Cafcass officer was awful. Anyone had similar?

[JoJo2106]

Hi, had a home visit from cafcass today, she had been to my exes house before me. They have been ordered by court to do a section 7 report. I have a 15 month old ds and broke up with his dad when he was only 2 weeks old due to his heavy drinking and a cannabis habit and also DV incidents. There was a DV incident when ds was 7 months old and he assaulted me while he was holding ds after trying to run off with him. He was arrested but no further action taken due to the cctv footage not been that great. Also had to write statements for court for any other DV incidents etc but they decided there was to be no finding of fact hearing so nothing was ever brought up properly in court. He was also ordered months ago to do drug and alcohol tests which he done 6 months later and cos his hair was too short was only tested for 2 and a half months even tho 6 months was ordered. He passed it cos he had 6 months to cut down. It was a total farce

Ds hadn't seen his dad for 8 months and has just recently started seeing him again with my mum supervising as our local contact centre has closed down. They are 3 weeks in. Cafcass officer came today and was absolutely awful and I knew from the word go she was biased towards my ex. She never listened to a word I said and had an answer back for everything I brought up and was quite aggressive toward me I found. Told her stuff including my ex taking ds around drug use, him driving with him full of drink, and him.assaulting me while he was holding ds, I even showed her the cctv footage. All she kept saying was it's all unproven in court as there was no fact finding hearing. Even tho I have proof of stuff she wasn't interested at all and was only consumed with contact should happen whatever. I asked her if something happened to ds because of something he does what happens then. She said well that will be dad's fault. That's just great eh! He shouldn't be put at risk in the first place. She was horrible and I admit I let my emotions get the better of me which will prob go against me. Total pro father regardless of what risks there are.

Anyone else had this with cafcass. I am dreading what is going to be in this section 7 report. We are back at court in January but I can already guess the report will fully favour him and I will prob be slated for bringing up my concerns about ex and say I'm just been malicious whereas all I care about is ds safety. He is 15 months old and can't speak for himself.

Absolutely disgusting and awful people. And these people have our kids and what happens to them in the palm of their hands. Shocking!!!

You aren't the first and you won't be the last who goes through this. Sadly it isn't pro dad it's pro - close the case.
This is the truth about going through court - and I'm sorry your having such a crap time.
Don't take to much of it to heart, it will depend on what the judge see's when they read the reports.
Stay as calm as you can, try and be as reasonably as you can even if you don't want it. Because that way you have more of a chance of him not getting overnights etc straight away.
If you become a brick wall it won't go well, even though it may be right to prevent contact.

Three occasions of cafcass interaction, the first was a telephone interview (spoke over me, was intimidating and brusque) this cafcass officer didn't schedule a face to face and when in court this came out - I made to go into a side room with my exH and cafcass despite DV being a factor.
Second occurrence - (due to childrens services advising ceasing contact due to ExH physically hurting the child) Cafcass officer was disinterested, accusatory, blatantly ignored facts and was intimidating.
Third occurrence - cafcass officer was patient, calm, professional, gentle when talking to the child, listened and reviewed the case notes... The judge however ignored the report, the recommendations and ordered overnight contact regardless, over the strong advice of four sets of professionals, (teacher, counsellor, children's services and cafcass). It isn't always cafcass in my experience, the family courts system appears to be 'contact comes first'.

the family courts system appears to be 'contact comes first'

The courts are primarily concerned with the child's best interests. There is evidence that it is generally in the child's interests to have a relationship with both parents so yes, there is a bias towards contact. Of course, judges are human and don't always get it right.

My initial contact with carcass was also quite awful when my exh took me to court despite the fact that he was having contact for 3 weekends out of 4 and I was more than accommodating with extra time. The first cafcass officer was very biased towards ex & his DP from the outset and readily bought every lie he told her. In court, having realised that I was going to have to accept every recommendation that she made, I thanked the judge for his time after agreeing the court order but pointed out that I'd had all my concerns ignored and that we'd all be back in 6 months. The judge gave me a very knowing look and said "we'll see but we'll give it a go". The carcass lady just exchanged smug looks with exh. I then followed the court order exactly.

