My mil is being taken advantage of.

[Aprilislonggone]

Just found out my ex mil has been moved (without much notice I believe) to her ds's house. She has I think been diagnosed with dementia and is classed as a vulnerable adult. Her other ds is not allowed to know where she is or speak to her. Exh has emptied her home, had it redecorated and put it up to let. Her other ds is next of kin and handled all fil affairs after his death 5 years ago. He is being told bluntly to piss off when trying to phone either of them.. I can I think get exh address for the ds to visit his dm but legally where does this leave poor exmil and her 'estate'? And morally my ds's can't see their dgm now as nc with their df.

Is the non contact son your ex husband, why is he not allowed to know where she lives or speak to her. Has anyone got legal power of attorney for her.

You can call social services if you think she is being neglected or abused in any way. What do you mean about her estate, nothing happens until she dies and the will if she has one is honoured.

OP this is a bit confusing.
Do you mean XH (DS1) has spirited XDMIL away and is keeping her from his brother, DS2 (your XBIL)?

To PPs I think the concern re the estate is that DS1/XH will have Power of Attorney and may be able to abuse her assets prior to her death - particularly since he is blocking DS1/DBIL from having any contact with DMIL and the manner of her sudden move to XH/DS1's home.
Call Social Services OP. Or at least the XBIL should. This may be a Court of Protection matter.
Is this it?

And XBIL is the nominated next of kin?

Exbil is next of kin and ruler of paperwork +Dr apps etc (whatever the legal term). Its exh who has moved her. He has a new address that nobody knows! And yes her bank card will have smoke coming off it knowing exh! I have advised exbil to visit the bank and report her cards being misused. And to ring Estate Agent and update them on the situation.

Do you mean that the brother in law has power of attorney for his Mum?

Yes!! My exh is a very crooked man tbh, an old spent criminal record for fraud, many illegal /immoral goings on for a long time, never caught though! Very clever. His dm is well aware of his behaviour - though obviously before the dementia , goodness knows what he has told her, my ds's are worried now they don't know where dgm is.

Contact the Protection of vulnerable adults team in your local social services dept, and state you believe your elderly frail ex mil is being financially abused by your ex.
They will have the legal power to locate her and investigate the allegations

I think I have a St name but no number. Presumably if i call his local council number to report they can check the electoral role?

Just another point. If there is a Power of Attorney in place, the office of the public guardian can disclose this to you if you make a request via should also be told if there are suspicions of financial abuse. They are in Birmingham, the number’s widely available and someone may be willing to take down your concerns.