Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Can he be made to have more access

2 replies

Sparkleec · 08/10/2018 09:44

Hello,
Hoping some people on here might be able to help me with this one. Basically I am wondering if my ex can be made to have a better and more access arrangement. The current situation is ridiculous and unworkable - my ex, when he has nothing better to do will message me to say he wants his daughter, giving a few days notice, then gets shirty if we have made plans (which quite often we will because we have a life). There is no routine, and quite often our daughter doesn't want to see him as there is no continuity. He will ask for her on days that I am at work also, which is near impossible for me to get her over there (we no longer live near eachother) after work leaving extremely limited time and hardly worth the journey. I put it to him recently that I thought we needed to be working towards an alternate weekend arrangement, and I would not oppose a mid week visit of him going to collect her here to take her out for tea or something (he seems to work less or finish earlier than me). But he will not do it and is not interested, leaving us in the same ridiculous situation. I am wondering if he could be made to have an alternate weekend arrangement and how I would go about this? Presumably I would need to take him to court, what are the steps I would need to go through and could apply and represent myself, or would I need a costly solicitor? Or could I just get an arrangement like this set up through a solicitor? I just don't know where to go. He used to have a similar arrangement set up years ago for an older child. I don't think expecting someone to commit to and be around for their child two days out of 14 is too much to ask and our daughter definitely needs the routine and to know when she will be seeing her daddy. Thank you and any help much appreciated.

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 08/10/2018 09:49

Why do you have to take her to see him? Surely it's up to him to come and get her if he wants to see her? Does she actually want to go to see him after school?

If it's not working he will have to apply to court for a defined contact order. And no, he can't be made to have contact EOW, but at least if it's a defined order, everyone knows where they stand and what to expect.

WerewolfNumber1 · 08/10/2018 10:05

You can’t make him have contact.

I’d suggest simply inform him that she is available for contact every other weekend, and don’t make special plans for those weekends.

If he chooses to have contact, he can do it then.

If he doesn’t like that situation it would be up to him to go to court - but realistically they’re only going to order something like every other weekend plus a midweek tea anyway. They’re never going to order that you make your child available whenever he demands it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page