Contact order

[weaningwoe]

Okay, child aged 11 is in Year 7. Just started Comprehensive School.

Mum lives in one area, Dad lives in another area approximately 5 miles away from each other. CAO says child spends 60% time with Dad and 40% time with Mum. Child therefore is in school in Dads catchment. Mum has younger child who is in school, obviously in Mums area.
Dad provides Mum with a payment to cover transport costs for child.
Mum would rather Dad drop off and collect child from her on school days. Dad is not able to do this due to working commitments.

Mum thinks Dad is being unreasonable and obstructing.

What would family court say about this situation if it was to go back, do you think? So wrapped up in it now that it’s hard to tell who’s right anymore.

Are you saying that Mum wants the child to sleep at Dad's house, then be delivered to her house so that she can take the child to school (which is near Dad's house) and she then wants to pick the child up from school, take the child to her house and Dad to then pick up from her house? If that is what she wants, it sounds bonkers. Far more sensible for Dad to take the child to school and pick the child up from school. I cannot see any benefit to the child from being made to do all this extra travelling. Unless there are other factors in play, I would expect the courts to rule in favour of the father.

Sorry; haven’t explained that very well.

Say Mum’s days are Monday and Tuesday. She would like Dad to pick child up from school on Monday, take child to Mums. Child would sleep at Mums Monday night, and then Dad pick up child on Tuesday morning and take them to school again, and then back to Mums after school.

Does that make sense?

That is less bonkers. But I still don't see the courts agreeing too it. Getting the child to and from school on her days is her problem. She should take the child herself, send the child on public transport, get a friend to do it - there are plenty of options. She can't insist that Dad does it and the courts won't make him.

Thank you. Glad to have an outsiders perspective.

Agree with pp.
don't understand the payment to Mum if she only has 40%?

Dad pays for transport but mum wants him to do the driving. Delusional and a waste of court time.

Is it the having to get 2 children to 2 different schools at the same time aspect that the mum is struggling with? If so, I think she has a point, and would suggest that rather spending the money on court fees or transport payment, that they use the money for a taxi to take the older boy to school and back, until he is old/mature enough to do the journey on the bus.

No. They are the mothers responsibility on the two days she has them. She is responsible for their transport and transfer to and from school to her house. Dad is a mug to be paying for transport, or doing anything on these days. I assume you are dads new partner?

It was agreed that as Dad receives Child Benefit, he is to pay transport to Mum for her to use as she sees fit - bus, taxi, lift from friend.

She’s struggling with two schools, yes. It’s not a new issue though, CAO has been in place for a long time. Dad has another child also.

Yes, I’m Dads partner. Not that new though.

Money for transport was written into the court order. I agree that it’s less than fair.

Totally understand that Mum is struggling but outside of our control.

What is her objection to the child taking a taxi?

She doesn’t have an objection to it, but wants Dad to pay for it. In a two week period, we’re talking around £70 in taxi fare, without taking into account higher fares after waiting in traffic etc. £140 a month is a bit excessive, I think.

If it’s not a new issue then what’s changed? How was the child transported to their previous school?

She was. Then when her other child started school in her area she said she couldn’t do it anymore so would I do it. I did for a couple of months, newborn in tow. Made her aware it wasn’t plausible long term as I would have to go back to work eventually etc.

At the time, I said I would do it without thinking really. Should have pointed her in the direction of the schools after school club but I don’t think she would have wanted to pay for it.

Sorry, I cant give you any specific advice as there are a lot of factors involved. I think your dp should speak to his solicitor for clarification.

We’ve been backwards and forwards to court with dps ex wife for some similar reasons and one thing that we were told (I’ll try and explain) was that if something regular happens but is not written in the court order, and has carried on for a certain amount of time, then it becomes the default. I don’t know how long you were doing the school run but it’s something your dp would need to speak to his solicitor about. I’d also try to get clarification re the transport payment ie if was there a stipulation regarding a monetary amount or not.

In the meantime I would try and get the child familiar with taking the bus/train, as if it comes to it and the mum is tasked with getting him to school on her days, I can foresee his punctuality falling if she has to get her younger dc to school first.

Thank you anyway.

Interesting about the default situation though - leaves it quite unfairly balanced then. Her with a lot of leeway and us with none. As it stands, there is no physical way of us being able to get DSS to his Mum, i go to work with the car approximately 10 minutes after DP gets in.

I highly doubt she will try and take it back to court, it has been 6 or so years since they’ve been there and she won’t have the option for legal aid, I don’t think.

The money payment is fairly black and white - the price of X Day Bus Passes, dependant on the number of days that week. DP just pays for his DS’ travel, not Mums.

I realise that it’s a right pain for her but we tried to help out whilst we could but it’s just not possible anymore.

One thing we did - i don’t know if it’s something you’re able/willing to do, was let the mother claim the child benefit - by doing this she was able to apply for child/working tax credits (we were only just over the threshold for qualifying whereas she was a single parent working part time) which gave her extra money to pay for childcare (one of our issues were to do with keeping a place open at the childcare providers on the days we had the dc - neither of us were in the wrong really but that’s a whole separate story that I won’t bore you with) and resolved the issue as it took a lot of the financial pressure off of her. If your dp is giving her the equivalent of the child benefit anyway would it Make much of a difference?

She’s made lots of claims for child benefit in the past. At one point, she was claiming child benefit, my DP was still paying her the bus money and she still didn’t pay anything towards his school uniform or anything. When DP asked if she was claiming it as DWP wouldn’t say why it had been stopped on his end, she said that she wasn’t.

Bit worried she would change his school etc too if she was on there as RP.