Has anyone remained in family home without buying ExH out?

[Ruralbliss]

I'm trying to encourage my STBXH to make me an house equity ratio offer I can't refuse by suggesting that if he doesn't I will not consider selling my lovely home until 3-5 years and instead will have the ownership transferred to me and he will have to wait for his share in the equity.

I've read and confirmed that this is A Thing but curious to know how it works in practice. What are the logistics of getting this in place.

As far as I see it he can
(a) take a lower proportion of the equity in exchange for getting his mittens on some cash and the ability to buy a place. I would get a higher share for the pain of selling (plus I have the 3 children to house & invested £250k into the marriage through inheritance, high salaries, redundancy and property purchases)
Or
(b) wait for me and the children to 'be ready' to move in 3-5 years when we will sell the house and STBX would get a higher share for the pain of waiting.

Could anyone with views or experience please comment as I can't wrap my head round getting his name off the mortgage but he has to wait for his lump sum

Thanks in advance

Good luck with that tactic if he has a half way decent solictor they will tell him to take it to court and he could easily get a order forcing sale.

If you are obstructive you can be removed from the process aka you would have NO say in offers placed and the court could remove you from the home if you decided to make the house unsellable.

Oh they can also award him a higher % of the equality if you mess around and drag your feet until you are ready to move out.

So while you may think your idea is a good one it might backfire on you as if you force it to court the only winners are solicitors or people with unreasonable soon to be ex's.

So while you may think your idea is a good one it might backfire on you as if you force it to court the only winners are solicitors or people with unreasonable soon to be ex's.

My ex dragged her feet for almost 2 years and stayed in Family home at my cost. Only thing she paid for was food. Judge reduced my proposed settlement figure to reflect she had lived for free for 2 years and most of my legal costs were deducted from the settlement figure too. Outcome was that Ex had to take out a mortgage to house herself. Had she not involved legal and been sensible there would have been enough capital available for her to buy a house outright.

I will never be able to work out how she could not understand that they more that was spent on legal the less there would be at the end for Courts to share out?

worridmum Unless you know something about OP's situation that doesn't appear on this thread there is no way at all that you can tell that "he can easily get an order forcing sale".

There is so much misinformation appearing on some of these threads.

Thanks all. At this early stage we are attempting to be amicable and working on the general principle that we would rather the other party receive more cash than paying for endless solicitors and through the courts squabbling.

He also is adamant that he does not wish to turf me and the children out of the family home but nor does he want to want for a share of equity beyond 3-5 years (I think this is reasonable)

The thing he doesn't know if that I'm completely fine with selling up and downshifting with the kids IF it means I get a bigger share of the lolly.

He married me a year before I sold my London flat which had tripled in value since I bought it. This, plus various other windfalls I have had and the fact that I would have to buy a house big enough to house the kids make me feel confident I can convince him that he should agree to a lower share than 50% but waiting to see what he will offer.

In the meantime if we agree that my staying in the house for a few years & him not getting the courts to turf me out what is the process/logistics if it isn't buying him out up front....?

Thanks!

50/50 is a starting point and if you are housing the children it is quite common for a 60/40 or even 70/30 split in your favour depending on incomes too.

This can be done via a consent order as part of the divorce which basically means a judge will (or not) approve the settlement. Shouldn't be an issue providing it's fair to both parties.