Family law advice needed please

[Jaffacakesarelife]

I have a 3 year old DS (nearly 4). His father and I (ex partner never married) split up well over a year ago. I have a new partner and I have just found out I’m pregnant.

Out of respect to my ex partner I sat down with him and told him last night about the baby and I also wish to move about 40 minutes away to provide both DS1 and the baby with a more secure financial future. I do not plan to alter anything about DS1 contact with his dad. Because of my job as a teacher he will remain at nursery and go to school where we currently live to enable his dad to keep up his regular contact and also to allow him ease of access to school based functions.

My ex partner went ballistic and told me that I can’t move and he’s going to stop me. He also called me a slut and told me I had to terminate my unborn child because it was in DS1 best interest.

I guess my question is can I move what I consider to be this reasonable distance away if I have clearly stated (which I have) that his contact will not change and DS1 will remain at a nursery and school (at least for the time being) where he is settled and comfortable. I cannot take the stress of court (I’ve recently had pregnancy complications and have been asked to keep the stress to a minimum.

Thank you in advance for any words of advice.

Unless he gets a court order stopping you from moving you can do whatever you want. Even if he does take it to court, based on the information you have given here I don't give much for his chances.

He's a CF isn't he? And no, no court will stop you moving 40 minutes away, and he can't stop you otherwise! I can't see how it will inconvenience him anyway.

So are you applying for a school place based on where you now live and then planning to move? 40 minutes will be a lot of travelling for a reception aged child both ways each day that he's staying with you. I guess your ex suspects that won't last for long. Should you decide to change school on the future, your ex could try and stop you.

I currently work at the school that I am applying to, I love my job and that’s not going to change any time soon. (For any teachers you know how hard it is to find a truly supportive school. I’m also willing to do it so my ex partner keeps his contact as he does now. My child travels well and he will be able to be with me in the classroom before and after school. I have stated in my communication with my ex that this will continue for as long as DS1 is happy and settled where he is.

This was my thought but he mentioned he could get an emergency prohibited steps order stopping me from going more than 15 miles away.

I moved my children 120 miles from their father. He made life difficult and shouted lots about court and a prohibitive steps order but the reality was he couldn't stop us going and I had bent over backwards to facilitate him maintaining regular contact. It's only natural for them to be upset about the change but it sounds like you too are taking steps to maintain that contact so he really doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Have you considered the impact a new baby may have on the arrangements you think will continue? You will be on maternity leave and having to do the school run for 3.5 hours a day...?

You'll just have to call his bluff, won't you, OP?