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Misswhitman · 28/11/2018 11:51

Hello, just looking for a signpost in the right direction. I have an 8 month old DS. I am also 14 weeks pregnant. My ex and I are separated. I kicked him out 3 months ago when I discovered he was using cocaine. Prior to that he was never home, always out drinking or at work. Since then I have allowed him to come over for 2 hours a day to see my son at my home. I will not allow him unsupervised until he passes a drugs test. I have concerns about him driving under the influence, while checking his phone and driving aggressively. I worry that he would put my child at risk. He agreed to no unsupervised until he can pass a drugs test which he verbally stated would be 6 months from his use. My current issue is that every time he comes to my home an argument ensues. He disrupts DS routine because he's always in a hurry to get somewhere (often the pub for the football) and will stop his dinner early or take him out of the bath early resulting in me having to feed him again and resettle him. He is hostile towards both myself and my mother and yesterday's argument was because he would not stop picking his nose and flicking the contents on my carpet. Ultimately he has no respect for me. I'm finding this increasingly difficult to deal with and it's really putting a strain on my health. I don't know where I stand legally. I would like to stop his access until something could be formally arranged (he refuses to go to mediation) but I'm terrified this will make me look bad in court and even more terrified that he will get unsupervised and my son will be put in a potentially unsafe situation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Jack65 · 30/11/2018 00:15

Reduce the contact down to an hour every other day. See how it goes. Tell him in writing and keep a copy, "that he cannot see the child on his own due to his drug use and driving habits, and that some of his behaviour in your home is unacceptable, such as picking his nose and flicking, and not keeping to a routine, and arguing in front of the child and causing distrss, so you are reducing the contact to see if his behaviour improves and if it does you will be happy to reinstigate 2 hours a day contact".

It may be his behaviour improves. If not, then inform him contact will have to be at a childrens centre. You can find details of these and how to use them if you google it. Ultimately he may choose to take legal action, or try to make your life difficult. However its really important you establish boundaries now, as it wont improve otherwise.

Misswhitman · 30/11/2018 06:56

Thank you so much for your reply. I will do that today.

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