Ex husband stole my children

[Saraeast]

Urgent help needed. I lived with my husband and 4 children and everything was Ok until my husband decided to leave the marriage after I discovered his affair. He moved out and into his partners 2 bed flat over 1.5 hours away. For the first few months he didn't see the children much just 30 mins here and there. He kept offering to have them full time and offering that I go back to work. I declined each time. On 3rd March this year he came to visit the children and took them out, never to return. He then filed court papers saying I am neglectful of the children and is pushing for full residency. I did counterpapers. I didn't know where my children were. He applied for new school places and told their school they would not be returning, without my knowledge. I contacted the school was was told that and they seemed shocked I didn't know. My children are 2 4 6 and 8. I missed my son's 3rd birthday, mothers day and now find myself the subject of lies.
6 months on I am still fighting to have my children returned. I have visitation rights but am now bound by a court order and therefore can not snatch them back. My ex gave up his full time job on 38k a year the day he snatched my children and has now got the child benefit changed to himself, and managed to get a 3 bedroom house. Meanwhile I have lost my 3 bed house due to his actions. I have had to move into a 1 bed flat. The council said unfortunately I am only a 1 bed need but if I have my children returned then they will rehouse us.
My ex partner has liberal drug views and I have found 2 empty bags of cocaine with residue in after he moved out which I have kept as evidence - told social services bit they said they weren't taking any further action. The police don't seem to care just say speak to a solicitor as it is a civil matter. Legal aid took ages to kick in but is now kicked in. However I don't feel anyone is on my side. My barrister said yesterday that if I don't get a 3 bed house, and a vehicle then I am unlikely to get my children back. My ex partner has lied and cheated his way into this position and ruined my life. If he gets to keep my children now then how can there be any justice in this world? Surely it says that you can snatch children and turn their world upside down, take them away from their mother and get to keep them!

I'm sorry this is happening. Is he the biological father of the children?

There must be much more to it than your OP contains. Don't go in to more detail - it might be outing. You have legal representation and have a solicitor and barrister. Heed their advice.

So this contact order? Why don't you have them half the time? Whybhas he been granted custody after treating his children this way? It's am absolutely horrific way to treat his DCs, and he has no right to keep them apart from their DM, what has he said thats meant you can't have your DC equally? Bearing in mind you were their main carer all their lives until march?

You have a barrister, but are you getting the information you need? Is itba specialist barrister experienced in reuniting DC when snatched?

An organisation called Rights of Women will take calls on this and give free legal advice.

He clear ly doesn't give a crap about the well-being of his kids to treat them this way. I can't imagine how they feel at being snatched away from everything they know like this.

Are you in the UK ? I am perplexed by this post. If you have been the main and competent carer for all the children since birth, how on earth did he get full residence and you only have 'visitation'. The worst case scenario in this set up would have been 50/50 care. Why did the judge only award you visits ? What was the judges reason not to award you 50/50 ?

Agreed- this is all very odd. It’s a worry that you have Legal Aid but you still don’t feel like anyone is advising you. How was your legal team chosen? Why don’t you feel like you can talk to them?

It's really not unheard of to have an uncommunicative or unhelpful barrister, II hear it a lot, they go in and make deals on your behalf instead of laying down exactly what you are asking for.

My barrister was so caught up with listening to them and being in a room with them that I, the client, had not an effing clue what was going on. It happens, a lot especially in da situations, which, lets face it, is who a father is if he behaves this way.

I hope you are OK, and are getting good advice from other sources?

How did you end up losing your house? Council / housing associations don't tend to throw you out for under occupancy like this in that time frame? Or were your privately renting and couldn't afford the rent of a larger one?

How did the council evict you from your home and how did you get a 1 bed flat all within 6 months ?

Surely her HB would stop if he's claiming for all the DC, her bedrooms empty and no means to pay? Rehouse into flat?

The world is indeed crap if you can't have your children back just because you don't 'have a vehicle and 3 bedroom house'.. That's bullocks, I'm sorry, but change barrister. You need someone who will fight for you! Not knock you back! FFS.

This does happen, like this, more than many are aware. It really does, and its all done so quick, and truly shocking that police cannot trace the DC immediately and reinstate with DM whilst all other stuff sorted through court, but how is this still going on!
You can trace them using a seek and find order. You can call their schools and be updated on their general well-being and school progress. You can contact GP as there DM and discuss their well-being, check they have a regular dentist. All these things should be in place if they are being well looked after. Give schools/GPS/dentists/HV your contact deets.

HB doesn’t stop because you have children

ivy HB stops when there are no DC filling bedrooms, OP is right about 1 bedroom need and HB would be paid on that one bedroom afaik

HB doesn’t stop but change if circumstances would mean that op would receive £14 less for each extra bedroom. But op could have put in for DHP to help with cost

There's a massive difference between 1/2/3/ bed house HB...it's not £14 its £100's? ivy maybe it's a regional thing?

If you live in a housing association house which has three bedrooms but you are on your own, you will pay approx £14 per week for each under occupied bedroom. You'd be unlikely to be allocated a three bedroom house if you live on your own but if you circumstances change, as in the OPs case as long as you could make up the shortfall you wouldn't be evicted. And, as previously mentioned you could apply for discretionary housing payments to cover the shortfall. You application would probably be looked at favourably in the OP s situation as she would hope to have her children back with her in the foreseeable future.

She's in a housing assn prop then? Oh, I didn't read that sorry. Don't know about that.