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Legal matters

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Family law advice

5 replies

Misswhitman · 31/08/2018 19:52

My ex partner has a history of driving under the influence both on nights out and the morning after. We split a month ago after I found out he used cocaine on one of his bi(sometimes tri) weekly alcohol binging sessions. He has been seeing our 5 month old child twice a day at my home and never had any complaints. His mother also visited her grandchild at my home without him present. Last week I fell out with his mum when she refused to stop kissing my son on the mouth despite repeated requests. She no longer wants to see my son around me. This has led to my ex requesting to take him to the garden centre for an hour once a week so that she can see him. I have been driving him there and waiting in the car park to drive him home afterwards. Today he mentioned further unsupervised access and I said I would be happy to but I want him to take a drugs test first. He completely flew off the handle and said what he does isn't my business as we aren't together and that I'm being spiteful. I wondered if anyone had experienced similar and has any idea what my next steps should be/what the outcome is likely to be. I have already made a report to social services when I found out about his use. They closed the case satisfied that I am doing everything I can to protect my child but told me to seek legal advice should he want unsupervised. I'm just terrified about him having him alone.

OP posts:
user1498854363 · 31/08/2018 19:57

Op, others will be more experienced but I suggest at this point No to unsupervised visits. He is lucky to get what he has.

Baby is very small, grandparent has no right and will do what she wants when u are not there, refuse access if you want, it’s only parents who have rights.

Get a lawyer re access, he needs to take you to court if he wants it court ordered, and you need to provide evidence of why he shouldn’t have more or unsupervised access.

What could you agree with mediation?

What do you think is good ?

Winebottle · 31/08/2018 20:37

Taking cocaine on a night out, while the child was not in his care, is not going to be enough of a reason in court. Why do you think he is a danger?

Misswhitman · 31/08/2018 21:20

All I want is a court ordered drugs test so that I can have the peace of mind that I'm not endangering my child. I also wouldn't want social services to think I was complicit hence the report. I honestly don't believe it was a one off, once I found out about it a lot of unusual behaviour made sense. He's always been a heavy drinker and I put a lot down to alcohol poisoning but a come down makes a lot more sense. If a drugs test came back negative I'd be happy for him to have unsupervised, providing he didn't show up on a Saturday morning smelling of alcohol which he invariably would. I just want to feel like my child is safe with his dad.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 01/09/2018 07:43

Stick to your guns OP. If he takes it to court drug and alcohol tests can be ordered although the cost has to be met by someone. You might have enough from SS to get you legal aid though.

The courts will take cocaine and alcohol use pretty seriously with such a young baby.

See a legal aid lawyer. Show them the documentation from SS. They will tell you if they need more.

Misswhitman · 01/09/2018 07:58

Thank you that's such a relief! I just didn't want to stop him from having unsupervised then get to court to have it viewed unfavourably.

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