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3 replies

GeorgiePirate · 15/09/2018 12:12

Hello, I wonder if someone would be kind enough to advise me please? It's 2 months since my relationship with my partner broke down due to his affair. He has remained with his affair partner and unfortunately we now have to co parent our young (toddler aged) daughter. Things are quite tense between us and he lives / works over 100 miles away. He will not permit any access to his house (I am under the impression OW lives with him now). His family (parents) live 3 hours away from me and our child. We met and conceived very soon after he and his exW separated. Their divorce was granted 2 years ago. He has refused to allow his children (from his marriage) to meet our daughter and we met his parents for the first time last Christmas as he had concealed our child's existence from them too. He started his affair 11 months ago and the OW has been living a life with him and his 3 children from his marriage at his home.

Due to the distance between our respective homes I asked him to visit our child at my home and book himself into a travelodge ( or similar) so if the weather is poor he could take our child to watch TV, read, colour etc. He originally agreed to 9-5 days to give me time to complete my PhD thesis (I also work FT). Today he has stated in an email that it is unreasonable for him to travel / stay locally and that he should be able to take our child to his house for w/e and to his family for visits. I have maintained an independent relationship with his parents and take our child to visit once / twice a year.

I am aware that I am furious with him but I am anxious about such a young child (already in nursery FT) should be shuttled up and down the motorway for visits. He is extremely wealthy so paying for a hotel room 1-2 month is not beyond his means.

What is reasonable legally please?

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 15/09/2018 22:51

If you can agree arrangements between you that would be preferable to getting the law involved. If it did end up in court they would made a decision based on your daughter's best interests. There are no hard and fast rules. However, when parents live some distance apart the courts normally order less frequent but longer periods of contact. You cannot control what he does with your daughter when she is with him or where he takes her. Your attempt to insist that all contact takes place at or near your home is unlikely to persuade the court.

GeorgiePirate · 16/09/2018 05:58

Thank you for your response, it is really helpful.

OP posts:
GeorgiePirate · 16/09/2018 11:03

Sorry, I forgot to add that whilst my exP has integrated his OW into a relationship with his 3 other children, the majority of his contact with those children occurs at their home which is 2.5 hours away from my exP. This was agreed in mediation as part of his divorce. Would this make a difference to my situation?

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