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Legal matters

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Anyone have knowledge of law?Can a child abuse case be made?

10 replies

BITCAT · 16/08/2018 15:22

Hi my 16 year old daughter was in a long term relationship with a young lad who from the outside seemed a nice lad, so did his family but this was not the case.
She was 14 when she first entered the relationship, he was 16..but my daughter has always been very mature for her age and i was happy for her to see him.
She is no longer with this boy, he abused her the entire relationship and i only found out about most of it after it ended. She has since reported him to the police for assault and emotional and physical abuse. And that is being dealt with. What i didnt know was the abuse and emotional abuse she had encountered at the hands of his family whilst she was in their care.
Being that she is a minor and was 15 for much of the time this happened would i have any grounds to put a child abuse claim against his parents.
Put downs, calling her fat, commenting on her hair, her clothes, and refusing to knock the door to enter the room where she would be changing etc, encouraging her to keep things from her parents and using stuff they had bought her against her, even though she never asked for anything. Convincing her that what her son had done was ok..ie smashing her head of his car window, they claimed..he only pushed you so he didnt hit you did he? And your mom doesnt need to hear about this?
Absolutely disgusted how anyone could act this way and belittle a child or defend there son like they have. If my son touched a woman, he would be in so much trouble regardless as to how old they were.

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politicalcorrectnessisgreat · 16/08/2018 15:50

Did she not live with you?

cheesefield · 16/08/2018 16:01

She could report his for physical assault, by I highly doubt any child abuse case could be made against his parents.

ApolloandDaphne · 16/08/2018 16:07

I worked in child protection as a social worker(in Scotland) and i have never heard of anyone being prosecuted for this type of thing. They can only be prosecuted if they have broken the law. She has reported her ex for the physical abuse which the police can act on but I doubt they can act on the other stuff, as horrible as it was for your DD.

BITCAT · 16/08/2018 16:08

politicalcorrectnessisgreat, yes she did. But stayed at his on various occassions..it was all discussed..she had a seperate room and i trusted my daughter as she is very sensible and still is. I just wish she had thought more of herself and not allowed those people to play with her head and make her feel bad.
His mother looks down on us as she has more money and uses it to get what she wants. But id rather be poor and be a decent person tbh.

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loveablether · 16/08/2018 16:14

You'll likely find that most young abusive people have learned that from somewhere - I've dealt with countless incidents of young men who have grown up in abusive houses go on to treat there partners the same - despite parents seeing and hearing this it's so normal for them that they almost don't see anything wrong with it. They focus more on their own child and want to protect them and rarely become witnesses.

The issues with the parents will be background info unless a specific crime happened to your daughter at their hands - ie the parents assaulted her, locked her in a room, made her in fear by their abusive or threats. Sounds like she's in a safer place now.

BITCAT · 16/08/2018 16:20

She is thanks loveablether.
She is getting there slowly..its such a shame her first experience of a relationship was so bad..its made her very wary and untrusting of people in general.
She starts fulltime course in sept so im hoping things will start looking up for her. She works with her brother so i know he looks out for her and makes sure she is safe..walks her home etc.
Its going to be a long road. Not sure how i will react if i see him or his parents on my travels though..part of me wants to rip there heads off!!

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loveablether · 16/08/2018 19:14

Don't rip their head off - you are just bringing yourself down and will get yourself in trouble - not worth it! Life lesson learned!

BITCAT · 16/08/2018 19:23

Its just how i feel atm a lot of anger..but im sure i wont rip their head off. I will sit back and hope that the police do their job and karma maybe gets them.

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NynaeveSedai · 16/08/2018 19:27

I really doubt any legal case could be made. The police would almost definitely not pursue charges and a I have no idea whether a civil case would be feasible.

I think you need to help your daughter learn from this rather than focus on anger.

BITCAT · 16/08/2018 20:05

Im trying to help her!! But as a parent i think i feel more angry at the fact that grown adults could be so vile towards a child and angry with myself for allowing this to happen even though i know i couldnt have stopped her seeing him.
Im there for her..we have monthly catch ups where just me and her go out for a meal or a movie. Cause out home is pretty busy and sometimes its hard to get 5mins peace. We are working on a project together..its going to take time.

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