Supervised contact

[nattad]

A family member and her ex have been going through court regarding contact for their daughter (8).

I won't go into all the details, but child currently residing with father and mother sees child twice a week supervised.

In the order it states 'contact to be supervised by a senior member of the maternal family' I feel like this is open for interpretation, people we deem 'senior' in our family the fathers says no, not senior and has blocked everyone except the maternal grandmother from supervising contact, this is putting a massive strain on my family members relationship with her mother as she works full time and has other children and grandchildren.

Can my family member challenge this when they go back to court next week?

Forgot to add... order also states midweek contact 12-6. This is impossible as child is in school.

He can’t force a person to supervise contact, the courts can’t either. The person supervising is doing a favour they can’t be imposed on to do it.

I’d offer a list of people who would possibly be willing to supervise contact but not one specific person as they may not always be available.

Also definitely bring up the mid week contact being during school hours and it not being possible so you can change the time to outside of school hours.

He blocks contact if the person put forward isn't acceptable in his opinion. I will tell her to go into court next week with a list of people able to supervise.

Is he explaining why the people suggested are not suitable? Did the court say in the hearing what was meant by senior?

No, it seems to be a very badly worded order and from what I was told the whole hearing was a bit of a farce.

There are other issues so I don't think it will all be resolved at the next hearing, mainly that she's been ordered to do alcohol testing, which she has not done, mainly because she's been open with the courts and social services that she still drinks socially but has tackled what was becoming a dependence issue and the fact that they have asked for tests coving the past 6 months she feels she's being set up to fail as she's already admitted to drinking in that time.

He doesn't believe that anybody else put forward is senior enough.

They are not young teens, mid to late thirties. It's a right mess.

I think it's really strange wording for a court order and totally open for interpretation. It's put all of the power in his hands and my family member is feeling quite bullied by all services involved, her ex is also a social worker which makes it a little bit more intimidating for her.

Why the fuck is she drinking at all if the courts have ordered testing as a requirement of contact. I suspect your relative is in denial about her dependence if she is still choosing to drink.

I can't see the court buying her line about drinking. Sounds like a convenient excuse.

Yes I think she's aware she's fucked up and it isnt going to go down well at court.

The way she sees it either way she's fucked it, can do a test that will show excessive alcohol consumption over the past 6 months, for which she's already admitted or go in without one with her hands already up.

She has said if they ask for abstinence, she could do it but they want to cover a period where her drinking was a problem

She’s on the back foot here’s and should be doing everything she can to be able to see her children. That means abstinence without having to be ask and finding an appropriate supervisor.

She's got supervisors ready to go but he won't let them supervise.
And yes going in without alcohol testing is going to be a massive issue, from what I gather her issue with the testing is that the dates they want cover a period where she was drinking excessively and they know about this, as this is why the father took custody.

Well she needs to quit drinking completely. Have weekly tests from now to prove that, and maybe in six months time the court will re-assess her ability to have unsupervised contact. Then the issue of who can supervise disappears.

She should certainly question the weekday contact if that is during a school day. Maybe suggest keeping existing contact during holidays, and in term time having two tea-time contacts or a 3-8 pm contact if age appropriate.

She's aware it will stay as supervised contact while she sorts herself out, just hopeful that they will let her use other members of the family and friends to supervise as if her mum isn't available all the time and currently the way he interprets the order is that only her mum can do it.

I would happily help with supervision but he says I am not a senior member of the family and so will not allow me to.... I am 37 years old, I don't drink alcohol, have my own children and I've known this bloke for 13 years, I'm no stranger.

If the approved member is not available, has she suggested using a supervised contact centre? She needs to show willing here, not complain about being the victim.

She has but when she suggested it to her ex he said their daughter wouldn't like that 🤷🏻‍♀️