Can I be forced to give the Father shared custody?

[Wilkiemini]

After a very acrimonious split with the father of my two children (age 9 and 10) he has access to them two days in the week where he collects them from school and has them until bedtime so drops them home at 8pm he also has them every other weekend sat 9.30am to Sunday 6.30pm so once overnight.

He is now threatening me with solicitors letters saying I have to attend mediation, he say if he doesn’t get 50/50 custody he’ll take me to court to get it.

Both myself and the children are happy with the current access arrangements m, he also has them for half the school holidays because I only get 5 weeks holiday a year!
He is now saying he wants to choose what weeks he has them so not necessarily around me or the school holidays! I cannot afford solicitors bills, childcare or anything he left me unable to pay the rent and I work 30 hours a week so I claimuniversal credit now :( which is a nightmare in itself!

He earns 4K a month and pays £590 maintenance which is the minimum he has to pay he think this means I have to purchase absolutely everything they need whilst he just spends his money on going out and socialising!

Can I be forever to give him 50/50 custody against my will? I do all the school runs and the kids clubs he works abroad about 12/14 weeks a year and expects me to work around him!

Today he sent some rude emails to my work and I have now blocked all contact with him as he continues to verbally abuse me and remind me of his rights!

Help me please I’m at the end of my tether I’ve been through hell with this man and he gets a kick out of mentally hurting us...we’ve all been in tears tonight :(

it is mathematically impossible to divide 365 into a even split of complete days, odd numbers are not divisible by 2 one has 182 days the other 183, in a leap year it can be 183 with both of course

however on a practical level I would regard 182/183 days as an equal split as I am sure would the courts

Perhaps once you get into tribunal stages and so on, it’s looked at that closely.

I’ve had experience of being the paying parent and of being the receiving parent and every time their service has been terrible. Conflicting advice, misinformation, incorrect calculations, incorrect figures recorded. I imagine they have a high turnover of staff and the training can’t be great quality.

That isn’t my personal experience - as a parent who has used the CMS and has a 50/50 arrangement but okay

Can you share on MN what your personal experience was? Did CMS make a nil assessment on the basis that care was shared 50/50?

Don't reply if you don't want to as this thread seems to be getting a bit heated.

Conflicting advice, misinformation, incorrect calculations, incorrect figures recorded

This seems to be the root of the problem. Every person I have spoke to in CMS provides a different version. In my own case CMS have made 3 different assessments in less than 12 months and are still looking at my earnings for the Tax Year 2015-2016!

I will take Collaborate's interpretation as being the correct Legal position as it mirrors what my Ex wife has been told by her solicitor. If shared care is deemed to be 50:50 then no maintenance is payable. Ex wife intends to take to tribunal if that's the case.

CMS, however, have given me three different versions as follows:

Use the online calculator and select the 175 nights or more;

If time spent with child is on an equal and alternating basis then it is 50:50 shared care (Collaborate's advice). In that case the calculator is not applicable;

As I am Non UK Resident I should not even bother with CMS and RP needs to follow the REMO route.

I personally work in Arbitration and would apply the logic what is common sense and fair and reasonable to all taking into account the circumstances. In my case that would be that it is unreasonable for ex wife to contribute the same as myself towards child's costs due to the large difference in earnings.

To MissMalice

If you look on the Divorce/Seperation board and the thread 50/50 custody there is a post from woman who does alternate child care one week on and one week off. CMS assessment was that father did not have to pay Child Maintenance even though he earns 4 times more than ex wife.

Looks like Collaborate was right all the time.