Advice Please - Can't Get Through To CAB!

[StickTheKettleOnDear]

Bit of background - I am signed off work currently with depression and anxiety.

My work have had me in for 2 meetings since I went off. The first one was very informal and was just a chat to see how I was doing and what I was doing to help myself get back. It was described to me as "a catch-up" and I had to take my baby in to work with me and leave them on the call centre floor with a colleague when I went in.

They asked me in again a month later, and I imagined the same thing. Again it was painted to me as "another catch-up" but the tone of this one was very different.

At this meeting they handed me the work "Maximising Attendance Policy" which has paragraphs in it which include talking about how when a team is understaffed it can lead to problems including slow response times, customer dissatisfaction, reduced team morale and a long list of other things, and also how an employee has a resonaibility to attend work and meet their contractual agreements. Now whilst I know this is the case, it just feels like i was a bit blindsided being handed this and it feels like it's put me back a step. In addition to this they asked for access to my medical records which I agreed to (no reason not to) and also asked me for fortnightly contact with them to update them on how I'm doing (my sick notes are for 4 weeks) They also want me to start going in an hour here and there and keep asking me repeatedly when I speak to them when I am going to start doing this. After the second meeting was over a couple days later I received a letter about the meeting I'd already had inviting me to a welfare meeting, it was dated the day before the meeting so obviously was never going to be there in time for me going, but I feel as though even if I'd had that in time I'd at least have been prepared for the formality.

When I was next back at the doctors I explained the situation to them and explained how I had been trying my hardest to get back to work but now I just felt stressed and anxious about it and had ended up feeling a bit ganged up on. The doctor said that I should go to CAB for advice. She hinted that they should probably have offered me the opportunity to take someone in with me to the meetings, and certainly that I shouldn't have been expected to take a baby with me (don't have any childcare)

I can't afford to get legal advice other than CAB but can't get hold of them. I have another meeting with them in 2 weeks.

Sorry for the long post, just wondering if anybody has any insight.

It's very unusual that you were required to bring your child. You can be required to attend meetings, and your sickness policy should say whether you can bring someone with you, and that policy should also explain how they are permitted to ask you to keep in touch. It sounds like they are trying to begin planning a phased return to work for you, and want you to be part of that process.

You can be required to attend meetings, either formal or informal ones, so it is worth thinking about what other childcare options you could explore (do you use childcare when working usually, or do you work opposite hours to a partner so they cover it?) Perhaps have a chat to your health visitor about what childcare they might recommend if you don't have a friend or relative who could help for an hour? I have known people bring their child and friend with them to a meeting, then child and friend go off for a walk or something, and come back at the end of the meeting - so it keeps the time away from the parent as short as possible.

If the process your employer is using becomes formal (disciplinary or performance) then they will need to follow their own policy, which should abide by ACAS guidelines. For formal meetings you should get a certain amount of notice, you can submit your own information ahead of time, and you can have someone to accompany you (but sometimes the policy says it needs to be another employee or a union representative). From what you've written, it doesn't sound like they have started a formal process. It sounds like they are trying to make a concrete plan towards coming back to work gradually.

Thank you for the reply sorry just seen it. My parents will be watching the baby when I do go back to work, but they were away on a trip for a few weeks when this first meeting happened.

I just feel so under pressure from it all and I'm really stressing out about it. It feels like they just want constant contact with me when I'm signed off trying to focus on getting myself in a position to go back. I've been signed off for 2 months and they've had contact with me every 2 weeks since I went off asking for updates when I don't actually have anything to update them on.

I was looking forward to getting back and was working hard to get myself there and now I feel totally overwhelmed and want to cry thinking about it. It's not formal yet as far as I know.

Are you being paid whilst off sick or not? If you weren't ill you would see wanting to keep in touch every 2 weeks is a very reasonable fair requirement which in many cases helps the employee stay in touch and get back into work as some people end up off so long they never properly get back into work and are lost to employment sometimes forever so the keeping in touch is really good for your benefit (but you cannot see it like that because of your mental state which sounds very difficult for you). it may be looking after the baby is also hard for you and that you have PND. Did you go back to work after the baby was born and for how long before you went off sick and did you have the same mental issues at home after the baby was born?

Hi,

I've not been back at work since having the baby, I've went from maternity on to sick.

Originally I was getting 2 week lines, and the doctor started upping them 2

Sorry, pressed send too soon...

So originally I was getting 2 week lines and the doctor upped them to 4 weeks to give me a bit of breathing space - the idea being that if work was taken out of the equation then I'd be able to focus myself on getting in to the right headspace to get better. But this just feels like they want constant contact. I could understand the contact if it was to see how I am etc but it's basically every two weeks like "when are you coming in for some days?" I just don't know yet. I feel like they're contacting me and I have nothing to tell them because nothings changed.

I guess it must just be the correct way of doing things after all, but it just feels so full on. I was looking forward to going back once I was in the right zone, and now I feel so pressured to just go back even though I'm not ready

Sorry forgot to add I'm getting statutory sick pay at the moment.

If you have post natal depression can I suggest you have a quick chat with an equality employment lawyer as depression comes within the equality act and pnd affects only women so you may be being discriminated against. PM me for a name, she may speak to you for a quick chat on the phone and if you don't want to return to work can negotiate an exit strategy for you. Fees can be cfa.