Withholding contact due to lack of maintenance?

[PushHop]

What is the legal standing on resident parent withholding contact because maintenance hasn't been paid?

DH has been unemployed for 2 months. I've been on statutory pay for Shared Parental Leave. We have his DC 40% of the time and have done for seven years. His ex is insisting that since we are married I should be paying maintenance if he is unable to and has calculated what she deems to be our arrears. She has threatened to pass his details on to CMS so they can sort it out. We have explained that the maintenance arrangement is between the two of them and so nothing to do with me (she has been very clear in the past that I am not a parent to DSC and parenting decisions are to be made between DH and ex - which I agree with - so I'm not happy that she has changed her stance when it is of financial benefit to her). We have also explained that CMS will agree that no maintenance is to be paid whilst DH is unemployed and that they certainly won't seek any "arrears" that occurred before their involvement (especially since there aren't any arrears because he doesn't have to pay when he is unemployed).

Her next step will be to threaten to withhold contact until maintenance is paid. Whilst morally I know that children are not "pay per view", is there any legal basis behind this? For what it's worth, I would have picked up the payments for maintenance if I wasn't on statutory pay, and whilst I go back to work full time next week, DH also starts a new job next week so will be picking up maintenance payments as soon as he is paid. We just do not agree that there are arrears.

Laughing at the idea of Collaborate - one of the calmest and most constructive posters on this board - getting “rattled” “again”

This is the legal board. Posters have no business giving subjective, emotive responses which aren't based on the facts.

The fact of the matter is that only the NRP's income will be taken into account re: maintenance - not his wife's.

@collaborate and @prh47bridge are rightly frustrated that many threads on this board end up filled with crap advice spouted by people who don't know basic law.

I'm not a lawyer. I have some limited experience of divorce and finances from personal experience. I recognise the limitations of my own knowledge, and post on these threads only when I think I have something constructive to say. IMO it can be helpful for laypeople to post on these boards, if they follow the same principle (I think it's helpful to post real-life divorce information so women don't get carried away with ideas they can "take their ex to the cleaners", withhold contact for spurious reasons etc). I don't think it helps OPs if multiple posters spout their subjective opinions as facts, when often what they are recommending runs counter to the actual legal position.

When someone posts

callous bastards

They are rattled. Hahaha

However, fair point about people making incorrect statements on the Legal Board.

You are not liable for anything. He is and does have to pay an amount even if unemployed. She has not withheld contact and you say he is going to start paying again so I don't know what you want to know exactly.

The context in which that was said was entirely appropriate IMO.

You are one of the most rattled posters I’ve come across on these boards in a long time tbh.

The only person who has posted that phrase on this thread is you. I get that you don't like things Collaborate has said to you but you should not bring your argument with him onto this thread. It has no relevance to the OP's question whatsoever.

True

Is he receiving any benefits such as job seekers? If he is then legally he does need to pay although CMS won't take into account any "arrears" prior to them being contacted. Also they don't take into account your income and the CMS have never done that. The CSA used to but for all new cases it's through the CMS and they only go off NRP's income.

Children are not pay per view so legally she can't stop contact but I think you'd have to go to mediation and then possibly court if not agreed at mediation to actually enforce that - which presumably you don't have the money for so technically she could stop contact.

As for the poster talking about university, that is again incorrect information. They take into account RP's income as well as their DP's if living together. They don't take into account NRP's or the NRP's partners income- rightly or wrongly.

Morally well I think you know the answer to that one but as you've been clear you don't want people commenting on that, I'll leave it at that.

The question you are asking is can she legally do that.
The answer is no if there is a contact order in place.