Potential split - what is normal custody?

[threetwoonezero]

I may be splitting with my partner of 20 years. He is a good father, we have 2 children, 4 years old and 7 months old, and they must come first. What works best in terms of custody? We are likely to live about 30 minutes apart.

There is no normal - each case is looked at on an individual basis. Have you spoken to each other about what you each feel is best?

Children have the right to what is in their best interests - this is usually thought to be continuity - the children remaining in the care of the parent who mainly does their hands on care. The resident parent and the non-resident parent then share the care of the children in a way that reflects the childrens best interests - how they're generally cared for.
For instance it would not be in the best interests of the children for them to suddenly be catapulted into sole care of a parent 50% of the time ~ who previously only ever saw them for an hour in the evenings and didn't do bath, bed or food time or other important routine care.

Don’t use the word custody for where your children will live.

You will, presumably, have discussed school for the 4 year old. Or they might already be at school. Therefore keeping this arrangement intact is important and being resident with the parent who can facilitate this during the week is a good start. A walk to school nearby is preferable to driving 30 plus minutes in rush hour traffic. Babies normally stay with mums because that’s usually in their best interests. Availability and caring roles of both parents is also important though. Who does what? Do they work? What child care is used?

Many people sort out weekend visits with the non resident parent and try and keep weekdays stable. Try and be fair and practical. Always do the best for the children and you can sort it out between you if you are putting the children first.