Malicious accusation. World challenge.

[Gksmith]

So my daughter signed up to do the world challenge 2019 to Tanzania. World challenge is basically an adventure holiday broker that are supposed to help empower your child to earn the cost of a ‘trip of a lifetime’.
Unfortunately my daughter had to pull out of this as she is suffering with severe anorexia and would not be physically well enough to partake in the trip. Several family members gave money direct to My daughters world challenge account and several gave Her loans with which to purchase materials to try and earn extra money. I myself spend several hundred pounds.
As part of the contract world challenge kept 10% of the cost of the trip, £300, and reimbursed the rest of the money paid to me. I paid off my family that gave loans for investment and made sure that I paid off the loan I took out. There was not enough money to reiemburse everyone.
My daughter subsequently decided she wanted no more contact with her paternal family. This was unrelated and her choice, she is nearly 15 and more than capable of making these complex decisions now.
Here is where is gets complicated.
I received a phone call from the police saying that an allegation of theft has been made by My daughters paternal family! I have not been given any details but they are basically accusing me of stealing the money from them for the fundraising.
I am autistic and have been freaking out ever since. I know I have not done anything deliberately wrong and I don’t see how anyone could think that so I assume it must be a malicious allegation as they are aggrieved that my daughter has cut contact.
The grandmother came with me to the world challenge meeting. They all knew that my daughter had to pull out due to health reasons and that she was very upset about it. I had discussed in detail the possibility of financial loss with My daughters grandmother who knew She may not be well enough to partake in the trip. I am already down several hundred pounds financially from this. How can somebody give a gift to a child, family, and then accuse of theft?
It doesn’t make any sense to me.
Please help if you can or have any advice. I am really struggling here.
Thanks
Xx

Why take money from them if they were abusing her?

You clearly have no concept of abuse love!

The refund should have been used to pay back the people who paid money direct to World Challenge, 90% of what each person paid. You should use the materials purchased with the money from the loans to earn extra money and pay back the loans. Any extra made can be used to pay the other people back their 10%, and then put towards your loan.

Did you or your daughter not keep a record of who gave how much?

It is off that they went straight to the police but you should have kept them in the loop about what was happening with the funds. Just because your DD has decided to cut contact with them doesn't mean that you can't communicate with them about this.

I do know exactly what abusebis but you haven’t told us what the abuse was. I have no idea why anybody would take money from family members who were abusing them.

So from their pot of view (even with the massive drip feed)
they gave her money for a trip
trip was cancelled
she went NC
you kept the money

throw in the alleged abusive nature of that side of the family and then its no wonder what is happening.

People DONATED money for your child to go do charitable work. She didn't go so they should have their donations back. That's the moral thing to do. From their point of view, you paid back your own family and not theirs. It was a bit of an overreaction IMO to call the police but I can see how they feel what you have done is akin to stealing their money.

The way you have allocated the refund is based on capitalist principles! You've prioritised investors over everyone else, you've shared the pot between a small group and ignored others.

Why do you think you should be repaid when others are not receiving a penny? The gifts were clearly conditional, based on her going on the trip.

A fair way to redistribute the funds would be to work out what proportion was paid in by each person, and apply that same proportion to the refund. That way everyone shares the return but also the loss.

I'm sorry your daughter's ill and has had to pull out of the challenge and it's also a shame that the finances have tumbled into a mess.

However, you need to separate these issues in your mind and put all your emotions about your daughter to one side and look at the money solely as a financial issue.

Write a list of which individual gave how much money, irrespective of whether it was a gift or an investment or a loan.
Total up that list, it should total £3,000
That should also be a true list from all the relatives' points of view.
They have given money for something that did not take place and they want their money back.

You received £2,700 back from the company because they kept 10% as the deal didn't happen.

So, initially, contact everyone on your list who paid and refund each one of them 90% of what they paid, explaining that the company has kept the 10%.

When you've saved up, refund each one of them the last 10% as a gesture of goodwill.

