Harassment

[sue51]

I'm asking on behalf of my daughter. Would it be considered harassment to send pictures and an annual update of the baby's progress to her child's father. He has never seen or asked about his child and has threatened legal proceedings if contacted. My daughter is anxious to show my grandaughter when older that every effort was made to involve him in her life.

If he has stated that he is not to be contacted then she should stop, could she send updates to his parents if she has a relationship with them. Why doesn't she delete his address. Maybe when her daughter is older she may want to see her dad but she's setting herself up to be disappointed.

She has no relationship with his parents and they have shown no interest in the health and welfare of their grandchild.

I would think, if there’s no letters but simply photos with on the back written “DD name” then date of photo, is enough for an update, no other words or messages - would not be considered harassment.

She can't shown her child in the future proof that her dad didn't want contact that will devastate her.
I found a letter from my df to my Dm arguing about me and it hurt me so much. I didn't care about either of their opinions, all I could see was that I was problem and they were to busies trying to be right.

Leave the dad alone. Don't invite trouble, he may in years get in touch which your dd my be fine with or not, if she's not and the dad can prove she's been contacting with update, contact will probably be granted.

My partner was harassed by his ex, it got pretty serious to the point she was arrested and he ended up with a non molestation order against her with the power of arrest. The order stated she was not to contact him what so ever by any means. She then went and liked a photo on his new Instagram account which he has forgot to set to private. She got arrested and charged for liking a photo!!
If someone has said they do not want to be contacted then sending them pictures is contact and would be considered harassment but weather he would press charges or not, who knows. And if nobody has been warned before by the police then sending a simple photo they would most likely come and say not to do it again and no further action would be taken unless you sent more

Well, it is much better to not send any photos if there is no agreement and if he is forcing you to do this then you can file a case against him.

She should not contact him if he has said he doesn’t want contact.

She shouldn't contact him. As sad as it is, it sounds like dad and his whole family have made their stance very clear. I think your DD needs focus on accepting this (As awful as it is that the arsehole wants nothing to do with his own child) and that he's probably not someone who DD needs in her life. She can live her life supporting and loving her DD and she will grow up assured that her mum was not the issue.

As keep in mind that whilst your daughter may have good morals, dad may not. DHs ex has completely altered events and the timeline of their relationship/break up to make her look good. Of course now DSS is a teenager it's all unravelled leaving her looking a bit stupid. Your GDD will no doubt grow into a strong, intelligent woman who will work it out for herself.

There has been no police involvement just a solicitors letter accusing her of threatening him when she told him she was pregnant. Is a photo of your own child really seen as threatening? She has not been verbally abusive towards him, he however has to her.

That is kind of a side issue. She should report him if he is violent. But she should not contact him if he has asked her not to.

Then she definitely needs to not contact him. He clearly doesn't want to know. What will she achieve other than another solicitors letter or a visit from the police. He's made himself quite clear.

So it is seen as harassment to tell a man that you are pregnant. Men really do hold all the cards.

If he has clearly stated he wants no further contact then it is harassment to continue to contact him.

I’m sorry your daughter finds herself in this position but the man has made his feelings clear and she should not continue to contact him.

OP. You and your daughter need to accept no means no. Forget the moral high ground here. He doesn't want to know about the child. End off. He has made himself quite clear.

I have been harassed in the past. The police issued an harassment warning which wasn't abided by. They then took the person to court for breach of the peace against me and they were found guilty and bound over to keep the peace towards me under threat of a fine for a year I think.
Before the breach of the peace charge the person put a letter through my door. I contacted the police who actually said it wasn't a breach of the harassment warning. However I'd not chance it if I was you. I didn't want any contact with the person whatsoever and would have had no hesitation reporting a photo being sent. You have my greatest sympathy but once your daughter is old enough you can explain things to her, you don't need evidence as such that you tried to maintain contact. This man is the one who will lose out in the long term but you cant make him want to know his child. I hope you're claiming maintenance though

Men don't hold cards neither do women.
Your very upset which is clear, but why do you actually want him to have any knowledge of the dc?
You said for the future, but then your mad because he and his family aren't interested.
Your dd needs to raise her dc with love and not to force anyone who doesn't care to have contact.

He hasn't got away with anything, it may seem that way, it may seem that he doesn't provide etc and it's all down to your dd.
But he's missing out on all those beautiful moments too, plus there are so many parents who pray for their dc parent to leave them alone - so see the silver linings where you can.

In fact I dont want this man or his family with their repugnant morals near my daughter and grandaughter. My daughter is just concerned that her child will resent her for not trying to establish a relationship with her father. She has never confronted him or his family. His threatening solicitors letter was a preemptive strike on his part and incredibly cowardly coming as it did on the day she came home from hospital.

Look. you're justifiably angry. I get that, I understand that. But your daughter has a baby with (obv assuming she wasn't raped, in which case she should go to the police) and he doesn't want to be involved.

She should ensure she gets maintenance at the appropriate rate.

You know he's an arse, he's behaving like an arse, that might or might not change but at this point he's made it clear he wants no contact. She should not contact him.

It's a non issue. He's not interested and the idea of needing proof is a bit strange. Sge should, however, go through CMS for child maintenance.

Its blindingly obvious that he is not interested. My daughters concern is that his lack of care may hurt her child in the future. He did contact my daughter just after the soli itors letter arrived offering her £50 a week if she signed a legally binding agreement which stated that she would never name him as her childs father. He is incredibly manipulative and callous.