Options for additional contact

[Jamielee444]

I've been in and out of court with my ex for a year now over contact arrangements for our DD. Contact has not gone well for the past year with three 3rd parties as witnesses. Handovers are now to be made at a centre. My ex has implied (he won't ask) that he wants more contact after the first handover was horrendous and DD was hysterical upon seeing her father. I've said that it's up to him to suggest arrangements. (Before this, he has given me a list of things he won't agree to and he has dismissed every offer I have made to him regarding both direct and indirect contact.)
He has now told me he wants more direct contact, and for me to be present and to help him bond with DD. He doesn't realise that he needs to make an effort too and expects me to do it for him. But my question is, would a judge expect me to get involved on this level and help him bond with her? She is nearly 3.

Nevermind what a judge might order - what about you doing it for the sake of your child?

If she is going to be more settled and happier if you are present, then be present. If she sees that you are comfortable with her father, then she may decide she can be. Kids pick up on parents' anxieties.

If there has been previous violence from F to you and you do not want to be in his presence, then ask that the contact take place in a contact centre where you can be present somewhere in the room alongside a centre worker (for example).

There are other reasons apart from violence why it could be completely unacceptable to OP to be present during contact.

I offered him a session at the centre and he refused.

The fact that he has to see his child at a contact centre is bad enough - why is this?

Does he want you there as a control thing over you?

It's been at the centre because Cafcass had concerns and police have been involved a few times.
He wants me there to support contact but he will blame me if he doesn't go well, like he has in the past. That's why I offered the centre.

I believe he wants you there as control over you. My ex and me are facing court no matter how often I tried to go through his mum etc or even emails he constantly messaged. Like he needed to see/speak to me to have some power and still be in my life.

It’s not up to you to help with his contact.

Yes he emails everyday about one thing or another . I've stopped replying as it wasn't ever going anywhere.