Hi just looking for a bit of advice and other people's opinions on this.
I split with my ex when ds was 2 weeks old, he's almost 1 now. My ex drinks a lot and when ds was a few days old he took him out in the car early hours of the morning after drinking all night. I was unaware at the time as was grabbing a couple of hours sleep. I ended the relationship as I had been unhappy for a long time. My ex has always had contact with DS for around 3-4 hours on a Saturday and Sunday. I was not willing to increase this due to his drinking (he wanted overnights etc). We got into an argument over contact in April & he tried to run off with ds an said he was keeping him, I ran after him to stop him and he assaulted me while he was holding ds. He was arrested but no further action.
He has since taken me to court as my solicitor advised I should stop contact until there is a court order in place for him to return ds. We have been to court twice now and there is now a CAO in place, as my ex hasn't seen ds since April and cos of his young age contact is to start in a contact centre for 4 weeks then he is allowed to see ds on his own on a sat and sun 1 week for 5 hours each day. Then the following weekend a Sunday for 5 hours. We are back at court in November to see how things are going. The court have also ordered 6 months worth of alcohol tests as he drinks every night.
My ex is ultimately seeking to increase contact and will include overnights. This is terrifying me as he drinks every night and that is the reason I ended the relationship so early after ds was born as I do not want it around him. My ex has also never handled a baby before our ds was born and with us splitting up so early on he hasn't done a lot with the baby. Never bathed him etc he has also never fed him actual food and admits himself he doesn't know what to do. I honestly don't know how he is going to look after ds as he doesn't know anything. Me and him have no contact and haven't for a long time due to DV.
The thing I am wanting advice on is how quickly would you want overnights to start because I know for a fact he is going to ask for ds overnight at Christmas and his drinking is worse than ever then. At the moment we are waiting for contact centre to start which is 4 weeks then he will prob see ds around 5 weeks on his own before we are back at court in November. But how soon should overnights happen?
My solicitor says if tgese alcohol tests come back high just don't agree to overnights until his drinking is sorted out as my ex would literally be on his own overnight with ds with no back up and he wakes frequently through the night so he'd need to not drink. Ds has no voice of his own so this scares the kids out of me as it's what a court decides not us. I am actually shocked that they've only have 4 weeks in a contact centre considering ds was only 7 months old last time he seen him and now he's almost 1. It doesn't seem long and then for him to have him on his own after that am worried ds will look for me as he's never been away from me.
Do people agree with my solicitor and say no to overnights until he sorts drinking out?
If you've read this far thank you very much lol