Have been going through the family courts for a year now after social services told me to stop my exh from seeing the kids until a CAO was granted.
Since he applied back in September 2017 he’s had no direct contact with the children (well he isn’t supposed to)
In March this year he was granted indirect contact (fortnightly letters and weekly phone calls) and ordered to go on the bbr programme.
He wasn’t accepted onto the course due to high levels of deniability and low levels of responsibility. He hasn’t written a single letter and didn’t call the children for 12 weeks after I called the police due to him being verbally abusive to me during one of his phone calls to the children.
He persists in showing up at our dcs hobbies and just stands there, watching, often taking time to watch me.
It’s one public property so it’s a loophole he’s exploiting- so long as he doesn’t approach the kids he’s not breaking the court order, except, until recently, he did keep approaching the kids and was abusive towards me in front of them.
In light of him not being accepted onto the bbrp carcass said no direct contact until he’d sought help via his gp- he’s not done that.
The judge ordered a fact find hearing which we had in September, very stressful mainly because he didn’t file his paperwork on time and the hearing got pushed back.
At the hearing the judge ruled in my favour on all counts and dismissed my exh as evasive, callous and said he’d behaved appallingly.
Then, in the next breath, the judge said he believed exh has acted out of love and a desperation see his children and so has directed cafcass to find a way forward for direct contact to resume.
Cafcass have spoken to the dc who have made it clear they don’t want to see him because they don’t feel safe and yet, because the judge has said cafcass have to make a recommendation on how direct contact can resume they are going to make a referral to core assets.
It’s my understanding that core assets are an organisation who will work with me, dc and exh in order to try and reintroduce him in a positive and safe way.
A referral to core assets was dismissed as unsuitable by cafcass in March this year because of the limited exit plans plus the high likelihood of it not working.
Nothing has changed since March other than the judge ruling I’ve been telling the truth so I don’t understand how we can now be heading towards direct contact “to see how it goes”
My dc are not an experiment
We are back in court just before xmas to see what the judge recommends and orders.
Can I put in my position statement that, whilst I agree that core assets is the only safe option for direct contact, I believe the referral should be delayed until exh has been consistent with the indirect contact, starts sending letters and ringing when he should, goes to the gp and gets some counselling/anger management help and stops exploiting loopholes so as to be able to watch me- he’s not watching the kids he grilled me last week on my relationship status with the male parent I was standing next to, apparently we looked “cosy” and basically does as he’s been told to for a period of time before direct contact resumes?
Core assets is a temporary intervention, what happens when that provision ends? Exh will still be the way he is and we’re back to square one.
I also would love to ask cafcass what they would have recommended had the judge not put the order to find a way for direct contact but I don’t know if that would be overstepping.
I just feel that cafcass are there to be on the children’s side and if their hands are tied by judges then what’s the point? They should be reporting and making recommendations based on their professional experience and in the children’s best interests.
Kind of feel like the whole year of court hearings has been wasted because it’s as though everything that’s gone before is being struck off and he’s being let off the hook completely.