Hi,
I need some general advice, I have a young son who is 7 and in the middle of a divorce which is at Nisi stage. My soon to be ex husband is completely unreasonable in every event and I find myself on a constant battle all the ime, watching what I say and what I do. We are still living in the same house at the moment as he refuses to move out although he has the means to do so. He refuses to do his own washing and ironing and cooking even though my solicitor says that we need to establish seperate households. It is physically impossible to do so, he says that if I don't do the ironing and washing for him he will stop the payments that he is getting at the moment. He says that it's not him that is being unreasonable.
We have xmas holidays coming up within the next few weeks and I am always in the wrong at whatever I do and was looking forward to some peace this year but alas no we are urguing over who has our son on what day, I have suggested that as my husband does not know how to look after him on any basis as for the last 7 years he has had little to no contact with him on a daily basis even though we were married and in the same house. He has to date never looked after him for more than an hour. If as he suggests he has him over night on boxing day I start a process that I can not stop, if I suggest that he has him during the day until 7pm I can keep the overnight battle for another time. My son needs medicine overnight and my ex will not or is not capable of giving this medicine to him, he says that I have to trust him which I know that I can not do. How can I trust a man that has had no contact with his son for more than 15 minutes at any time to look after him.
He is always going on about money, he is always controlling me even now, he asks when are you going to be back, where are you going, is it any of his business.
I am seeing my solicitor soon and I wonder if I can get sole custody of our son but joint phsyical access to him. My ex goes away on business at 24 hours notice and sometimes less, how can he physically say that he can have him overnight at least twice a week, i know that it is ploy to keep the money down and that he is not really interested in him.
As a baby my ex didn't do anything for our son, he has never bathed him fed him, changed his clothing, read him a bed story, got up in the night when he is ill. He had one day off when he was born and then went back to work, he then went on a boys only holiday when he was 10 days old.
I know that dad's have a right to see their children and i agree it would be good for him to continue to see his dad on a basis that does not mean overnight. But why is that dad's get the same rights if they have shown no interest in their children throughout their lives and then have the right to say we won't give you any money either.
I am a stay at home mother, I am now looking for part time work but it's hard where i live their just isn't the work around that fits in with a single mother and young son, child care is horrendous expensive and the government at the moment are only going to give me 75 a week for job seeking allowance. I can't live on that.