Three months later, my DS came home on Boxing Day looking very pale and trying to hide that he was upset. He told me that he had seen his DF kick and punch his DP because she couldn't immediately find something that he wanted. My DS was 9. My DP & I had a long chat with DS the next day and I explained what options there were and that we would support whatever he wanted to do even if that meant letting things carry as per court order. DS decided that going back to court for supervised contact was best as he had lost trust in his DF and didn't want to see him alone. So I went and filed for a new court hearing on NYE and suspended any further contact pending the first hearing. Funnily enough I got the same judge who had made a note of my comments previously and he agreed to suspend the order pending new cafcass interviews. I also requested that DS's interview be held at school and that DS wanted a different carcass officer (his request) in order to make it fair/unbiased all round. Judge agreed everything I suggested.
Subsquently, exh lost all his contact except for a supervised 2 hours a week. Eventually, exh had an epiphany and we gradually reinstated contact unsupervised and have rarely had issues since. Exh is still a knob but DS, who is now adult, knows this and deals with it appropriately.

My point is that exh only took it to court originally in order to try and control my life & household. He was insanely jealous of the happy home that DP and I had and admitted later that he wanted to make my life a misery because he could. The judge and I gave him enough rope to hang himself and he did. The look of hate and disbelief on ex's face when the judge cancelled his court order and gave him supervised access only was frightening because, as an abuser, he couldn't believe that he was being proved a liar. It was all about control for him and not DS's welfare. took
My advice is to always tell the truth when asked, never bad mouth the ex to cafcass/court and remain calm but engaged. You may also have to accept that sometimes you 'lose' the first round but the truth will out as abusers slip up. Keep offering supervised access in writing/email and reiterate that you all want what's best for you child. I also self represented every time and kept a diary of all contact from exh which helped me keep everything straight in my head in my dealings with cafcass/court. Hope it goes okay with you in court.

The problem was it was like she had already made her mind up before she seen me. She must have had a lengthy visit with ex as she was over an hour late to see me. He has won her round completely. She wouldn't really let me speak, spoke over me and just seemed to defend my ex if I brought anything up about him. She had told me on the phone earlier in the week that she would be asking me for background etc and would take lots of notes. She did neither I don't think she write anything at all down. Her mind was clearly made up of what she was going to put in the report after seeing my ex. The visit did not go well with me and we were all getting annoyed, my mum was there too who ended up in tears and had to leave the room. She didn't even ask her anything about how contact is going as it's my mum supervising. I just know there will be bad things about me in the report because it got emotional which prob isn't good. She more or less said to my mum right away that she was no longer needed to supervise after this next contact which is only 4 weeks of contact at 2 hours a time. The court had said it was to be 8 weeks supervised but if CAFCASS say different then contact can be varied. I wasn't comfortable with this and said I still wanted my mum there as my ex knows nothing at all about ds or his routine. He is 15 months and hasn't seen him for 8 months. He's never even fed him before which my mum was going to build up to doing and advising on. The cafcass officer said she conceded and has let my mum still supervise until the 5th January until she can view ds during contact with his dad. But judging by the way she was I know she will just say he can have unsupervised after that. We are back at court 23rd January. I am totally dreading it.

I have never been in such an awful situation in my life. She was so nice on the phone but was awful when I met her. Just all for him no matter what I said. She just kept saying there's no proof cos it wasn't proven in court. It's utterly disgusting the way they are. It's supposed to be the best interest if the child. Bullshit. Up to now all I've seen and heard is father's rights and it doesn't matter about a child's welfare as long as the dad gets contact.

Does anyone know what goes into these section 7 reportss and will she comment on if she thought I had an attitude etc?

I had huge Trouble dealing with them, I had about 4-5 different ones, had to go to 3 different offices. I had one saying I wasn't getting back to her, I was working 65 hours a week and told her to email me. That way I had proof I was communicating, because every time I got back to them I spoke to someone different.
The report was all about me, and the judge wasn't impressed as it didn't state anything about contact, or investigate the dad. Especially as I didn't say contact was to stop, and had given eow and I Day a week. It was a joke.
But a piece of advice - for four years this destroyed my life, I got so stressed with the threats he was getting the dc that I was bed bound for two weeks from stress related arthritis and have had it come back years later and for what... he got contact and the dc are fine.
You will if you let it become your life. It's not fair and your dc is so important but you have to stay as calm as possible. My ex wasn't feeding the at all, he was allowing his parents to be nudist around them, my youngest had got a tick from his dad telling him off.
Please don't let this become your every thought, if I could go back. I would tell my self to focus on all I can control, and contact with dad you can't.
Sending

