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Mediation query

9 replies

Notsleptin2wholegoddamnyears · 23/11/2018 06:51

Do I have to attend mediation if there has been harassment and emotional abuse issues?

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 23/11/2018 09:13

You don't have to attend mediation. However, in the absence of evidence of domestic violence, if you want to apply for a court order relating to children or finances you will have to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) in most cases. Your ex will not be at that meeting. All you need to do in the meeting is tell the mediator that you are unwilling to attend mediation.

Notsleptin2wholegoddamnyears · 23/11/2018 11:48

So if I take my police reports and GP letter to the initial meeting and say I don’t feel it’s appropriate for mediation. I’m 8 months pregnant, this man has harassed me almost to the point of a breakdown and I do not want him anywhere near me.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 23/11/2018 12:06

You have to pay for a MIAM. Mediators are all self-employed.

You will not need a MIAM if you fall under one of the following exemptions:

evidence that a prospective party has been arrested for a relevant domestic violence offence;

evidence of a relevant police caution for a domestic violence offence;

evidence of relevant criminal proceedings for a domestic violence offence which have not concluded;

evidence of a relevant conviction for a domestic violence offence;

a court order binding a prospective party over in connection with a domestic violence offence;

a domestic violence protection notice issued under section 24 of the Crime and Security Act 2010 against a prospective party;

a relevant protective injunction;

an undertaking given in England and Wales under section 46 or 63E of
the Family Law Act 1996 (or given in Scotland or Northern Ireland in place of a protective injunction) by a prospective party, provided that a crossundertaking relating to domestic violence was not given by another prospective party;

a copy of a finding of fact, made in proceedings in the United Kingdom, that there has been domestic violence by a prospective party;

an expert report produced as evidence in proceedings in the United Kingdom for the benefit of a court or tribunal confirming that a person with whom a prospective party is or was in a family relationship, was assessed as being, or at risk of being, a victim of domestic violence by that prospective party;

a letter or report from an appropriate health professional confirming that-
(i) that professional, or another appropriate health professional, has
examined a prospective party in person; and
(ii) in the reasonable professional judgment of the author or the examining appropriate health professional, that prospective party has, or has had, injuries or a condition consistent with being a victim of domestic violence;

a letter or report from-
(i) the appropriate health professional who made the referral described below;
(ii) an appropriate health professional who has access to the medical
records of the prospective party referred to below; or
(iii)the person to whom the referral described below was made;
confirming that there was a referral by an appropriate health professional of a prospective party to a person who provides specialist support or assistance for victims of, or those at risk of, domestic violence;

a letter from any person who is a member of a multi-agency risk assessment conference (or other suitable local safeguarding forum) confirming that a prospective party, or a person with whom that prospective party is in a family relationship, is or has been at risk of harm from domestic violence by another prospective party;

a letter from an independent domestic violence advisor confirming that they are providing support to a prospective party;

a letter from an independent sexual violence advisor confirming that they are providing support to a prospective party relating to sexual violence by another prospective party;

a letter from an officer employed by a local authority or housing association (or their equivalent in Scotland or Northern Ireland) for the purpose of supporting tenants containing-
(i) a statement to the effect that, in their reasonable professional
judgment, a person with whom a prospective party is or has been in a
family relationship is, or is at risk of being, a victim of domestic violence by that prospective party;
(ii) a description of the specific matters relied upon to support that
judgment; and
(iii)a description of the support they provided to the victim of domestic violence or the person at risk of domestic violence by that prospective party;

a letter which-
(i) is from an organisation providing domestic violence support services, or a registered charity, which letter confirms that it-
(a) is situated in England and Wales,
(b) has been operating for an uninterrupted period of six months or
more; and
(c) provided a prospective party with support in relation to that person’s needs as a victim, or a person at risk, of domestic violence; and
(ii) contains-
(a) a statement to the effect that, in the reasonable professional
judgment of the author of the letter, the prospective party is, or is at
risk of being, a victim of domestic violence;
(b) a description of the specific matters relied upon to support that
judgment;
(c) a description of the support provided to the prospective party; and
(d) a statement of the reasons why the prospective party needed that
support;

a letter or report from an organisation providing domestic violence support services in the United Kingdom confirming-
(i) that a person with whom a prospective party is or was in a family
relationship was refused admission to a refuge;
(ii) the date on which they were refused admission to the refuge; and
(iii)they sought admission to the refuge because of allegations of
domestic violence by the prospective party referred to in paragraph (i);

a letter from a public authority confirming that a person with whom a
prospective party is or was in a family relationship, was assessed as being, or at risk of being, a victim of domestic violence by that prospective party (or a copy of that assessment);

a letter from the Secretary of State for the Home Department confirming that a prospective party has been granted leave to remain in the United Kingdom under paragraph 289B of the Rules made by the Home Secretary under section 3(2) of the Immigration Act 1971, which can be found at www.gov.uk/guidance/immigration-rules/immigration-rules-index;

evidence which demonstrates that a prospective party has been, or is at risk of being, the victim of domestic violence by another prospective party in the form of abuse which relates to financial matters.

Collaborate · 23/11/2018 12:08

So if you fall under one of the above exemptions you don't need to get a MIAM before applying to court. If it's him who is applying to court you don't need to go anyway, whether or not you fall under one of the exemptions.

Notsleptin2wholegoddamnyears · 23/11/2018 13:49

Thank you collaborate.....
It is he potentially taking me to court over child contact.
I received a call yesterday from a mediation company asking me to attend a MIAM meeting.

OP posts:
Notsleptin2wholegoddamnyears · 23/11/2018 13:53

I’m not fussed about him taking me to court, personally i feel after months of legal battles it is now the only way forward and I’d welcome it being taken out of my hands.
He is desperate to keep it out of court as I have evidence of harassment and abuse, towards me and our child, but he just cannot be reasonable and we have gone way past any mediation.
Plus I cannot be around his mind games and manipulation any longer.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 23/11/2018 14:26

Simply tell them you will not attend mediation. You don't need the MIAM. It's him who needs that.

Notsleptin2wholegoddamnyears · 23/11/2018 14:33

Will it go against me in court though, if I don’t attend the initial assessment?

OP posts:
Collaborate · 23/11/2018 20:04

No, especially given the reasons you have set out here.

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