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Original poster

Family Law advice

12 replies

Blackladybug · 02/09/2018 17:15

Hi,

I'm hoping someone could possibly help.

I've had a letter from my son's dad's solicitor asking about arrangements.

I don't have a solicitor and can't afford one, but I have written a reply to the solicitor. I just wondered if there was a family solicitor/lawyer, who could possibly take a look at it for me before I send it? I'd be so so grateful!

Thanks

OP posts:

JustAnotherLawyer · 02/09/2018 18:36

Post it up.

Original poster

Blackladybug · 02/09/2018 20:36

Could I possibly PM please? There's quite a bit of detail in it. Thanks

OP posts:

JustAnotherLawyer · 03/09/2018 13:48

No, sorry. I only assist on the forum so that any pointers given can be accessed by others with similar issues.

Original poster

Blackladybug · 04/09/2018 13:43

That's fine, basically, my DS is 17months, I've received a letter asking for his Dad, my XBF to have contact with DS at XBF house, it also asks me to sign a parental agreement as he isn't on the birth certificate. He has told his solicitor that there are no safeguarding issues with regards to him seeing our son.

I have a social services report recommending that any contact he has with DS should be supervised. I've tried to supervise but because XBF was argumentative, and previously verbally abusive to me, it's not working, he will agree to things then do the opposite in contact even though he KNOWS those things make me anxious.

So I'm thinking of writing a letter saying that I don't agree to that contact and why, I'm happy to include a copy of the social services report. Of giving a bit of background into the reasons why I can
't supervise anymore. That I'm not happy to sign the parental agreement and why. And put forward proposals of him having contact at a contact centre or similar. As well as some indirect contact, photos, videos Tec. My main concern is of saying too much. Is this possible? I plan on being concise and sticking to fact rather than going into 'he said/she said" territory. But I feel like it should be explained why things have broken down like they have.

Any advice would be great

OP posts:

5Makes9 · 04/09/2018 15:03

Presumably the social services report explains why unsupervised contact is unsuitable. I’d keep it really brief - say unsupervised isn’t suitable as per attached report and then put your proposal.

JustAnotherLawyer · 04/09/2018 21:39

That is absolutely reasonable, particularly since you have evidence from professionals that contact should be supervised.

Look up a few contact centres in your area, find out the cost, and add that information to the letter you send and state that you are happy for him to choose the one he prefers and you will make the child available. Indirect contact is also a good idea.

It is not reasonable for you to supervise the contact and no one will expect you to. His only other option is to take the matter to court where the court will take into consideration what you offered and the professional's viewpoint on supervised contact and would very likely order exactly that. I would expect his solicitor to advise him to take what is offered as a starting point.

There will need to be a plan for progression from supervised contact at some stage.

Original poster

Blackladybug · 05/09/2018 09:59

Thank you, that's really helpful. I've had the letter a week, and I'm planning to send my response once I've found out contact centre details. Is this ok? I wasn't sure if I needed to respond sooner.

How will the plan for progression be made? Will that involve children's services?

Also, as the assessment relates to my other child from a different relationship, is it acceptable to blank out the parts concerning her? As I don't really want him having information about her ect.

And thank you, really appreciate your help

OP posts:

JustAnotherLawyer · 05/09/2018 10:40

If Children's Services have written in a report that Father should only have supervised contact, they should also have made recommendations for how that contact would progress. If they haven't, then the court would ask them to update their report if it ended up in court.

You can definitely blank out all references to your other child, it isn't relevant for Father to have access to that information.

There is no time limit on responding to a solicitor's letter - 14 days is reasonable, but so might 21 days be in your specific circumstances...but obviously the sooner you let them know you're not in agreement, the sooner they can take further instructions from the Father.

Secondwivesbeware · 08/09/2018 16:54

Hi

I am representing myself in a divorce proceedings. Has anyone gone through this process? Would love to hear from you. Once you have completed form A and send it to court, is it then acceptable to email the court papers to exH solicitors or does it have to be sent by post with proof of posting. Thank you.

bastardkitty · 08/09/2018 17:09

Also when I received a series of letters from different solicitors I was told I did not have to reply. If you do reply, keep it very brief. You don't have to send the information. You can state that you have documentation from social care stating and contact would have to be supervised. Personally, I would ignore the part that requests your signature for parental responsibility.

Original poster

Blackladybug · 12/09/2018 09:15

Sent off the letter yesterday, now just need to wait and see! Thanks again for all your advice.

OP posts:

Natbernice · 17/09/2018 19:32

Sorry if I'm posting in the wrong place but I can't see where to ask my own question... Basically I'm looking to change my son's surname from his father's to mine dad has parental responsibility and has said if my son wants to change to my name he will let him the children don't see him as he's a violent drug addictthere was violence and emotional abuse towards me and also emotional abuse to the children I have told him if he wants access he has to show me consistent clean drug tests as he thought nothing of being on drugs around the children and he has regularly been violent whilst on drugs so I said he has to be clean and get help for anger issues before he comes any where near... Anyway back to the name change we are both willing to sign but I'm really confused which website/service to use, I have found loads of deed pol websites and then there's the government website with the government website you have to pay for solicitors etc where as with the normal deed poll websites we just do a covering letter or fill out a form and both sign it and it's done. What I'm trying to ask is are the regular deed poll websites ok to use or do I need to do it through the government website and pay for solicitors etc... So confused thanks in advance for any advice

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