My original cafcass officer also saw exh & his DP first after a short phone call with me. My mistake was saying that I would prefer no contact as exh abusive and that he was incapable of putting anyone else first but I did add that this was unrealistic and that I wanted DS to have a balanced relationship with his father. Other than that I was completely truthful. I was then labelled as obstructive and hostile in the report. It basically came down to exh as having put on a performance worth of an Oscar. I was, like you, told that any dv couldn't be taken into account as there was no proof despite me having solicitors letters telling him to stop verbally abusing me at handovers. Exh was allowed to say that I had been abusive towards him verbally over access when I hadn't but apparently because I'd asked to swap a day for family reasons, then I was abusive for asking.
When the cafcass officer visited us at our home, she sat with DS in a separate room at her insistence but because DS kept looking towards the doorway so she wrote that DS was looking to be prompted/coached as to what to say. She did not interview DS on his own at exh's home.
She also said that because I immediately agreed to her seeing DS in room alone, I was uncaring and unengaged from DS. She also said that because DS sat close to me during our family interview, DS was clingy and relationship was unhealthy. I mean WTF! Her entire report was all positive towards exh and she had nothing but criticism for my DP and myself. For example, I gave a rundown of our routine on week days (usual stuff of school,play, homework, more play, dinner, bath, reading, bed) she labelled our home as chaotic. Her main point of contention was that we had three children in a three bed house - I mean how dare we live in a house with bedroom sharing!!! We actually had two DC's full time and older DSC eow. She said that DP & I were hostile when we were clearly nervous about her visit and as to what we were hostile about, she never said despite the fact that we did not discuss exh at all she just asked us questions. We were not allowed to ask her anything.
I cried when the report arrived. So I decided that the best thing to do was to be as accommodating and reasonable as possible in court and let the long game play out. I was not going to 'win' under any circumstances with the cafcass report as it was.
The second cafcass officer was much better. She phoned me and took details of what DS had told me and then she interviewed DS at school on his own. She wouldn't tell me when she would see DS to minimise accusations of coaching. She also spoke to DS's teacher about DS but also about parental involvement etc. All I said to DS was that a lady would see him like before and that he should be truthful about his feelings and what he wanted. I also told him that it was up to him if he didn't want to tell cafcass about what has happened at Christmas but that it was okay if he did. He said that if he didn't say what had happened then Dad couldn't learn how to be a better Dad - bless him. The cafcass officer then phoned exh and asked him for his version. He denied everything and in doing so, effectively called his own son a liar. He even made his DP tell cafcass that she's never been abused as in "tell The lady that I have never abused you".
The second cafcass report was very different. Cafcass believed DS absolutely. The report recommended immediate termination of the original order and supervised access only in the forseeable future. In court exh argued with the judge and lost his temper. The judge said that unless he improved his attitude and did as told then he would not hesitate to consider stripping exh of his parental rights. The judge asked me about how supervised visits could work and I made suggestions. I also said that all I wanted was for OUR son to have a good relationship with his father and that I would do everything in my power to help if exh was willing to be calmer and may be have some therapy. We then thrashed out some details and I have never had to go back. Exh knew that we all knew that he was abusive and that he had lost any leverage over us because the abuse was out in the open by his own actions. It was just a long time getting there.

Practice Direction 12J should have been considered at the FHDRA - if it was not, then you must raise it at the next hearing.

Domestic violence, especially that which was so recent (baby is only 15 months old), must be properly investigated before child arrangements are made.

Hmm, just took another look at your OP and you state fact finding has already been considered and dismissed.

If you do not have a lawyer, I'd suggest getting one.

You need to have your wits about you op. I actually asked one to leave my house!! Her replacement admitted on the stand after a 4 YEAR case that his entire report was based on 'facts' from exh. My barrister tore strips off him and ex got nc.
Stick to your guns, bullet point any apparent 'facts' and have your legal representative question it.
Keep a diary, time line any facts you have. Any witnesses (?) have them approach you LR to do a statement.

I don't think there will be any more involvement with cafcass after this. We have been going through court since June and I think next months hearing will be the final hearing so it's coming to an end. I just wish it had been a completely different cafcass officer she was a nasty piece of work. Anything I started to say she has a defence ready for him. I wasn't slating him as a person I was bringing up genuine concerns of stuff that has actually happened and my solicitor said this was my chance to feed my concerns into the cafcass report but she just wouldn't have any of it. I think since he's passed these drug an alcohol tests their concerns have lowered. But it was a complete farce. He cut all his hair which is an age old trick and waited months to do them. He was even laughing online about it as someone was going on about getting stoned and he said that's no good for him at the min as he's not allowed to enjoy himself. That was when he was in the process of cutting down. An utter farce cos he will just go back to it all now hes been tested. So now he is basically been praised for cutting down

In his shoes I can't imagine managing with an unknown baby more than once or twice op. ...
Likely he will change his mind pretty damn quick in reality.
Virtual strength to you op. I was diagnosed with ptsd and weighed 7 stone by the final hearing.
The love and devotion to your dc will get you through.

