as the letter said he must let someone know he wanted to apply to be a long term carer. He was told they have noted this information but die to it being Xmas period the social worker dealing with this case is busy in court. He called back again today to ask for an update and again has been told that he will be called back and nothing...

Social Services are extremely busy this time of year and a parenting assessment will take time. Also introducing a three year old to two strangers with a view to them becoming her parents takes time.
I would assume your partner will be looking at a residence order if he intends to parent this child.
Has return to the mother been ruled out?

Yes I would have thought so , we are not familiar with the process. From what we have read social services are recommending the child isn't returned to the mother at the moment as it place the child at serious risk. The grandparents have currently been approved as section 24 foster carers until Feb.

It does also saying they are considering adoption as another option if no one in the family can have the child.

So it seems that they are looking for a permanent placement for the child. You LL need to find out how soon you can start the parenting assessment and get a good family law solicitor.

In terms of chances, I would expect that they are quite good given that he is the parent and has parental responsibility.
So legally he has the same rights as the mum. You will need to work closely with social services and really take their advice and guidance on board.

Thank you so much for your advice! The grandparents do not seem to have been cooperating with social services during the assessment process either. All my partner want is to be able to help now in any way he possibly can. I guess we just need to be patient now and wait for the assessment from social services. We have contacted a specialist family solicitor and have an appointment after Christmas to see them. Thank you again.

Keep me updated how it goes.

Good luck @Dvh149 you sound very supportive.

Thank you everyone. It's been a big shock to find out about some of the things that have been going on but my partner just wants whatever is best for the child and I will support him 100%. There is a child in this who deserves a safe and loving home, who ever that may be with. Thanks again.

Have you got the necessary space? If grandparents only approved short term this could move quite fast...

What is your partners relationship with the maternal grandparents like. Is it good enough for him to start introducing himself to his child over the next few months ? If it is then that is the way to go. Little and often. Even if it's not . I would discuss this wish with SS as soon as possible and get them to facilitate it if they aren't willing.

The fact that he made no effort to enforce contact and gave up at the first hurdle (mother saying no) is really not good and won't go in his favour. There really is no excuse for it. He should have gone to court and got a child arrangements order. People do not use solicitors for this much these days as legal aid has been removed. Vast majority do it themselves and if he had made the smallest effort to look into this then he would have seen that it cost £215 (and free if on low income/benefits) . It sounds very much like he did a bit of hand wringing and then walked away.

That said - and it needs to be said.. he is still the child's parent and had the rights here - as in Parental responsibility and there is no reason why a child would be denied a home with a parent if one were willing able and capable. The only reason not to grant an order in your DPs favour is if there was any suggestion that the child would be subject to further detriment or instability. The court would also want a relationship built up slowly.

Your DP needs to present a picture of stability and a complete willingness to have a child focussed life style above else. (If you are in that place in your relationship I would seriously consider getting down to the registry office and making your relationship 'permanent ' (a big marker for 'in a stable relationship ') Marriage presents a picture of permanence that courts like when it comes to children.

He has PR as he’s the father so has the same rights as the mother. SS will speak to you both but will be supportive as it’s far better (and cheaper) for a child to be with a parent than in the care system. They just need to ensure it’s not out of the frying pan into the fire for the child. But to stop him having his dc they have to prove he’s an unfit parent and remove PR, which is time consuming, has to go through the legal system and expensive. Simply not being in the dc life for 3 years is not a good enough reason.

Good luck op you both sound lovely

OP says earlier on that child's grandparents were involved in obstructing contact. She also suggests there are issues around them co-operating with social services.
So I am assuming they will not support a relationship between father and child.
Parenting assessments will ask uncomfortable questions but it needs to be assessed whether or not the father is able to prioritise the child's needs and be protective.
In addition there will be a whole drama around contact with mother and maternal grandparents if there are very entrenched views

I am not sure a gunshot wedding is needed. But you may ask what is available on your area on terms of parenting support groups (incredible years?) As this child is likely to be fairly damaged and will most likely have attachment difficulties.
If she gets moved to your care scream and shout for early support. Theraplay is good for that age group.

Thank you, he fully accepts that he should have made more effort and wishes he could turn back time. He did believe that she was being well looked after and to fins out that isnt the case has made him feel even worse. The grandparents do not get on with him and they have also put blocks in the way in the past to try to stop him seeing the child. Are wedding is all booked and paid for at the beginning of June next year. We just want to be able to do anything we can and Wish the Mother would improve her situation so she can have a safe environment for her child, unfortunately I don't think this will be the case. He also doesnt want to be seen to try and take the child away from the grandparents who have a great relationship with the child as this will cause distress but as a long term option he would love a chance to make up for not trying very hard in the past. Thanks for everyone's advice and kind words. Will keep you updated.

There are concerns around the grandparents including them openly saying they don't be able to pay for childcare but don't give up work and will have to sacrifice thier life. It will ultimately be social services and the courts decision but we will be 100% cooperative with social services and if we can try and mediate with the grandparents it would be good for everyone but I'm not sure how that will go down.

Ask for all the reports as to why the child came into care.

If he doesn’t have anything against him- criminal/drugs/mental health problems etc it will be difficult for the court NOT to award custody.

We have got all the reports now there's various reasons surrounding the safety of the child in the mother's care. My partner is actually in the police force so underwent a one year recruitment process with various tests and screening so I am hoping this goes in his favour as well. Thank you.

Update on this- We have started the parenting assessment and the advice from the social worker carrying it out is so far it is very positive. My partner had his first contact session last week at the contact centre and this has been set up weekly going forward. They have also extended the parenting assessment by another 4 weeks to ensure my partner has as many contact sessions with his daughter before the final report is submitted to court. It looks highly unlikely that she will return to the mother, so looks like it will be a choice between my partner and grandparents. Nobody seems to be able to give us any advice on what the outcome might be. We have been advised that it really rests on what Caffcass report recommends is best for his daughter. We have a resolution meeting at the court with every one soon and the social worker has already said she thinks it is highly unlikely that a mutual arrangement will be agreed so then it will probably go to court for a final hearing in April. If any one has any advice would be great to hear your thoughts as this is all very confusing at the moment. Thank you.

Hope it all works out. At least he has contact with his child now whatever the outcome.

This is lovely to read. I hope it all works out for the little girl.