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Original poster

How to get dad to engage in contact

11 replies

Jamielee444 · 30/09/2018 16:34

I have offered these things to my ex to help get contact up and running and to reintroduce him to my DD; phone calls, photographs, transition books, letters, supported handovers, supervised contact, facetime/ whatsapp, and sending her a toy.

He has refused to do any of these things and I'm now running out of things to suggest , can anyone think of anything else?
Info: There has been some DV, harrassment, my DD is 3, and contact and have previously been supervised at a contact centre but it was largely unsuccessful

OP posts:
AvoidingMarking · 30/09/2018 16:52

Sounds like he is not interested. He should be going out of his way to see her, and not you

weelis02 · 30/09/2018 16:54

You can't make him see his child unfortunately. As much as you want them to have a relationship

MrsBertBibby · 30/09/2018 20:10

Let it go. It sounds as if your daughter will be much better off without him.

Floyella · 30/09/2018 23:10

If he is violent, prone to harassment, and not interested in being a parent I'd say your daughter is better off without him.

I very rarely think that, but I can't see many upsides here!

Joe66 · 02/10/2018 01:14

You can force your daughter's father to pay maintenance but not to take any other responsibility sadly.

MissedTheBoatAgain · 02/10/2018 05:58

My situation complete opposite. Ex wife has told CMS that I have no contact and wants CM to be paid on basis she has child 365 days per year. However, wants my parents to look after Child during the School Holidays, 13 weeks per year or 25% of total time!. ie she wants the maximum maintenance, but minimum inconvenience?

ImTakingTheEssence · 02/10/2018 06:17

You can't make someone care. I've had years of this my dds father just wasn't interested only on birthdays and Christmas. Shes now 7 and hes with someone else there having there 2nd child together and she already has kids. I dont know if its easier for him now because he doesn't have to have her on his own. It does break my heart he has shown no interest yet is quite happy to raise 2 more kids. Good Luck!

megletthesecond · 02/10/2018 06:21

You can't I'm afraid. From the sound of it you're probably better off letting him cease contact.

AJPTaylor · 02/10/2018 06:32

Just leave it. Write yourself a note of all you have done to facilitate contact so you can show her when she is older.

Original poster
Jamielee444 · 21/11/2018 06:43

After not hearing from him for several months he's taking me back to court. I still don't know what he wants in terms of contact

OP posts:
MissMalice · 21/11/2018 07:54

It’ll be up to him to say specifically what it is he wants. You’ve done everything you can.

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