My EXh went when kids were 2&3. He finally went too far 6 years later, and a further 2 years on he lost his parental rights.

5 trips to court in the interceding years. It had to come from the kids and be their choice.

Very hard and long get a good lawyer. Doesn't need to be expensive but one that knows about abuse and how to push his buttons big time.

Every contact with him should be viewed in terms of court. Evidence and a trail on everything.

@santaispackinghissleigh oh believe me he will do it just to get at me even if he couldn't cope or ds was distressed he wouldn't bring him back or anything. We are dealing with a complete arsehole here honestly. I know exactly what you mean, I have lost loads of weight and am so stressed. As a Previous poster said before it does consume your life and every thought. I've had a whole year of hell with all this and I truly believe this is just the start as I think he will drag me back to court for every little thing. Thank you I love ds so much and just want him safe. He's so little.

@wallywobbles I don't think he would ever lose his parental rights. He has cafcass in the palm of his hand by the sound of it and I heard the court will usually always go with their recommendations. I called my solicitor earlier to tell him how the meeting went he was pretty shocked. He wants me to put in writing exactly what happened and the fact that what the cafcass officer said in her phone call to me, as in asking about background and taking notes etc did not happen in the actual meeting. She just d8d not want to know at all. She defended him at every turn. If she had her way he'd have ds on his own from this week after only 3 contact sessions. I have not agreed to it so there's nothing they can do. At least I don't think so. My mum wants to do the full 8 weeks so we know that ds is going to feel comfortable and settled with my ex and so he can learn his routine etc and my solicitor said that is a reasonable response but she just wouldn't have any of it. Either way the report will be challenged if it's full of hatred towards me as my solicitor said I should have been given the same opportunity as my ex to give my version to the cafcass officer and I just wasn't. We need to wait an see whats in the report now.

I can't even enjoy Christmas at all I want it to be over as this just takes up my every waking thought it's just been horrendous. I have a baby and it should be a magical time and it's the worst time ever

Ph47 I believed that the family courts system was interested in the best interests of the child - I truly did, I trusted the professionals and the court. But when you're faced with the unbelievable reality of a Judge quashing a cafcass officers recommendation of no contact until a finding of facts was done and ordering overnight contact regardless of the written concerns of children's services, a counsellor, a child psychiatrist, teachers, a cafcass officer because of disclosure of physical abuse of the child by the nrp - when you face that - you realise that to some contact appears to go before physical and psychological welfare of the child.

My ex husband had raped me & tried to burn the house down with me & DS in it, DS was only 6 at the time & he dialled 999, they sent the police round who helped me & DS leave, they didn't arrest my ex & by midnight he had found out the hotel we had gone to ,& was parked outside bombarding me with texts & phone calls. I reported the rape to the police 3 months after it happened, DS was in the next room when it was happening & that was what stopped me screaming at him to stop or ringing the police straight away, I was in shock for months after & was later diagnosed with PTSD. We started going to court within a couple of weeks of me leaving him,my solicitor got an emergency hearing as he was living in my house, DS & I were homeless, we had to move in with my parents, I was forced by my solicitor to allow DS to see his dad for 2 hours twice a week supervised by my parents, I was told that if I denied him access I would be seen as a hostile mother & the chances of him gaining full custody would increase, the only contact I had with CAFFCASS was a telephone call to discuss access & once at court when my solicitor tricked me into going to talk to them by asking me for a private meeting in a room, when I walked in my ex husband & the CAFFCASS person were already sat there, I had no warning at all. CAFFCASS did nothing to support me even with what had happened, ex husband broke the non molestation order several times & was dragged back to court for contempt of court, he only got a slap on the wrist. If I had my time again, i wouldn't get married & I wouldn't have the father's name entered on the birth certificate, courts bend over backwards towards fathers, any hint of violence & they should lose their rights to be a parent.

Unfortunately it's just not true that the family court has the child's best interest at the forefront. It has the father's best interests and promotes contact even when there's significant risk of harm to the child on all too many occasions. I don't think I need to point to the evidence of this. It speaks for itself.