I understand you're saying the £2,700 went into an overdrawn account and you've not said how much of that £2,700 was refunded by you to only some relatives. BUT that is not the relatives' problem.

From their perspective, you have received the refund of £2,700, you were given that money and you have not paid them all back.

It doesn't matter what you think about people asking you for a refund instead of going to the Police etc. Shelve those thoughts as well, they only obfuscate the situation.

Peel this issue back to the bare bones.

1. The relatives gave money expecting certain conditions to be fulfilled.

1. Those conditions were not fulfilled.

1. You were refunded "their money" less 10%

1. You have not refunded all of the people who gave money.

1. You need to refund all the people the exact amount that they gave, because if you do not, they think you have stolen their money.

OP you seem to have started naming the people involved which may be unwise so I have reported to MNHQ so that they can edit the details out

Op- it's really sad that you're daughter can no longer attend the trip and that she's poorly . It must be tough on her.

I do however echo what others have said . I believe that you unfairly distributed the refund. It's a bit malicious of them to go to the police but considering that your daughter isn't on a civic terms with them I think it's an understandable reaction.

I would have repaid everyone fully and take the loss myself but that's just me . Also , the paternal family members would have been repaid first as I would have anticipated that they would have used this to add fuel to the fire !

Can you scrap the money owed together and repay them ?

Hi There Gksmith - forgive us barging in like this but we're just letting you know we've removed some posts which name specific individuals as that's not advisable.

Do feel free to re-post leaving out their names if you wish.

And it was not somebody else’s refund.

Of course it was. It certainly wasn't for you or your dd to decide to keep and spend on something else. It was for a trip she is no longer going on so needs to be refunded to those that donated, or at the very least she or you need to ask if they'd mind if she used the money for something else.

This is sadly predictable

OP: AIBU?
everyone: yes
OP: But but but

OP, listen to what people are saying, You are being unreasonable and have taken money that doesn't belong to you. You need to repay it asap

Except this isn't in AIBU

I agree with the poster who told you to do a spreadsheet showing exactly who gave what and what you've refunded.

It really doesn't matter what you or I or any other poster would do in this situation, you have to deal with what the relatives are doing.

All you can do is explain the facts to the police and see where you go from there.

It’s very sad your daughter is ill.
It is terrible that she was abused.

But.

You need to give people back the money they have for this trip. The refund isn’t for backfilling your overdraft. Sell the equipment you bought, or make the items with it and sell them, to recoup your equipment costs, but you must give them back the monies they contributed.

I guess the question is why did you let her sign up for a hugely expensive holiday that you knew she was too ill to participate in? A sensible decision then would have saved arguement now.

People on here are very money orientated

Bottom line is you have used other peoples money to pay off your overdraft! You need to pay it back.

Im sorry but i can see why they’re angry
They gave your daughter money for a trip.
It was cancelled they didn't get their money back and your daughter-goes no contact.
The refund should have gone to all the people who put money in.
If there was abuse that’s awful, but then you shouldnt have taken their money if you were going to go nc.
They may have called the police rather than spoken to you as if your dauggter has gone nc, then they dont see the point of trying to speak to you.
I don’t think it shows they don’t care, they may have seen you get a refund, and are possibly wondering why they have not:
I hope your daughter is able to recover through this quickly.

You have received the same answers on this and your identical thread on AIBU. You were unreasonable to repay money to your own family and repay your own loan but nothing to the paternal side of the family. Your subsequent posts change nothing.

I have posted on your other thread. Doing a reverse to try and explain.

My neice is going on a trip. I want to support her so donate £100 towards that trip. Poor neice is ill so trip is cancelled. The money is no longer needed. But, no one has offered me my money back. I know her mum got a refund from the company. Why haven’t I at least been offered my money back.

You are morally in the wrong. It is clear to everyone who has responded to your posts.

Basically the OP prioritised paying her own family back and herself back and making the paretal side with nothing while her family get all there money back OP gets the majority of her money back her dads family get diddly squat.

Do you not see how it looks?