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Original poster

Urgent - ex husband took my kids without consent!

27 replies

MumtoLO · 20/08/2018 16:52

Hi there,

Two weeks ago my ex husband took my kids from Scotland (where I just relocated), to England without my consent. I told him he could see the children for three hours but when I went to pick them up at the allotted time at the meet up place he didn't bother showing up. He messaged me over an hour later saying he had taken the kids to England and no mention of when he's bringing them back.

Since then I have been in touch with many different legal firms both in England and Scotland to try and get this settled with no hope. I was just wondering if any of you have ever been in this sort of situation and how you dealt with it.

One of my lawyers told me to file a C100 form to the courts where he is in England, have any of you done that before?

Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

OP posts:
Reaa · 20/08/2018 17:00

Do you have any kind of contact order stating who the children live with?

Im assuming he has parental responsibility, there for the police can only do a welfare check.

Xenia · 20/08/2018 17:03

Did you take them to live in Scotland without permission? I am trying to work out which of you moved them to a different country without consent of the other parent.

Sunshineintheclouds · 20/08/2018 17:03

So he has had them for 2 weeks and you haven't even been to court yet???

You need to get down to your local court they will give you the appropriate forms to fill in and sit there for an urgent hearing today!!
The longer you leave it the higher chance of him gaining residence o the children especially if he gets them in a school etc.

keepingbees · 20/08/2018 17:10

Do you have any court orders in place?
If not, and if he has parental responsibility, then legally I don't think there's much you can do as he hasn't broken the law.
I would apply for an emergency family court hearing to see what you put in place. If you get a residency or prohibited steps order to say the children must be with you and not removed, then it turns into a legal matter if broken and I think the police can then get involved to return the children.
I always understood that any court hearing should take place in the court local to where the children reside.

notapizzaeater · 20/08/2018 17:11

Has he got parental responsibility ? Why would you move to Scotland and only let him see them for 3 hours ?

sexnotgender · 20/08/2018 17:11

I assume they are his children too?

ApolloandDaphne · 20/08/2018 17:16

You need to give us more info. Is there a court order in place? Has he got parental responsibility? Why have you moved so far away then only allowing him 3 hours contact?

Ginger1982 · 20/08/2018 17:16

Need more info.

Original poster
MumtoLO · 20/08/2018 18:20

Wow thanks for all the info, I guess my post was a little vague.

We had decided to move to Scotland from overseas, all of us meaning him as well. He moved to the UK three months prior to me because the children needed to finish their schooling before I could move to the UK. The reason for the three hours was because my children had just got off a very long flight the previous day so I knew they would be jet lagged and tired.

What he made me believe was that he was moving to Scotland too, so three hours seems fair when he would be living in the same town and would have as much access as possible.

As for parental agreements, I have principal/primary control of the children so he is in fact in breach of that.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 20/08/2018 18:23

Have you spoken to him or your children since they left? Do you know where they are?

Original poster
MumtoLO · 20/08/2018 18:30

He sends me messages daily saying that the children do not want contact with me even though they have expressed that they do.

I have no idea where they are and it's really concerning.

OP posts:
FruHagen · 20/08/2018 18:38

Call Reunite

Charity who can help you immediately

ny20005 · 20/08/2018 18:38

Have you sought any legal / police advice in the last 2 weeks ?

Children in Scotland are all back at school now - were they due to start in new schools ?

tribpot · 20/08/2018 18:40

So if you had a court order in place, it would be a court order from an overseas court? What is it that he is in breach of? Are you divorced or separated?

Why have you been in touch with so many firms? It sounds like the advice is to apply for a court order in this country (the C100). Is the difficulty that you need to know which court to apply to? Looking at the form online, it seems you are required to go to mediation first, but I would have thought a welfare check was appropriate given you have no idea where your children are.

meadowmeow · 20/08/2018 18:42

How old are the children?

Do you know where he is?

Can you go and get them?

Original poster
MumtoLO · 20/08/2018 18:43

I have already contacted reunite and they have been super helpful, I have sought legal advice as well but all the lawyers are unsure if the action should be filed in Scotland or England.

The police will not get involved because they say it is a civil matter although I can't see how this isn't classed as abduction.

Schools in Scotland started last week on Wednesday so they have now missed four days of school. I have informed him on numerous occasions but he doesn't seem to care.

OP posts:
myusernameblewaway · 20/08/2018 18:50

As for parental agreements, I have principal/primary control of the children so he is in fact in breach of that.

As far as I know, that isn't a legal status in either Scotland or England/Wales - has it been issued by an overseas court?

If not, or if issued by a court not recognised in the UK, then the next question is does your ex have Parental Responsibility as defined here in the Uk? If so, then it's not possible for him to abduct his own children.

It sounds like this is a planned action by him, not a spontaneous one, so do you have contact with members of his family,? Could they help you, even if it's just to regain contact with them in the first instance?

Original poster
MumtoLO · 20/08/2018 18:56

Yes you are right, that order was made in the country we were in prior to this, where our divorce took place.

If that is the case, does that mean neither him nor me have any sort of parental responsibility act in place? I thought it would just go over and act in the same manner.

As for speaking to members of his family, I tried when he first took them but he accused me of harassing them, even though I clearly wasn't, and asked me to stop or he would take action against me.

Since then I haven't dared to speak to them again because it would only serve to anger him more and then he would completely block access.

OP posts:
myusernameblewaway · 20/08/2018 19:09

In the uk Parental responsibility is not the same as "parent with care" (which used to be referred to as residency)

Normally, both parents, if on the birth certificate have parental responsibility and this gives either of them equal legal rights over the DCs.

If a couple separate, the arrangements for the DCs are included on the divorce paperwork, but they are not enforceable by law. Any legal arrangements for children are made in family court.

If a family court makes a child arrangement order, this can place the child in the primary care of one parent legally, which restricts the rights of the other, non-resident parent.

You'd need legal advice to find out if the order made in your former country would be valid here.

Xenia · 20/08/2018 19:11

It must be awful for you.

Your biggest issue is going to be time. The longer they are used to and are with him the harder it will be to get them back as courts often stick with the status quo so the longer he can string this out the more chance the children would be ordered to live with him and not you. Have you any idea at all where they are in England eg near family he has in England as if you could find out you could go and stay near them and take them back.

Original poster
MumtoLO · 20/08/2018 19:16

The plan is to go down and try and locate them, any ideas how?

OP posts:
Mumteedum · 20/08/2018 19:18

Surely the police should do a welfare check if you have no idea where they are and ex won't tell you?

You need to find an experienced solicitor who can get this into an emergency hearing. I would have thought. You need a child arrangements order (which states resident parent status and everything).

Have you got a school place officially? If so, this would be important to stress.

Are you British and /or is yr husband?

Original poster
MumtoLO · 20/08/2018 19:21

The police did do a welfare check two weeks ago when he first took them, so the police know where he is but I still don't.

Yes, the children are both enrolled in school and I have communicated to the school what is happening so they are keeping their places for now.

My ex is British but I am not and neither are my children.

OP posts:
Reaa · 20/08/2018 20:20

For court, I would start with Scottish courts and then ask the courts to transfer to English courts if they decide not to proceed.

Justturned50 · 20/08/2018 20:29

Sorry you are going through this. Do you need to cancel passports so that they can't leave the country again?